auto this is an intense story my friend. The style of writing creates a unique tension that builds throughout the work. I found myself drawing many parallels to the world today; issues of freedom, terrorism and government control. I was really drawn in quickly as this momentum toward a revolution of sorts seemed to grow.
Interesting and effective form you picked in terms of presentation; I like the journal entries. The title is catchy and intriguing (I'm actually quite surprised it hasn't gotten any responses yet). On top of that, your choice of topic is quite clever- presenting a story about the internet to an online community. Nicely done.
Well written as well. There were a couple of points I thought were worth mentioning;
Quote:
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His name was Ashida Shin-ra. He ran a torrent tracker on a server in singapore. He liked anime. He was in university. He was average height and build. He wore glasses, no contacts. He was afraid to touch his eyes. He is famous where we come from. His was the first site banned from the Worldnet.
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I wasn't crazy about the simplicity of sentence structure here. I believe you are using it as a literary device; to reinforce the feeling that this is just a regular guy- not really unlike you or me. Nothing special about him really- simple, straight and to the point. I have to admit though, it seemed out of place- almost like a change-up pitch. The sentence after you 'pick up the pace' again with complex diction, introducing metaphor's and precise descriptions.
(oh and you should probably capatilize 'Singapore' by the way)
I really liked the way you list the names and offenses right after that. The way you allow the reader to absorb list and notice the progression is very cool.
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Overall very good read and interesting idea man. I hope there will me more entries! I feel like the story is just beginning.