[~HorseHeart~]

well what i have to say about it is that i like it it is a good paice but i say u shouldaddmore emotion and drama but take unimportant things oyut like the cell phone.....it was a waste of time to read something that meant nothing also the ending i saw cheese it up a bit something like 'a storm came around and thunder and lightning took out the power and it was dark and h esat alone in his living room. Suddenly, a flash of lightning was at the window nad he saw the shadow of a man then it left as fast as it came. The nteh phone rang again! it was the same man calling again but his voice didnt come out of the phone.....it was behind him. He jumped up and flipped around to see the man, holding his parents with a knife to their neck and a gag around their mouths' well okay i was being a bit weird but its late but something dramatic long like that horror is a short easy word for suspence which is what i want SUSPENCE!!!! well yeah im just weird but still if you worked on it to make it dramaticand full of suspence to hold the audience then it would be just fine ^^