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Re: Meltdown
Hmmm...agree. Not my fav of yours either. Still, great description throughout. Now, to criticism: Stanza two is very choppy, as pointed out by Princess, and you've gone comma happy once again. Return of the Comma Queen! Oh how I shudder. Still, it's not bad poetry for an admittedly prose girl, so kudos to you for trying something new! ^_^
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The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
-Carl Sandburg
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