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Old 28-04-2005, 09:02 PM
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Ship in a Bottle

Granddad has an old glass dome
From way back when he used to roam
Inside the glass dome is a ship
How it got there, did he let slip

He was marooned upon a shore
His shipwrecked vessel was no more
This all happened in his young day
In a kingdom far far away

He found himself upon the sands
With his head down in his hands
Murmering sadly to himself "Why me?"
He looked up and was surpised to see

A length of silk upon the floor
In a puff of smoke it was no more
All this happened in such a flash
Then on the sands there lay a sash

From that sash there grew and grew
A genie who stood with turned up shoe
"Wymee," he told him "is my name."
"To grant you one wish is my aim."

He rubbed his eyes but Wymee was still there
All Granddad could do was stare and stare
The genie spoke and broke his trance
He suddenly realised this was his chance

He told Wymee what had gone before
And that his vessel was no more
That he would dearly like to be
At home with his wife and family

But how could granddad possibly travel
Wymee knew how and did unravel
From silken scarves a bottle so small
Inside it was a ship, that is all

"Say magic words and off you'll go
Over the seas to the land that you know,
When you have done, say them once more,
The ship will return to its own magic shore."

In an instant he was back at home
Repeating the words still wet from the foam
Granddad was brought back by the tiny ship
Which returned to its bottle after the trip
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Old 06-05-2005, 11:10 PM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

aww thats too cute
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Old 13-08-2005, 04:02 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

Ye, family hapiness! ^^
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Old 17-08-2005, 02:24 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

Heya hon. Just have a couple of things as usual

"How it got there he let slip" - How it got there, did he let slip

"In a kingdom far away" - In a kingdom far far away

"Murmering to himself "Why me?- - Murmuring coldly ((or another descriptive word here)) to himself "Why me?"

"All this happened in a flash" - All this happened in such a flash

"The genie spoke and broke granddad's trance" - ...broke his trance...

"Inside it was a ship that's all" - ...ship, that is all...

"When you have done say them once more" - ...have done, say them...

- Wonderful poem my dear. A great synopysis for such an item. Very imaginative ^.^ -
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Old 25-08-2005, 07:17 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

done that thanks ry.
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Old 28-03-2006, 03:10 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

Wow. I felt like I was somewhere else when I read this.
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Old 28-03-2006, 04:24 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

Very effective representation and expression. I did enjoy this. As another postee said, it kind of takes you on the journey..
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Old 28-03-2006, 08:21 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

Wow, awesome. But you know i was reading some of the suggestions rk told you to make, an i really think some of your were better. oh well. Great work.
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Old 28-03-2006, 04:50 PM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

My suggestions were merely suggestions to help the rhythm, help the words flow smoother - not to change the poem (which I don't think they did)
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Old 29-03-2006, 06:43 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

hey i wasnt knocking your suggestions. Don't get antsy in me here. They were good too only i think some of them went better with the poem and some of them didnt.
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Old 29-03-2006, 04:05 PM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

Lovely. Glorious. Superlative. Fantabulous!

My nephews also approve!

7 year old Mason wants to know if you can do that with an airplane next, please....
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Last edited by Evrviglnt; 29-03-2006 at 04:07 PM.
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Old 30-03-2006, 11:07 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

thanks everyone....tell Mason i will work on it..
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Old 01-04-2006, 04:01 AM
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Re: Ship in a Bottle

so adorable !
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