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Old 14-09-2005, 09:46 AM
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The Hidden Truth - Chapter 3

"Jessica, Lindsay, wake up now!" Mrs. Homes replied sternly from the doorway
"Hmm...what time is it?" Jessica asked groggily
"It's 7:45, you have to get up," Mrs. Homes explained, "Get your sister up for me please, I'll have your lunches ready downstairs." Mrs. Homes said walking down the hall
Jessica pulled herself up and looked at the tiny figure of her sister lying next to her.
"Linds, wake up!" Jessica shouted
The young girl complained and then slowly pulled herself to her room. Jessica got ready for school and grabbed her school bag. The girls met up in the hallway and then the both went down the stairs and grabbed their lunches. They quickly thanked their mother for the lunches and said goodbye as they left the house.
"Did you see Daddy today?" Linds asked
"No actually I didn't." Jessica replied looking puzzled
"Maybe he went to work early." Lindsay implied
"Yah, maybe the car is gone, but didn't he say that he didn't have work?" Jessica questioned
"I don't remember, maybe." Lindsay answered
The two girls kept walking thinking deeply of what their dad could be up to.
"Maybe he just had some work to catch up on." Jessica thought to herself
When the girls came to her elementary school, Jessica hugged her and reminded her of the trip to Brent's place after school. Lindsay nodded and ran off towards her friends.
Jessica kept walking towards her high school. Thinking of how badly her father treated her brother. "What happened to them that made their relationship so horrible?" She kept asking herself that question, even if she knew she didn't know the answer.
Lost in her thought, she almost didn't realize that she was near her high school and her boyfriend; Jason Campbell was calling her from the steps.
"Earth to Jessica, are you there?" Jason laughed
"Yes, sorry I got lost in my thoughts." Jessica explained quickly
"Really? I didn't notice" Jason said sarcastically with a sly smile painted on his face
Jessica looked at Jason and simply replied with a fake laugh and a dirty look.
"I'm sorry Hun." Jason apologized kissing her gently
Jessica and Jason have been dating for three years and have been inseparable since the day they met. Jason had dark brown hair and eyes and was 5 inches taller then Jessica, 5'7. Jessica was the envy of many girls because she was dating one of the cutest boys in the school.
"What's wrong babe? You seem distracted." Jason asked in a concerned voice
"Nothing." Jessica sighed
"You could not possibly expect me to believe that when you haven't paid much attention to me." Jason laughed
"Well, my brother came over to see my sister and I last night-" Jessica began to explain when she was cut off
"And that's a bad thing?" Jason asked confused
"No, that's not all, let me finish." Jessica snapped
"Sorry." Jason apologized a little put back by her attitude
"No, I'm sorry," Jessica apologized back, " But see he came when everyone was asleep so he found the key and crashed on the couch. Then my sister couldn't sleep so we went downstairs to make hot chocolate and watch a movie until she fell asleep. That's when we found out that Brent was there. Anyways, we ended up falling asleep on the couch; all three of us, and in the morning my parents found us, and my dad totally lost it on Brent. I don't know why, and I don't know why their relationship got so terrible." Jessica finished out of breath and crying
"Jess, its alright." Jason tried to comfort her.
Jason pulled Jessica close to him and embraced her. He let her cry on his shoulder, telling her that it would be all right, and then simply kissing the top of her head and saying that he had to go to class, left her to go to classes herself.
The morning went by slowly, but when lunch finally came and Jessica came into the cafeteria with one of her friends, Shelby Gull, she was finally smiling when she saw Jason smiling at her.
"Hey Hun, you seem to be in a better mood." Jason smiled pulling Jessica onto his lap
"Yes, much better." Jessica laughed kissing him and acing like her normal self
"Wow! What was that for?" Jason laughed shockingly
"For making me feel better." Jessica explained
"I have to do that more often." Jason laughed and turned to the group
The clan of friends ate their lunch and laughed at each other's jokes and impersonations of some of the teachers. The couple sat together kissing and cuddling things were back to normal.
Sadly, lunch past and it was back to classes. Every once and a while Jessica would see Jason and they'd greet each other with a warm smile.
Soon enough, the day ended and Jessica said goodbye to her friends and Jason. Then walked to Lindsay's school. When the girls met up they began to walk to the address that Brent left behind. After a while they came to the house.
"You knock!" Lindsay demanded
"Alright, Alright." Jessica gave in
She walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. The house was quaint. It was a salmon color with white window pains. There was a flowerbed on either side of the steps that led to the door and the yard was well kept. The door was glass and a white one behind that to match the window frames. Both of the girl's liked it a lot.
Finally, someone came to the door, but it was not their brother, it was a lady around their brother's age.
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Last edited by desiraejones333; 30-09-2005 at 10:04 AM.
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Old 18-12-2005, 01:51 PM
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Re: Untitled - Chapter 3

Using ' Mrs. Homes ' and ' Mr. Homes ' really depersonalizes Jessica and Lindsay's parents, why don't you use their first names? The girls are good hearted, I assume they got that from their parents, so introduce your readers to them so we can be part of the family.

I like the cliff hanger at Brent's house. Wondering where he could be staying.....or who he's staying with!
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Old 02-03-2006, 02:35 AM
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Re: Untitled - Chapter 3

One more chgapter to go...
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Old 17-08-2007, 01:01 AM
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Re: Untitled - Chapter 3

I love your little cliff hangers at the end of each chapter. It's a really fun and playful way to go.

I think this chapter is stronger than chapter 2, but I still feel like I would like to have more information all around about the characters and their settings.
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