14-10-2007, 01:14 AM
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Amateur Kid Poet
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 4,138
Total Points: 480,717.42
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Re: Found
Wow...Haruna...I really liked this! Certainly not perfect, but honestly for someon who doesn't write poetry, that much, it was really something.
Interesting rhythm, it was a little awry at points because the shift in your rhyme scheme, but that gave it half it's charm. It was honest...and innocent and rather lovely. You sap! Hahaha...nah...happy for you...and you can make a fantastic poet yet...if you keep this up.
Quote:
Like an orange falling from an apple tree,
he found me when I least expected;
in my mind and heart he is all I see.
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Loved that metaphor, for some reason, have a urge to steal it. But I won't...lol. Anyway...I really enjoyed this. Great poem...and keep writing.
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I like boys with strong convictions and convicts with perfect diction, Underdogs with good intentions Amputees with stamp collections
-So Nice, So Smart
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