[Syrah]

I have to admit, I didn't understand everything in here myself, although I think I got about 97% of it. I liked the flow and the alternative style you are bringing here. This kinda reminds me of a Jill Scott type of musical poetry, if you don't know her I strongly recommend you looking at her website. She's fabulous. Love her. Anywho, Without the full understanding of your work I'm not going to really critique it. The different style of language can be a really good use here but without the full knowledge I fear my opinions and critiques would be seriously lacking.

A suggestion-- maybe doing a little glossary type deal at the end so more people can fully appreciate and critique this piece.