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Old 15-02-2007, 03:28 PM
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Do you know what I despise most?
The mightiest sin from coast to coast,
It's not when children disobey morals,
Nor is when they get into quarrels,

It's most repugnant above all others,
That if I did possess my druthers,
That every child you practised it,
Would be killed lickety split,

I now honestly implore to you,
The evils that some children do,
Children should be seen, not heard,
For silence is always preferred,

Nowadays children do get away,
With screaming and such disarray,
They cry and yell, shriek and shout,
Some even have the nerve to pout!

Their words carry across the room,
Unjustly, spared from their doom,
They act as if they rule the world,
Their wickedness, all but unfurled,

They complain about lack of treats,
Having tantrums "I want sweets!"
They argue, whine, act like brats,
Violent and worse of all combats,

But dear parents do not distress,
When disciplining to no success,
There is hope within this verse,
Please take notice as I coerce,

When the little offender has retired,
When plans are set, alls conspired,
On the trachea make an incision,
With silent, surgeon-like precision,

With a sweeping single motion,
Now take notice of this notion,
Gut his throat, in goes your hand,
Out comes their voice box, understand?

When children can no longer speak,
They're angelic, quiet and meek,
When no sound can they convey,
Morals and actions won't go astray,

So parents and children do regard,
Your offspring shall not be scarred,
It is for the worlds greater good,
Should you? Of course you should,

It you still have your nagging doubts,
To rid the world of these noisy louts,
You should act now without hesitation,
So they can learn sign communication,
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Last edited by Corneac; 03-04-2007 at 10:00 PM.
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Old 16-02-2007, 01:54 PM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

My wife is a daycare owner and has been for many years. How she handles it day, after day, after day, I do not know. Somehow, she does it well, and without surgical cutting tools, and no blood, as you did here. I'll tell you this - if a random parent found out that their child had read or heard this poem recited to them at daycare, then there would be Hell to pay and the state of Texas to answer to. Some parents are just that way. This past Halloween she had to remove all of her elaborate decorations because a mother complained and called the state, spoiling it for the rest of the kids. That was just plain mean.
A little more Insane Clown Posse than Hannibal Lector, kinda' Peter Pan with the bloodless gutting and all. Still, a bit strong for preschoolers because, as a kid, I really liked knives.
This would make a great Halloween podcast, if done with an animated voice, maybe a pirate.
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Last edited by Phonoho; 16-02-2007 at 09:25 PM.
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Old 18-02-2007, 06:07 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

Nice poem Corneac, but I wondering if you remember the fact you were once one of those screaming kids =P

The poem itself however is nicely written...but I am wondering what the heck druthers is? I really have no clue
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Old 18-02-2007, 06:21 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

Druthers: noun the right or chance to choose
Example: "Given my druthers, I'd eat cake

Thanks Odanion...your comments are always really appreciated...
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Old 18-02-2007, 07:17 PM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

I just enjoy reading your work, and thanks for druthers...cool word I need to use it
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Old 18-02-2007, 07:22 PM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

Thanks Odanion... It is a cool word isn't it...?
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Old 20-02-2007, 08:32 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

Druthers -- dialect, derived from "I'd rather . . " going to "d' ruther", then turning into a noun. Great word.

It does have a great ghoulish feel to it -- in the Roald Dahl, or Edward Gorey tradition. Occasionally you are scanting on the appropriate sense of a word in its context, just to get a rhyme word. This works in semi-nonsense -- like in Kipling's "Just So Tales," which of course aren't rhyming poems -- but I think this poem needs more precision. Other choices will come to you for "coerce," for example, or "unfurled".

Did you think about setting it to music?
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Old 20-02-2007, 11:32 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

Thanks...yes sometimes I am a slave to the rhyme...lol. No I don't plan to put this to music, it was more of just a bit of fun. Thanks for your suggestions mate...
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Old 21-02-2007, 12:08 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

yes, very well written. Enjoyable to read.

I hate kids.

I need to get off this computer and know what it feels like to walk again.
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Old 21-02-2007, 05:50 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

Enjoyable read..

Colin
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Old 21-02-2007, 07:15 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

Thanks Dunc and Colin...lol

Take a walk, mate, take a walk,
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Old 24-05-2007, 01:59 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

been a while since anyone commented here but I'm new and just read it. I am a mother of three very loud active children. My oldest is autistic and makes random noise at the wrong times just for fun I think. At first I thought this was one of those let your children guide the way poems. But cutting the children up to get your peace and quiet images were so disturbing I decided to embrace the noise until they leave my head! So I guess it was inspiring in a reverse psycology way.
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Old 24-05-2007, 02:22 AM
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Re: Advisory Verses for Naughty Children; Such Noise!

I wish I could do that to all children. Ahahhah... Good suggestion.. If I ever have children, i know what to do... Lets hope not, since they have to go for surgery and stuff.... Lol.
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