[Ambrose]

Some over-the-top but vivid metaphors/similes there. Some that I like:

"His face bulged like a bag of spiders"

"She wore her lipstick like a lioness after the kill"

Problem is, I really don't know how you mean by these descriptions. It almost seems like your describing for the sake of describing, and not really telling the reader anything.

What I really want to know is, what is the purpose of the protagonist's experience. Why does he awake groggy and disoriented? Why is so sensitive to external noises (the car horn)? And how does this all fit in to his meeting with the girl (which was also really confusing by the way)?

I think obscure writing can have a purpose in that it allows the reader to do some active thinking and make his/her own interpretations. But for me, this was just too impenetrable to figure out.