[Maud]

While Reading
"Assuming you were just a few feet off and your fall increased by quite a few more hundreds of feet and instead of being an omelet on the road you found yourself food for the fish. Most probably decapitated food for the fish."
The last sentence is cumbersome, and confusing.

"it had most indubitably"
Poor word choice with indubitably, almost comical.

"letting the dust fly from her tires like the flames of anger she could not subdue inside herself."
the similie is tacky and forced

Analysis
Narration-
Your tone fits in with your characters mood, which is definitly good. I like the escapisim of the bike which is great. I like how you build that feeling of escapisim with your narration (the majority of your story now focusing on its subject directly, but instead indirectly with the motercycle). This was one of the strongest points of your story. You use some brilliant imagery, without becoming oppssed with it.

Less of this: "A few scattered clouds blanketed the diamonds that lay on the velvet sheet of the night sky."

More of This: "The glowing lights of high-beams rested upon her as a sleek black Jaguar pulled up via the covered road towards the scenic overlook."

The best methods of imagery always include action, people look at pictures for images, people read for action. Imagery should therefore be a device for action, so without all my fluff use more indirect imagery than direct imagery.

Plot-
I like strong plots. This didnt have one, but I can cope. I like how the narration fits in with all of this character bulding all through metaphor. It simple but I do belive that there is a right way and wrong way to do things. Here you did need more of that famous formula weve been though since elementry school- rising action, climax, falling action, resolution. By no means does this have to be your focus, but it does have to exist. Otherwise its just not a story.

Language-
Your diction is forced in some places. I have a list of words improperly used below, finding them and changing them us up to you-

"Woodsy"
"vigor"- not bad, just could be better
"puffed" air cant puff unless your talking about a certain magic dragon
"spunky" just a word that should be used unless you are trying to be corny in a "youve got spunk" type sentence
"huffed" goes quite well with puffed...

Your syntax can be screwy too in places I have some below.

"When she reached the lookout, she skidded to a stop and pulled off her helmet, shaking out her matted hair and inhaling the brisk night air." a cumbersome sentence, just too much going on to be easy and fluid.

" He had graduated top of his class at his Ivy League campus, had worked for several years with high end law firms and businesses before leaving the high end business elite for a sabbatical in Monterey." the two clauses just dont fit well togther, you need a conjunction buddy an and would fit well there.

" He had graduated top of his class at his Ivy League campus, had worked for several years with high end law firms and businesses before leaving the high end business elite for a sabbatical in Monterey." I dont like this sentence. I just dont like it. I discussed it with Syrah and she agrees it needs a reformatting, I cant put my finger on it, but something has to be done.

Characterisation-
Kind of flat, but for such a short piece I should complain but I will. It seems to just good and evil to me. The bitch and the woman who plays by no rules but her own. I just cant see a woman who doesnt know her sons eye color, and doesnt really care about him, but yet goes to mourn him. I dont know I just dont like it. The main character though is fine, more could be done like I have yet to see a story where more couldnt be done.

Final Thoughts-

Youve wrote a well crafted story. I like the escapisim as Ive said like a million times. Your diction and syntax are where most of your work needs to be done. All I can say more is as you write more your characters and plots will become more complex, layers on top of layers, this doesnt have that yet, but it certainly provides a foundation for levels to be built upon it.