[Corneac]

Hey man...cool poem. I always like poetry that can probe into human nature and you managed to fit in quite a few themes in only a few short lines; self loathing, insecurity, and the universal human condition.

I agree with Rena about a few of the comma, but man, this pretty great. I enjoyed the honesty, and although the premise was simple it retained a great refreshing air of clarity about it.

With broken heart, this tired soul
Begs from freedom from lack of control

See...maybe it was a typo, but I think it reads better now that with tow "from"'s on the same line, just might be my opinion, but seems like unneeded repetition to me. may not be completely clear on first reading...but that's the beauty of poetry than you can pick up different things after each reading.

No, the intention was that the face I see in the mirror is mine, but it could very well be yours (as in the person reading the poem). But now I see how it can be easily thought of as if I was saying that the face in the mirror which is mine is the mirror's. I should probably think of a way to change the context of "you" from the mirror to the reader, shouldn't I?

Nah...last lines were instantly evident to me...well rounded and made perfect sense. That the person you’re staring at; the monster, the catalyst of your self-loathing , that the reader could easily look in the mirror and see himself as those things? That all human experience those things…are all humans are inherently evil…or flawed. Anyway...great last line. Always hard to tie of the ends of poem, without skewing the metaphor and yours were pretty great.

I also noticed that you also used a bit of archaic language - "hark" and "thine", personally I love them, and give poetry a decadent old world feel, but you may run into those who dismiss it as fodder and insult to modern poetry. Your rhythm was a little of in places...went a little awry, looked like in places you were trying to hard to rhyme. But on the whole - good pace and excellent flow.

Your images were great - the whole idea of looking in the mirror and seeing the epitome of what we fear, the monster and all the petty emotion that humans experience. Great job, well rounded metaphor and great piece. Can’t wait to see more form you mate.