[Corneac]

Nice poem. But really any one can create a "nice" poem...what we really yearn to create as self-proclaimed "poets" is some-thing breathtaking - something so mind-blowing, a perfect conjunction of rhyme rhyme, flow and concept that it leaves the reader in awe,, struck by a unique take, feeling etc.

Its a fraction, I dare say, of what we wish to become;

needs an apostrophe

Like...Phonoho said, it seems to lack real intent. A clear unveiling of idea…more a musing fo words that doesn't really communicate much to the reader.

Now, I know your new here - and I may be coming off as harsh. I would try using no rhyme...it shouldn't seemed force it just doesn't work and I think it would suite your ponderous style.

Welcome to the site...and keep writing mate.