[Vail]

Very short piece... I know you were going for free form, but your set-up and the brevity of the work really made this one lend itself to a pattern that you created in the first four lines. After that you confuse the pattern you set-up by putting two lines in a row in the same pattern as your first and third. I think this one would be a little better if you threw a little more form into it. As far as the content goes, I appreciate it greatly. While a little over-used.. you still manage to give it a personal touch... That personal touch is what defines you as a writer... and it's something you will never lose, no matter how much better you get a writing... I enjoyed that little signature flair, and your last two lines were not disappointing to me at all.. I actually recommend you reconstruct a better poem built around those two lines... Anyhow.. decent write. Thanks for sharing.