Well, you've got me started. I love where this is going. It has a bit of sci-fi and fantasy all rolled into one, plus some really intriguing characters. I like how you've brought out the relationships among the various characters, and you've set up some nice foreshadowing - but not necessarily predictable. I can see this going lots of ways, including ones I haven't even thought of.
My only gripe is that some of the sentences are too long. I think a sentence can go on long and be ok if that happens to be what's needed to make a coherent thought. (And I sometimes tend toward longer sentences myself, if you haven't noticed.) But if you try to cram too many ideas into one sentence, it can be more difficult for the reader. One in particular is this senta-graph (para-tence?):
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Sharisze knew full well the power wielded by Lady Farthal, the high council woman being the reason she still retained a junior position, having blamed her for Norton’s wild ways and ultimate disgrace, despite the fact Sharisze could not in any form be held accountable for Norton’s outrageous ideas and attempts to incite foolishness in other young men.
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Sometimes the sentences feel like when you turn off the car and it tries to keep going, knocking over and over, refusing to go silent, and you're just sitting waiting for it to end. (Does that happen to anyone any more?) So I think if you can keep sentences focused on a single thought, it will be easier to digest. Another example:
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Ignoring the chuckle from Andreous, she instead turned to focus on Mary’s younger brother Mitch, having talked to him on a few occasions, finding him shy and reserved, with big brown expressive eyes.
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This goes from a chuckling Andreous to her looking at the brother to him being shy and reserved to him having brown expressive eyes. That's quite a trek for a single sentence! I would think it almost works, if not for the last part about the eyes. For some reason, that pushed it for me to being too much info in a single sentence. I think it's all great stuff and wonderfully descriptive, but it's a bit much to take in in one bite. You could do something like:
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Ignoring the chuckle from Andreous, she instead turned to focus on Mary’s younger brother Mitch. She had talked to him on a few occasions, finding him shy and reserved, with big brown expressive eyes.
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Even that single mental breath point would help.
Overall, I think this is wonderful, with lots of potential. I look forward to seeing where it all goes.
