[purpulfantom]

Powerfully written; the authorial voice is absolutely perfect in getting the message across, much like the advertisers on TV who tell us to go and buy their new car because it has knobs on the dashboard. It definately strikes a chord and we are dragged into this futurist world of two webs.

To say that the first three "entries" are merely exposition, the way in which this is done is very subtle indeed. Whilst I don't know who the main character is, I know the sort of person he (or she) is, and the world they live in. Expertly done.

On the other hand, whilst the short sentence structure serves to get the reader to reel from the blow of the last sentence, it gets a little weary after a while, and the impact is lost slightly. Short sentences are like giving your audience a gentle nudge away, and seems to say "Stop. Think. Now read on", over-use can feel like someone is driving a car and hasn't quite got used to the gears.

Don't get me wrong, I liked it, and it scores quite highly. The only areas it fell down on were really due to there not being enough material to score higher yet. Others may disagree, but I'd like to read a little more before the high marks start flying.