[Nupur]

Once there was nothing on earth,
That was before human took birth.
God made the sun, moon and trees,
Flowers, animals, storms and breeze.
“Still something is missing,” he thought,
This was bothering Him a lot.
Man was unhappy, dull and sick,
Then God gave man the gift of friendship.
This made the world so cheerful and bright,
Beauty appeared in every sight.
Friendship was so warm and caring,
It brought out the ability of loving and sharing.
Man was contented and God was too,
The world seemed to be perfect too.
The importance of friendship was understood,
This made everything bright and good.


Wrote this when I was nine. My first 'published' work (School magazine, senior edition).

[Vorcla]

Cute! Even at nine, you were very talented. Thanks for sharing.

[Nupur]

Thank you!

[Phonoho]

Then we grow older and learn the rest of the story, of how this god would have us live our lives like dogs in penitent slumber, forever seeking the good graces of an imperfect master.
But, that's a little too heavy for a 9 yr old.
You did a good job with this; it's bright and warm, but a little too cheerful for my tastes. Congrats on the publication.

[Nupur]

Thank you very much!

[Corneac]

Wow. Very nice...and remember when you were scared of posting? Knob. Nine aye? Beat my present day poetry...hahaha. But serious, impressive flow wise and word-choice...especially for a childer. I mean, because of your age, I can forgive "a lot" and "thought"..."earth", "birth", seems to transcend such a young age. And despite the warmth and fuzziness, it' such an idea, almost abstract.

Which is interesting...as we don't actually grasp, abstract ideas, according to Piaget...til the age of 12. Your a child genius! Well done, and interesting…show's how you've grown. But also the talent...before it was carved and smoothed by age, experience and growth. Raw, and beautiful in it’s own way...I like it.

.

[Nupur]

Thank you very much! Chris commented on my work! At last! YAY!

[colinbaker62]

For me, this illustrates your humanism as a child.





Colin

[Nupur]

Thank you very much.

[Zoidberg]

A heartwarming little poem. And you wrote it when you were nine? Even Better. Good Work.

[Nupur]

Thank you!

[Venomous Vixen]

Wonderful and so untainted... what I loved most about it. It is rare to see something pure from someone older (which makes sense since you were 9 when you wrote this). Much like James said up there, you left out the heavy stuff and left the reader with something light and refreshing. Have you thought of entering this in for the TotM? You have one more day!

[Nupur]

Thanks a lot. I thought about entering this in the TotM, but I already have another entry. I'm glad you liked this one. Thanks.

[in_absentia]

I really enjoyed this one and I'm impressed that it turned out so well when you were nine! I can barely wrap my head around that lol.

Its a very nice piece and I'd certainly love to see more if you have some lying around.

[Nupur]

Thank you very much! I used to write a lot when I was little, so I probably do have more, but I'll have to look for those. Thanks a ton for the amazing comment!

[Rain]

I like this one Nupur, it was really bright and happy(which makes sense because you were 9) and it really was just a nice poem period. Great flow also, (I mean 9!? holy crap! lol)