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Re: Sleep (Epilogue)
So, I edited most of this (not all, but most) and realized that you've advanced quite a lot as a writer. Congratulations, the improvement is wonderful! You asked me to leave you with a couple of thuoghts and since I suck at commenting outside of my editing, I figured I'd start self improvement here. I honestly didn't care for how the story ended. The mugger coming out and the brash horrid way in which Trey was beaten seemed unrealistic. If the guy didn't want him talking, he would have just shot Trey right there. Granted, I understand the self-guilt involved with murder and how if you beat someone into retardation you may be able to sleep at night mental complex but still...it was just unsatisfying as a reader. However, I also understand your reasons for doing so. Kind of the whole "life is irrelevant and nothing really matters" ideology, and I applaud you for taking such a bold stance as an author. Didn't care for it, but respect your decision still.
Over all though EP, a great job. There was enough action and suspense to keep the reader entrigued and you pulled it off very well. Oh, and I really really hate to mention this, but I know I said something about it at the very beginning. It's "Roanoke". SORRY! Congratulations on sucessfully finishing a great story!
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It's all just tinsel. Under the spotlights, everything sparkles.
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Re: Sleep (Epilogue)
Quote:
Quote:
I TRY to do that. ^_^ Well, in a GOOD way I try to do that.
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"People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished." -Final Fantasy VII |
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Re: Sleep (Epilogue)
Haha, never write just to appease your audience.
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It's all just tinsel. Under the spotlights, everything sparkles.
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Re: Sleep (Epilogue)
I write to piss 'em off.
__________________
"People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished." -Final Fantasy VII |
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Re: Sleep (Epilogue)
BAM.
I'm writing Part two. Maybe you'll be satisfied with the way IT ends? Maybe not. I'm gonna try to pull off an unpredictable ending, so we'll have to see. I myself don't even know how it's going to end! I just wanted to write in that universe some more so I'm kind of freelancing. ^_^ I don't know how long it will be or what will happen, so I'm pretty excited myself to see how it'll turn out. Thanks again for reading my story! I know it was long, and you didn't read ALL of it, but thank you anyway!
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"People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished." -Final Fantasy VII |
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Re: Sleep (Epilogue)
Well, that makes me want to read about the next part of the story. But I'll save it for a rainy day or something.
Hmmmmm...I dunno what else to say. I feel like I've been tapped. Congratulations on finishing a story. Most people don't have the discipline to finish, but you came through. BRB, maybe.
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Re: Sleep (Epilogue)
lol.
Not even close to being done with part two, and as far as I know right now, it sucks. >_< You might wanna make up your own ending and leave it at that.
__________________
"People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished." -Final Fantasy VII |
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