[king4adaze5]

Tales of Squaretopia

I. Tetragon's Quest
II. The Chronicles of Circoid
III. The Terror of the Psychosaurus

I. Tetragon's Quest

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, a square planet traveled through space on the back of a mighty bird, a parakeet to be exact, whose powerful wings carried an entire civilization of people. These people were a highly intelligent race, creating many great and wondrous things.

Of course, how could they not be a prosperous people, what with a leader such as King Rhombus VIII? He was beloved by all, and under his guidance, they had indeed created a Squaretopia. The Squaretopians' every wish was fulfilled in this astonishing world. There was no war, no hunger, and all necessities were provided for. Everyone was very happy.

When King Rhombus was not looking after the welfare of his people, he could often be found gazing out into the vast reaches of outer space and wondering if life existed on these other worlds. And if so, what would the creatures look like? Would they be square like his race, or would they be something entirely different? Could they be three dimensional? The idea that he could meet and swap ideas with aliens was something that the King found to be very thrilling.

One night, as the King sat at his window seal, he saw in the sky a comet flying amongst the stars. This lone comet, hurtling through space sparked an idea in the mind of the King. What if a machine could be created that could journey through space and visit the other worlds that he had dreamt of for so long? He took some paper and sketched his ideas down long into the early morning hours before finally drifting off to sleep.

The following morning, he was awakened as the sunlight poured into his open window. Sleepily he opened his eyes and looking down, he saw his sketches from the previous night. He immediately sprung up and called for the captain of the guards.

"Sir Slushy, Sir Slushy!" the King called out with urgency in his voice.

Without delay, Sir Slushy appeared, and with concern for the King's well-being, asked, "King Rhombus, whatever is the matter? Are you alright?"

King Rhombus replied, "Alright? Why, Sir Slushy, I have never been better! This, my dear friend, is certainly a glorious day!"

The king began to tell Sir Slushy of the previous night, of the comet and showed him the sketches of the flying machine.
And while he explained all of this to Sir Slushy, I will take a moment to tell all of you about Sir Slushy of Those Mountains. Sir Slushy is a member of a family of snowmen who lived at the very top of Those Mountains. He is a direct descendant of other famous Captains of the Guard, such as Sir Melts-A-Way and Sir Icy. The members of the Snowman family of Those Mountains have long been chosen for their bravery and valor. And Sir Slushy is no exception, having lost one of his eyes in the defense of the King, when he was attacked by a wild It, that was infected with the Rampaging It virus.

Well, it looks as though King Rhombus is just about finished up, so back to the tale we go.

"A flying machine, my word what an amazing idea, King Rhombus!" exclaimed Sir Slushy.

"Yes, I'm pretty proud of it myself. Now, Sir Slushy, I need you to make copies of this sketch, and then assemble your Knights of the Square Table to gather for me the most brilliant inventors on Squaretopia, and after that we shall begin work on the flying machine!" said King Rhombus.

Sir Slushy did as instructed, and went in search of the most brilliant inventors. He and his men gathered a group of 7, which will from this point on be referred to as the Fellowship of the Machine. The Fellowship discussed the sketch for several days before going to work on making the King's dreams into a reality. Many times did the Sun rise and set on Squaretopia as the Fellowship labored away. The people watched and anticipated the day when it would be completed; for they had no doubt that the King would succeed in his plans.

And so, it was on the 4th day of the 23 month in the Year of the Moo Poo that the flying machine was finally completed. All of Squaretopia journeyed to the Capital to stand in awe of the marvelous invention. Only one question remained though. Who would pilot the flying machine? King Rhombus wished so to see the other worlds, but he could not simply up and leave his people behind, they needed their King. The King talked it over with the Fellowship and the Knights of the Square Table. And all were in agreement that there was only one who could partake on such a dangerous mission... Tetragon!

Tetragon had always loved a great quest. For, was it not his great, great, great Grandfather who sailed What Ocean and proved that the world was flat and not round, which had so often been the subject of much debate? His sense of adventure had been passed down through all the generations to Tetragon, and this made Tetragon the obvious choice.

The King sent Sir Slushy to the house of Tetragon, and summoned him to the castle. There, he explained why Tetragon must pilot the flying machine. Tetragon, honored by the request of King Rhombus, willingly accepted the offer. The King then asked Sir Slushy to accompany Tetragon, to watch over and protect him, for there could be many dangers lurking ahead.

Later that evening, a grand feast was thrown in honor of Tetragon and Sir Slushy. The two indulged in the singing and dancing, not to mention a meal that was fit for King Rhombus himself. The merriment lasted until midnight. Then Tetragon was shown his luxurious room in which he would stay for the night, prepared by servants of the King. Tetragon sleep little the rest of the night. The thought of what awaited him was both thrilling and terrifying.

In the morning, the servants awoke Tetragon and Sir Slushy, and along with the King, The Fellowship, and the Knights of the Square Table, journeyed to the Flying Machine. The big moment had arrived, and all of Squaretopia was there to witness the event that they would be talking about for scores of years to come. Tetragon and Slushy had the support of all of their friends, even Tetragirl, who Tetragon had just recently proposed to. He and Tetragirl had planned to marry in only a few months, but would put their own plans on hold for what would hopefully be the betterment of all Squarekind. As Tetragon and Slushy boarded the Machine, Tetragirl waved good-bye, with a tear in her eye, not knowing whether she would ever see her beloved Tetragon again.

Tetragon and Sir Slushy made their way into the control room, and took their seats. Sir Slushy looked over at Tetragon, who was busily pushing buttons and checking gauges, up until he came to the big, shiny, red one that said start.

"This is it, Sir Slushy, we're going to be the first Squaretopians in outer space," said Tetragon to Sir Slushy. "Are you all set? Did you go to the bathroom and everything? Because I wouldn't want to have to stop and..."

"Quit stalling and push the button already!" Sir Slushy said impatiently.

Tetragon reached down and hit the ignition switch. The Flying Machine started up, as all of Squaretopia erupted into cheers. Within seconds, the Flying Machine began its upward ascent into the sky, going higher and higher until finally moving out of viewing distance. As they left the only world they had ever known, Tetragon and Sir Slushy looked out the window, at the square planet being carried on the back of the giant Parakeet. They saw the four moons and the sun revolving around its head. And then, too quickly, everything was gone from sight. The only thing they could see was the infinite blackness of space going on for what seemed forever.

Quite a few days would go by where Tetragon and Sir Slushy would see nothing, and then every so often, a barren planet would appear. Their hopes of finding anything began to fade away more with each passing moment.

For Tetragon, space madness eventually set in, and for awhile, he began wearing his underwear upon his head, and calling himself the Prince of Skidmarks. Sir Slushy fared slightly better, as his years spent as a knight helped him pass the time, he designed his own training program, and read the code of the Knights of the Square Table, over and over again.

But, things would change, and change quickly for Tetragon and Sir Slushy. Into their view slowly, came a planet, a beautiful blue planet floating in space. Once they caught sight of it, they snapped out of their daze.

"Tetragon, look, that planet, its blue... there must be water, and where there's water there's life!" Sir Slushy said.

Tetragon looked out the window, he then began pushing buttons and the on-board computer began an analysis of the planet. After several minutes, the results were complete.

"Sir Slushy, you're right, the computer said it has found many diverse life forms inhabiting that blue planet!" Tetragon said to Sir Slushy.

Tetragon began plotting a course for the Blue Planet. As they entered the atmosphere, the temperature inside began rising to agonizing extremes. Tetragon looked over at Sir Slushy, who has begun to melt away into a puddle of water on the floor.

"Hold on Sir Slushy, we're almost there!"

The gravitational pull of the Blue Planet and the speed of entry caused the Flying Machine to begin spiraling out of control. Tetragon attempted to bring the Machine down slowly, but it crashed hard onto the white ground. Tetragon was a bit disoriented and shaken from the collision with the ground, but otherwise all right.

"That was too close, but we made it... Sir Slushy? Sir Slushy? Nooooo!!!!" Tetragon screamed when he looked over at Sir Slushy who has become nothing more than a few sticks, buttons, and a lone carrot.

Tetragon was stricken with grief, as thought of having to complete this journey all alone took hold. But, he decided that Sir Slushy must have a proper burial, as he gave his life in the line of duty. Tetragon made his way to the back of the machine, took a mop from the storage closet and a bucket. He proceeded to clean up the water that once formed Sir Slushy, and drained it into a bucket, along with the sticks and buttons. But, something happened midway through. The sound of singing distracted Tetragon.

"Singing? It's coming from outside!" Tetragon quickly ran to the window to find a group of bizarre looking beings dressed in heavy clothing singing merrily.

These beings had five fingers and round heads. Tetragon had never seen anything like them. He decided that they appeared to be friendly enough, so he went over to the hatch, and opened it. And there he stood, the small, two dimensional square with mop and bucket in hand before what he would come to know as the humans.

"Frosty the snowman, was a jolly, happy soul..." they sung, as some of the smaller ones played in the snow.

"Are they making a snow-man?" Tetragon thought. "It looks so much like Sir Slushy..."

Tetragon slowly walked down the steps of the Flying Machine, carrying the remains of Sir Slushy. And as he stepped foot onto the ground for the first time, he said, "One small step for Square, one giant leap for Squarekind." He continued walking forward while looking at the little small beings. Tetragon made his way over to the snowman and placed the arms onto it. He then placed the carrot nose and arranged the buttons, which caused something magical... something that could only happen at Christmas. A star in the sky shone down... and the Snowman began to move.

"Sir Slushy? Sir Slushy... you're alive!" Tetragon shouted joyfully.

Sir Slushy looked around, seeing Tetragon smiling, the Christmas Carolers singing, and the snow covered land that would become his home.

"I'm alive...I'm alive! Tetragon, I'm alive! But, where are we?"

"I don't know yet, Sir Slushy, but these beings helped to bring you back to life."

Tetragon and Sir Slushy look at the beings and then at the ship; it was badly damaged and would require many repairs.

"It looks like we're going to be stuck here for awhile, Tetragon."

"Yeah, but I have a feeling everything's going to be alright."

The two walked into the crowd of Carolers, and began looking at the world around them. They knew it would be some time before they would be able to return to Squaretopia, but, in the meantime, they would make the most of this opportunity, and besides, this place looked like a nice place to visit...


II. The Chronicles of Circoid

In the cold darkness of space, a lone starship emerges from out of a black hole. The driver inside has little time to think about where he is, as he quickly weaves to the right, and then downwards to narrowly avoid hitting a massive asteroid, which would have surely destroyed his ship upon impact had the driver not used his skills so accurately.

The ship sailed around, leaving a trail of sparkling glitter dust behind, while passing by and observing several planets. The driver could not help but stare, utterly fascinated at the foreign worlds that were so strange and different from his own. His one large eye, opened wide, took in the sights of the beautiful planets and moons that passed by.

He continued on until seeing a blue planet, the third from the sun. Checking his on-board computer, he found that he had indeed arrived at his destination, and therefore began making preparations to land.

That night, on the planet Earth, many would report seeing bright lights up in the sky. Of course, the government would deny all knowledge of the starship, it was just standard procedure, but they watched and documented the arrival of Circoid the Not-So-Great, a little green man from a galaxy nearly a billion light years away called Circonia.

Circoid would circle the earth a couple of times, as parking was always so hard to find, and finally set down gently onto the ground where he would be greeted by two government agents. One a tall man, the other short and squat.

Looking out his window, he saw his welcoming committee, but before leaving, took a moment to shut the power to his ship down, and activated the anti-burglar alarm. Circoid then pulled a lever that raised the top of the starship, while lowering a set of steps that descended to ground level. He walked out of the ship, moving slowly until into full view of the two men. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. He felt the cool breeze against his face, and shivered slightly before waving cheerfully at the agents, who approached and met him at the bottom of the stairs.

"Circoid, welcome to planet Earth, we were expecting you", said The Short Man.

"But not till tomorrow, you're early", said The Tall Man, sounding a little annoyed by the fact that he had to leave the comfort of his bed to attend to this whole business.

Circoid looks at both men, with an expression of curiosity on his face. Having never seen an actual human, he reaches to touch the face of The Short Man, and playfully messed up his hair. He then did the same to The Tall Man, grabbing his nose in what was a comical sight, as he emitted a sound comparable to a human giggling.

"He's got your nose", The Short Man said while laughing.

The Tall Man shooed Circoid away from him, and said, "Let's just get this over and done with already!"

"Circoid, if you will follow us, we will take you to your home away from home here on earth," said The Short Man, pointing to his car that sat in the distance. Circoid and the agents walked over to the car. Circoid, slightly confused on just how he was supposed to enter the vehicle, pulled on the door, and ripped it right off the car.

"My car", said The Tall Man furiously, "My new car! Do you know how much this car cost me!?"

Circoid looked at him, and then down at the door that he was holding. He made the connection that The Tall Man was shouting about the door, and handed it to him. Thinking that he was about to take The Tall Man's seat, he walked around to the other side and repeated his actions, tearing the other door off and taking that seat instead.

"Well, at least it matches now", said The Short Man, trying hard not to bust into a fit of laughter.

"Matches? Arrrggghhh!"

The two men entered the car and drove off. After a short while, they arrived at a small house. They parked near the mailbox and The Short Man exited the car.

"I'll be just a few moments. Wait right here, Circoid."

"What about me?" said The Tall Man.

"Just watch Circoid."

"Alright, but if he poops in my car, you're gonna be the one cleaning up the mess!"

The Short Man made his way to the front door, knocked, and after a few moments, the door opened slightly.

Tetragon was visible through the crack, and looked rather sad compared to his usual cheery attitude, due to Sir Slushy departing for the arctic regions. It was hard for Tetragon to say good-bye to his friend, but it was decided that it was in his best interest after learning of the seasonal weather changes, that Slushy find a more suitable climate. The Short Man had assisted Slushy, and made all the necessary arrangements for his journey, and in the process, he had befriended Tetragon.

"Tetragon, I have a surprise for you! Circoid landed early and he's outside", The Short Man said excitedly.

Tetragon opened the door wider; his eyes grew at the sight of Circoid, who at this point has left the car and was throwing The Tall Man up in the air like a ball.

"Put me down! I demand you put me down right this instant!" shouted The Tall Man, but Circoid paid no mind.

The Short Man encouraged Tetragon to step out of the house, which caught the attention of Circoid. So intrigued by the sight of Tetragon was he, that he forgot all about throwing The Tall Man up in the air and not catch him on his way back down.

"Ouch! My back!" said The Tall Man as he crashed onto the ground with a thud.

The Short Man gestured for Circoid to come join him and Tetragon. He walked over cautiously. Tetragon and Circoid look at each other; wonder filled their minds. The Short Man bade them farewell, went over to pick The Tall Man off the ground, and threw him into the back seat. He waved to Tetragon and Circoid as he drove away, leaving the two aliens beings to learn more about each other.

Tetragon invited Circoid into his home, and began to tell him the story of how he ended up here on earth and of Sir Slushy. Circoid then recounted his own tale. In a short time-span, the two had bonded, and a friendship was formed between two creatures that could not be more different, and yet could not be more alike.


III. The Terror of the Psychosaurus

In the early morning hours, inside a small house, Tetragon lied sleeping all tucked in under his covers with a soft fluffy pillow underneath his head, and dreaming of his homeland of Squaretopia and of the friends he left behind. In the next room, Circoid is counting Zoop Zoops (A Zoop Zoop is a small, furry, round animal, native to Circonia that resembles what we on earth call sheep. Although, much smaller and violet in coloring, they're quite tame, and many Circonians wear them as hats during the rainy season), while trying to fall asleep, his body still adjusting to the 24 hour periods of daylight and darkness on Earth, which were so very different to Circonia's 86 hour days.

"Ninety five Zoop Zoops... Ninety Six Zoop Zoops..." Circoid counted aloud to himself before finally drifting off to catch forty winks.

Over the past few weeks, Tetragon and Circoid have learned much of Earth, both past and present, and have spent a considerable amount of time learning each other's histories as well. Tetragon had more time on his hands than he had planned since Circoid's arrival. He had stopped work on the repairs of the flying machine, as Circoid's own ship was in perfect working order, and when the time came, could easily return both Tetragon and Slushy to their planets of origin. And speaking of Sir Slushy, he has become very well-known throughout Alaska, having embarked on a very lucrative career as an ultra cool nightclub DJ calling himself M.C. Slushy.

A doorbell began to ring, causing Tetragon to awake. He hurriedly jumped up, and put on his bunny slippers, and made his way to the door. He cracked the door open and peeked outside to see his friend, The Short Man standing there. The Short Man wore a look of concern on his face, which was very different from how Tetragon had always seen him.

"Tetragon, at precisely 2300 hours last night, an unknown ship landed. Surveillance was able to pinpoint the location as Tiger's Woods. It's not far from here. The Tall Man was instructed to check it out, but he has yet to return, and we have had no contact with him since he left headquarters.

"Oh, I thought something was wrong, well goodnight."

Tetragon began to shut the door when The Short Man pushed it back open and stepped inside.

"Tetragon this is serious. We have to find out where they took him, and why," The Short Man said

"You're serious about this?"

"Very much so, The Tall Man and I have been partners for many years, and I have to help him... besides he owes me five bucks."

"Oh, well if that's the case, I have five..."

"No, it's the principal of the five bucks which is important."

"Alrighty then, let me go get Circoid and we'll all go check it out."

The Short Man looks down at the fuzzy pink bunny slippers that Tetragon is wearing.

"What, they were on sale! Oh, alright, I'll change first..."

"Good, now get going, we haven't a minute to spare! Who knows what those aliens are doing to The Tall Man at this very moment!"

"Yes, well I'll hurry then..." Tetragon said as he walks off very slowly, a small grin on his face.

A few moments later, Tetragon re-emerged, slipper-less, and accompanied by a half-awake Circoid, who looked dangerously close to nodding back off at any second. The Short Man looks at his troops. First at Tetragon, then at Circoid, he then realizes something... he was at this time reminded of something his mother had always told him as a small child, and that was to always wear clean underpants, because you never know when you're going to get in a terrible, disfiguring accident and need to go to the hospital, because, apparently that is the first thing they're going to notice. But, nevertheless, right now, looking at these two, and knowing the danger that could await him, he took some small comfort in knowing that he remembered to change his underpants this morning.

The three then set off for Tiger's Woods, and following a short drive, in which they briefly stopped for ice cream, they arrived at their destination.

"We're here," said The Short Man, a slight tremble is audible in his voice, for he knows not what awaits him inside... the Bat Cave!

"So, this is the Bat Cave?" said Tetragon.

"I'm afraid of bats!" Circoid said.

"Oh, don't worry, Circoid, it's not those king of bats. They use wood from these trees to make Major League Baseball Bats, and then when they are either broken or old, they are respectfully returned to these woods and thrown inside the cave, hence the name," explained The Short Man.

"So, what you're saying is that this cave is more or less a garbage dump?" inquired Tetragon.

"Uh...yes," answered The Short Man.

Circoid, relived to know that he will not be the main course for a blood-thirsty bat, began looking around as the three enter the cave. He saw a recognizable foot print in the mud near the entrance to the Bat Cave.

"Guys, I think we have a problem." Circoid said as they begin delving deeper inside the cave.

"What is it?" asked The Short Man as he and Tetragon turn to face Circoid.

"A... Mon... Mon... A... Mon..." mumbled Circoid.
.
"A Monument?" The Short Man said confusedly while scratching his head.

"A Monster!!!" screams Circoid as the Psychosaurus appears behind The Short Man and Tetragon.

"A monster? Don't be silly, Circoid, there aren't any... oh poop..." said Tetragon as he turns around.

"I smell fear... I smell dread... I smell... I smell... aww, who's baking brownies?!" said the Psychosaurus.

The Short Man looked up, coming face-to-face with the hideous Psychosaurus.

"So much for the "clean" underpants..." The Short Man said with a small, nervous laugh.

"Uh...need fresh air...or a gas mask...anyone got some air freshener?" The Psychosaurus said while gasping for breath.

Seeing as how the Psychosaurus had been stunned by The Short Man, the three grabbed a Louisville Slugger, and proceeded to beat the living daylights out of the Psychosaurus.

"Hey Psychosaurus, have of got anymore of those mini pizzas?" said The Tall Man as he walked in on The Short Man, Tetragon, and Circoid thoroughly beating the stuffing out of the Psychosaurus.

"What are you doing?" yelled The Tall Man.

The Short Man sees that The Tall Man is still alive, and perfectly all right and therefore rushed over and gave him a big hug.

"You're still alive! I thought the Psychosaurus had you for breakfast!" said The Short Man.

"Had me for...? No, Psycho arrived unannounced and invited me to have breakfast with him."

"Well, that is a relief. We thought he had come to Earth on a quest for world domination... hey, what's this do?" Tetragon asked as he removed a scepter from a rock pedestal.

"Noooo! Don't touch that!" Shouts The Tall Man as a loud rumbling began off in the distance.

"Aww, come on now! First we have to defeat a big, ugly Psychosaurus, now we have to outrun a rolling stone?" said Tetragon sarcastically as he saw a giant boulder rolling from behind The Tall Man.

"That shouldn't be too difficult, I mean Mick and Keith are what...250 years old now?" The Tall Man grunted.

Tetragon pointed the boulder that is quickly advancing towards them.

"Aahhhh!" The Tall Man screamed like a teenage girl at a Justin Timberlake Concert.

Circoid, The Tall Man, The Short Man, and Tetragon took off in a run, (?Insert Indy Jones theme here?) as the huge boulders continues nearing behind them.

They run on and on through the twisting, seemingly never ending tunnels of the cavern (Alright, they run about 10 yards, but the other way sounds so much more dramatic, don't you think?) before coming to the opening with a flashing sign that reads Exit overhead. (It's o.k., you can stop humming the Indy Jones Theme now... no really, the neighbors are starting to complain!)

Later on that day...

"So, what is that thing anyway?" inquired The Tall Man.

"It's the ancient, long sought after, Scepter of Circules, God of Rock!" said Circoid excitedly.

"What's it do?" asked The Short Man.

"It changes your television channel!"

"Wow, can I see it?" Tetragon said.

"I almost got eaten by a Psychosaurus, and we all nearly got crushed by a giant boulder...all for a remote control?!" said The Short Man in a very irritated voice.

"Yes, but this is a special remote control that never needs batteries."

Tetragon attempted to change the T.V. channel, but nothing happened.

"Uh... except for when it does need batteries. Has anyone seen the warranty, by any chance?" Circoid said.

"I think we left it in the Bat Cave." Tetragon said.

"Alright, who's up for paying the Psychosaurus another visit, huh?" Circoid said enthusiastically while the others groan.


The end?

[JirQUEST]

watch your tense shift. it's grating to read when it's so inconsistent.

[king4adaze5]

Thanks jirQUEST, it's good to know what areas I need need to work on when writing.

[Intrinsic]

I liked the grouping on this one.
The way the paragraphs look like rows of corn.
It makes for an interesting read.

[rjd_39]

v gud

[Iggster]

Excellent!! All hail Sir Slushy

[Dark Kitten]

WOW, thats quite an imagination you have there! I loved it, I thought it was well written and quite entertaining... it is rare that I willingly read through something that long without groaning a little on the inside. Great work! Keep it up! ~DK

[Peppy]

This is awesome. It was pleasingly great.