Thread: Jack's New Card
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Old 21-10-2007, 05:25 PM
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Re: Jack's New Card

Hmmm, I think I remember you posting this a while back!

Anyway, the only thing that I can suggest so far is to build some anticipation with the evil spirit in the card.

There was also a sentence where the person actually said "Sigh" rather than expressed aggravation with a sigh.

Ummm, let's see. I think that you could have gotten away with leaving specific show names out of the picture. It's very easy for someone like me to get sidetracked.

Other than the few things that I pointed out, the story was wicked awesome, especially for being seven years old.
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