Thanks purpulfantom. Yes, this whole process is working out well. It's good to get feedback. Glad you like the new paragraph.
Thanks, jerH for another catch. I don't know why, but I have a habit of leaving out entire words. *sigh* That might have been the result of one to many Racer 5 IPAs (forced down my throat by an evil force, of course...).
Here is the original of the part you feel is rough:
Quote:
I walked up to the entrance as someone inside shouted, "Farkin' shite!"
That was how I met, Patrick Hiromatsu. A mixed Irish/Japanese who loved Bonsai Trees.
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See if this sounds smoother:
"I walked up to the entrance as someone inside shouted, "Farkin' shite!"
The sound of Irish cursing mirrored my earlier frustration and introduced me to Patrick Hiromatsu. A mixed Irish/Japanese who loved Bonsai Trees."
Thanks for the feedback!
ea_blue