Quote:
|
Lightning strikes suddenly at 2 minutes to midnight.
|
Iron Maiden?
Quote:
|
Help me! Please, somebody please help me!"
|
The starting quote mark is missing.
Quote:
|
The Freak places a hand onto the man's...tears run down his face. Freak looks at the man...
|
While "Chainsaw Freak" is not a bad name to give to a man like the one you've decribed, calling him that in your narration appears to be just a little bit overdone/cheesy to me.
Apart from that, I liked the usage of time. It quickened the pace of the story quite a bit.