[foxblade]

Vague... umm, very vague...

Here's what I can tell you, though, from my own experience in writing.

Explain the lights a little more because they were useless in the entire plot of the story. All that I can see is that they were will o' the wisps or St. Elmo's fire, but they're usually found in and around cemetaries out doors or in the woods.

Also, the boys in the story seem to be lacking the fear that is needed for impending death. They hesitated to get to the door but their fear dissipated when they met Valfor, the evil, old parrot wielding King of Abis? I don't get it.

And last but not least... How on earth did they get there in the first place? When you're writing a third person narrative, it's good to give at least a little bit of backup information, just to gat an idea of where the story is going, you know what I mean?

Also, wha tdoes the title have to do with the story???

What you can do to fix it up a little bit is to write another chapter to this so that you can explain a little more about the lights and the old parrot, and escape... if they do escape, that is.