[Olga Savvidis]

Sir Charles Brooster was an extraordinary cat
who led an extraordinary life
in an extraordinary mansion
run by an extraordinary household...

Lady Frances Finch, so polite and so, so, pink
Lord Thomas Finch, so big and so rich,
Stanley the butler, so tall and so thin
and Sir Charles Brooster, so extraordinary!

Oh yes, yes indeed! Sir Charles Brooster was a most extraordinary cat,
Perfumed and well-combed,
He was pampered day and night
the smart, wise, cool cat
appreciated only the finest cream
which Stanley prepared
in the kitchen downstairs.

Said Stanley, the butler,
"How I hate that fat cat,
he's so crude and so rude,
he never closes his mouth
when he eats, yawns and burps,
he makes my blood boil,
like a pot of hot stew!"

So whilst Stanley's blood boiled,
like a pot of hot stew,
Sir Charles Brooster's paw
pulled the bell with a roar!

"Stanley, you beast!
I'm demanding my feast!
Bring my supper, right now!
I'm so pecking...Miaow!!!!

Poor Stanley, bullied soul,
he was furious and so distraught,
so he painted a picture
to calm down his nerves,
with big, bold, bright blotches
of green, gray and blue,
whilst stirring Sir Charles Brooster's
rich French cream brew.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Huffed Stanley with rage
"How I hate that fat cat,
He's so crude and so rude,
He makes my blood boil,
like a pot of hot stew!"

But Lord and Lady Finch loved Sir Charles Brooster
Lord and Lady Finch adored Sir Charles Brooster
Lord and Lady Finch pampered Sir Charles Brooster
with cushions made of Egyptian silk.

Lord and Lady Finch caressed Sir Charles Brooster
Lord and Lady Finch spoiled Sir Charles Brooster,
Lord and Lady Finch showered Sir Charles Brooster
with sweets, cream and jewels.

As soon as Sir Charles Brooster
had finished his supper
he ordered a tray of sushi with a big tub of wasabi butter and ginger.

"Stanley! You fiend!
Where is my Sushi and tub of wasabi butter and don't forget the ginger!
Bring them to me right now! Do you hear?!
Jump to it, or fear, miaow!"

Poor Stanley was exhausted!
He was seething and so angry!
He felt more like a slave,
than a member of the family.

"Your 'extra' dinner, Master Brooster
you lazy, obnoxious, lazy fat rooster", said Stanley with a wave of his duster.

With a wide, lazy yawn,
Sir Charles inspected his claws,
then elegantly ripped
poor Stanley's smart clothes.

"You silly old fool!!
You're getting wasabi all over my jewels!
Wipe it off right this minute!
Then go and find a hole and jump in it!" snarled Sir Charles Brooster

Oh yes, yes indeed!
Sir Charles Brooster was a fiend!
When he gave a command,
it was obeyed right away!

Dear Stanley, poor soul,
he felt so sad and confused
as he searched for a hole
beyond the high garden wall.

Sir Charles Brooster was so pleased,
with his nasty, cruel deeds,
as he combed his long whiskers,
with a huge cunning grin.

"Oh, you handsome smart fellow
you're so clever, it's unfair!
What a shame you must live
this cat's life with that pair!"

I'm so refined! Dignified!
Noble! Majestic am I!
So bow down and all sigh now!
Praise my elegance but don't touch, miaow!"

Then suddenly, there came,
a most terrible scream,
Sir Charles Brooster ignored it,
and prepared for some sleep.

Lady Finch was so frantic,
she was screaming for her life,
ten nasty black rats
were crawling up her thighs!

"Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak"

"Eeek! Eeek! Eeek! Eeek!" Lady Finch screamed and screamed.

The black rats went crazy!
pinching, biting,
scratching, tickling
Lady Finch's dainty pink feet.

"Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak"

"Oh help me Thomas!!
Sir Charles, help me please!
These ghastly black rats
are now pinching my knees!
Get them off! Get them Off!
Quick! I'm losing my mind!
These beastly black horrors
were not invited to dine!", screamed Lady Finch without messing her hair.

As soon as Lord Finch
heard Lady Finch's loud scream
he quickly rushed in,
like a gale of fierce wind

"Fear not my dear!
I'll catch those brutes,
Then I'll whack them and thump them
and hit them with a broom!" shouted Lord Finch.

Poor Lady Finch
screamed and screamed, screamed and screamed
till her false teeth bounced
out of her mouth and into a bin!

"Oh help me! Oh Help Me!!
Sir Charles Help me please!!
Those horrid black rats
have made me lose all of my teeth!!"

Sir Charles Brooster couldn't be bothered,
to chase after a rat,
he was a cat of a mansion
and not a mere house.

There far more important things,
which he had to do now,
he had to feast on more double whipped cream,
stretch his back, lick his lips
comb his fur, sleep and dream.

By this time,
the divine extraordinary mansion,
was in a divine extraordinary mess!!

Lady Finch was screaming
in the mansion's Green room,
Lord Finch was in the closet
searching for a broom,
Stanley was still searching
for a deep, dark, damp hole,
whilst Sir Charles was dreaming
of chocolate rum balls!

And would you believe it!
Right out of the blue
a filthy, cheerful street cat, called Fred
came passing through

As soon as he heard
lady Finch's loud scream
he said good-bye to the street,
it was an adventure, he'd meet!

In no time at all,
Fred leaped over the wall,
got rid of the rats
with the flick of his paw.

Lady Finch was so grateful!
So excited, she trilled!
She kissed the brave cat,
and fed him sweet milk.

Whilst Fred sipped his drink
with relish and glee
he heard a loud cry
and a most frantic plea!

"I'm locked in the closet,
down the hall, help me please!
I have to save my dear wife
from those horrid black beasts!" yelled Lord Finch

With one swift, smart pull,
of the locked, closet door,
Lord Finch was set free
and oh my, was he pleased!

"Stanley, dear boy
where are you? Come Quick!
Go seek out Sir Charles
Remove all of his things:
his bow-tie and jewels
his cushions made of silk,
and then throw him over the wall
and into the street", ordered Lord Finch.

Stanley was joyous!
So happy to oblige
he certainly took Sir Charles Brooster
by surprise!

"GULP!"

He picked him up by the tail,
looked him right in the eye
and threw him over the wall
without a last good-bye

And as time went by...

Mr. Fred was an extraordinary cat,
who lived in an extraordinary mansion
run by an extraordinary, happy household.


c. 2005 Olga Savvidis

[The Druid]

excellent stuff

[Olga Savvidis]

Many thanks for your kind words and encourangement. I had a ball writing it!

Originally Posted by kota kartik

excellent stuff