21-10-2007, 09:53 PM
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Amateur Kid Poet
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 4,138
Total Points: 480,717.42
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Re: 7:40
SeaN! Awesome man...serious I loved this. Don't no whether it's the universal feelings or what. But you have such a great clarity about your words - although your description paint such a vivid picture...they still manage to convey so much. It's awesome man. Fr45om an objective point of view, your poetry is pretty much perfect - dexciprions and imagery that hit the reader, beautiful flow. Well rounded metaphors. It's great. Really.
But sometimes I wonder if the rhyme, and the perfect are fetters on your skill. Ah we, I can wonder.
Anyway, darn brilliant...and the personification was well done.
Quote:
Songbirds mock the insincere
as daybreak flaunts its glory.
The stoic river claps and yawns-
tells a silent story.
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Made me green with envy dude. And the inspirational yet not, last stanza was marvellous.
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I like boys with strong convictions and convicts with perfect diction, Underdogs with good intentions Amputees with stamp collections
-So Nice, So Smart
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