[lhanley]

The Bird

Morning
I wake up in the morning what do I see?
A bird flying to the kitchen door
HELP!
Has it come to eat me up for dinner?
Or has it come to fly me to school?
Or does it need my help?
I am full of questions that need answers
Can you answer them?

Lunch time
I eat my lunch happily but their above me is the bird
HELP!
Is that bird following me?
Does he want to eat me for lunch?
Has he had his dinner?
Why can't you answer questions?
Can anyone answer them?

Afternoon
Look here comes father John but with the same bird
HELP!
Why is that bird following me?
Does he have to be like a shadow?
Will he always follow me?
Why can't anyone answer my questions?
Can father John answer them?

very good effort indeed. Well done ! Colin

[rjd_39]

humourous

[Ryankia]

The Bird

Morning
I wake up in the morning and what do I see?
A bird flying to the kitchen door
HELP!
Has it come to eat me up for dinner?
Or has it come to fly me to school?
Or does it need my help?
I am full of questions that need answers
Can you answer them? This question just seems a little off. I suppose this is an interactive poem. Perhaps have it say instead. "Do you know the answer?"

Lunch time
I eat my lunch happily but there, above me, sits the bird I am not sure that "happily" is the best word to use here.
HELP!
Is that bird following me?
Does he want to eat me for lunch?
Has he had his dinner?
Why can’t you answer questions?
Can anyone answer them? Again, I mentioned this above so this is just to point it out.

Afternoon
Look here comes father John but with the same bird This line didn't flow like the first lines of the previous stanzas. Just a little off, though I realize this poem doesn't necessarily stay true to any set pattern, but there was an unknowingly good pattern being formed in the first two and it just kinda stopped in this line.
HELP!
Why is that bird following me?
Does he have to be like a shadow?
Will he always follow me?
Why can’t anyone answer my questions?
Can father John answer them? "Do you know the answer Father John?"

Very good overall! Just a few hiccoughs here and there, but once some things are adjusted, it will be nearly perfect!

Childrens poems are hard to write because you are trying to write something that would be understood by children, but are also trying to make it understood by everyone else. If you know what I mean ....

I thought you did an alright job.