View Single Post
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2007, 07:05 AM
GermanRose21's Avatar
GermanRose21 GermanRose21 is offline
Regular Reader
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 22
Total Points: 260.00
GermanRose21 is a regular around hereGermanRose21 is a regular around hereGermanRose21 is a regular around here
Send a message via AIM to GermanRose21 Send a message via MSN to GermanRose21
Re: Along Came a Stranger - Part 1

The intro is probably the hardest thing in the world to write. It is for me anyway, the idea for a great story is there, now the problem is putting it into words and hooking a reader to make them stick around to know whats going to happen. I like your story, but as JirQUEST said, the first part of it is incredibly confusing, you have so many characters and it needs to be a bit more clear as to who is who and how they know each other. In my opinion your story got better the longer it continued. The last part with the killer was great! I would just suggest re-writing the first part and making it a bit clearer and easier for your readers to follow. Great job though!
__________________
"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness" ~ Carl Jung
Reply With Quote