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Old 12-10-2005, 09:38 AM
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Children's Dreams

Tick tick
Tock tock
The clock, the clock
Goes knockity knock

Seconds to minutes
And minutes to hours
The hands stir on
Children are being sour

Off off
Onwards fly
To calm the sound
Ringing through the sky

Through the tall
O'er the small
We leap and skip,
And soar above all

Look look
See see
The children are up
Listen to their scream

Hurry hurry
Rush rush
Sing a sweet song
Get rid of the fuss

Doze doze
Rest rest
The children are tired
So sleep your best

Fast slow
Slow fast
We leap and skip
Home to sleep atlast

On on
Offwards fly
We calmed the sound
Ringing through the sky

Seconds to minutes
Minutes to hours
The hands spin on
No children being sour

Tick tick
Tock tock
The clock, the clock
Goes knockity knock

Last edited by Dala Isyrias; 27-11-2007 at 05:40 AM.
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Old 28-10-2005, 03:41 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

That is a great chirpy, children's poem nice one ryankia. It skipped as it should!
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Old 28-10-2005, 03:44 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Ha ha, that was quite good, i mean im not really into those type of poems but i enjoyed that one.
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Old 31-12-2005, 04:52 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

I love children's poems and this is indeed a very good one in my book. Now where did I put that book ?
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Old 01-01-2006, 01:57 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

I liked the rythm and rhyme but why are the children hollering and screaming...it seemed to hint that the poem was two faced.
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Old 04-01-2006, 12:38 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

I loved it. I went to see an award winning children's poet at my university and she read her poems to us. I can honestly say yours was better than a lot of the ones she read. It was honest, funny and so lively. No child would get bored reading it and I must confess neither was this adult. That was a great piece of work. Keep it up.
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Old 28-03-2006, 03:53 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Lol - glad everyone enjoyed it. I can honestly say, very little work went into this piece but I did later fix a couple of wording issues when I thought about seriously posting it.

~blushes~ Again, thanks for the wonderful comments
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Old 28-03-2006, 11:05 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

I can see how this would work. People think that writing for children is easy. Did you ever see the episode of Black Books where they tried to write a children's book?
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Old 28-03-2006, 11:52 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

No - but I have always enjoyed children's stories and poems. I never really ever tried to write them but I might try and focus on that aspect a bit more. Stretch my ideals/talents out side of my normal box
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Old 16-05-2006, 03:32 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Ooo so cute! And good symmetry from beginning to end.
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Old 30-08-2006, 02:23 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

That was alot of fun to read. It really is a good children's poem.
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Old 30-08-2006, 02:34 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Children's Dreams

The only thing I found to critique...

"No sound do children holler"
seems to have a little interruption on flow due to number of beat change.

Other than that, I absolutely loved it. I really like the upbeat funloving type poems instead of everything being so serious.
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Old 02-09-2006, 02:26 PM
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Cool Re: Children's Dreams

this was a nice poem. Good job.
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Old 02-09-2006, 04:13 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

good job, already sounds like a classic
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Old 09-12-2006, 03:43 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

I was trying to to find a poem to read to my four year old niece and stumbled across this one. She loved it! I wonder what it is about his type of lyrical quality and rhythm that appeals to children so much?

Last edited by Corneac; 10-12-2006 at 12:18 AM.
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Old 04-03-2007, 03:47 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Oh, I just loved this. Inspired me to try my hand at a poem for children. I have a feeling that writing poetry for children will have the affect of bringing a little of the magic of childhood back into the writer of the poem.
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Old 08-03-2007, 04:13 AM
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Thumbs up Re: Children's Dreams

Enchanting and filled with much Particulars as are the lives of children. What is the rule of repeating when writing any poem even if they are for children too?
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Old 01-06-2007, 03:19 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

hello,
IT is "childishly" beautiful, I just like it ! something like tictoc ryhtm that reminds us of our childish interests games and laughs when we were still kids. Good job Ryankia
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Old 07-06-2007, 01:48 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

its good i love it
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Old 16-06-2007, 06:21 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

First of all I think it's very cute I like it a lot. Very appropriate for teaching to kids in kindergarten, it sounds like a lot of fun
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Old 07-07-2007, 05:35 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

this is really good! would have no qualms reading this to children, better than most published childrens writers! Dances along at a great pace and has great variation in sound to keep a child interested, plus useful for making funny noises at them! great work.
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Old 05-10-2007, 04:26 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Wow! I had no idea people loved it so much. Maybe I should be bored at a job I hate more often! ~wonders about the stickiness of the thread~
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Old 05-10-2007, 04:29 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Quote:
~wonders about the stickiness of the thread~
It's the "example" if you will of the section....and what a great one it is. Welcome back.
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Old 05-10-2007, 04:31 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Ooo, I feel special and important. ~puffs out chest with pride~

Thank you
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Old 17-10-2007, 05:39 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Awesome poem. I really love the way it rhymes. It is very musical. Great poem. I have seen your other poems as well. It appears you are a natural poet.
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Old 17-10-2007, 05:47 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Wow I enjoyed this one as well! The close proximity of the rhyme did not even turn me off but rather rolled right off my tongue in a very upbeat tempo. I can picture little kids skipping and reciting this one. Nice work! (and great color selection).
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Old 17-10-2007, 08:07 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

~grins~ Glad you all enoyed it!
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Old 20-10-2007, 01:38 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Definitely can picture little kids jumping around. As for the hollering and screaming, isn't that what children do?

Good one, Shara
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Old 20-10-2007, 02:22 PM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Hehe. Me too. I love them. I really need to write more pieces centering around them lol
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Old 22-10-2007, 07:03 AM
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Re: Children's Dreams

Aw, cute. It's exactly what a children's poem should be, it's charming and has bounce. I agree with Syrah though, that line "no sound do children holler" messes with the flow, which until then was great. The repetition also works really well, adding to that bouncy quality. Great!
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