[Wordsmyth]

Synopsis: The Man takes a walk to get away from the stiffs at work only to run into more.


What a wonderful day, the man thought to himself while walking briskly down the street.

It was early evening, the time he always took his daily walk. It was chilly and a little damp, but the man didn't mind. He actually preferred this type of weather, but what he really liked was not being cooped up as he usually was at work. He had to get away from everyone there once in a while; he worked with a lot of stiffs and sometimes it got a little boring. He was ready for what the evening ahead had in store for him.

************************

"Damn, another stoplight!" shouted Anton to no one.

He had been stopped at the last three stoplights and he really shouldn't be in this part of town. If certain people saw him here, he'd be in trouble for sure. He'd had a run in with a few of the thugs in the neighborhood and wasn't exactly welcome. It wasn't like he could keep a low profile - everyone knew his metallic purple Cadillac, lowered with the gold rims, and if that wasn't enough, the bass thumping in his trunk wasn't exactly subtle.

At least he had a little entertainment while he was sitting here. Anton was watching the man walking toward the intersection. He thought it was strange the way the man was just strolling quickly down the road in his dark blue suit as if he was headed for church, but it was Thursday. Who went to church on Thursday?

The man walked on heading straight across the street. Anton looked up and saw the "Don't walk" sign light up just after the man had stepped off the curb. It didn't seem to bother the man; he just kept walking along as if he didn't have a care in the world. Just as the man stepped in front of Anton's Caddy, the light turned green.

Anton couldn't believe the man just walking out in front of him like that, so he laid on the horn. If he was expecting to scare the man, he was dead wrong. The man just stopped and turned slightly, looking at Anton. The man then lifted his hand and smiled.

"My apologies," the man said.

Anton leaned out the window and told the man, "If you don't get your ass out of my way I'll run it over and then you'll be a lot more sorry."

The smile on the man's face stayed where it was but his bright blue eyes turned icy cold. The man put his hand to his forehead in a kind of half salute saying, "I'll see you soon". Anton just sat there watching the man step up on the curb until the car behind him honked. Anton flipped the driver off, put his foot down and sped on through the intersection. "Screw you old man," he said to himself.

**************************

God, I'm already late, Sylvia thought to herself as she waited in line at the Quickie Mart. If this guy doesn't hurry I'm going to miss my bus.

Sylvia was relieved when she was finally able to get out of the store. Maybe I'll make it yet, she thought. As soon as she walked out of the door, three teenage boys ran right into her and knocked her and everything she was carrying to the ground. Without saying a word, they just laughed and walked into the store.

"Just wonderful," Sylvia said and began picking up her things. As she looked up, she saw a man in a blue suit walking towards her. Oh great, she thought. He's headed this way, this is just what I need right now, some homeless guy bothering me.

But as the man got closer, she noticed that his suit was too nice for him to be homeless and he had a very warm and pleasant smile on his face.

"May I help?" he said as he bent down and started picking things up for her.

"Thank you very much, that is so kind of you," Sylvia replied.

After everything was picked up and Sylvia was putting everything back into the bag, the three teenagers came out of the store.

"Excuse me young men," the man said, "but I believe you owe this young lady here an apology."

The three boys looked at the man and started laughing. The biggest of the three took a step forward and looked at the man with his best tough guy face and said, "The bitch was in our way and she got what she deserved, if you don't move, you'll get worse."

Sylvia watched all of this and was starting to get worried. "It's really ok sir," she said to the man, "They didn't hurt me or anything."

"Very well," the man said with his ever present smile still on his face. "Move right along," he said as he stepped out of the way.

"Maybe you'll remember your lesson next time, old man," the big kid said as they walked past, bumping the man a little.

"Oh yes, I'll remember," said the man. "I'll see you three again soon."

The three teenagers ran and jumped on the bus just as it was about to leave.

"Oh great," Sylvia said, "now I've missed my bus."

"My apologies," said the man. "You don't want to be on that bus any way."

"Oh, it's not your fault," Sylvia said, "but now I'm going to be late for class."

"I'm sure it will be ok. There will be another bus along shortly," the man said, smiling. He had decided that he would keep her company while she waited for the next bus and sat down beside her on the bench.

"So where are you going to school? "

"I'm just taking some classes down at the community college," Sylvia replied. "I'm trying to give my daughter a better life than the one I've had."

"That's wonderful," the man said. "It's nice to see a beautiful young lady like you trying to make something of herself."

They continued speaking together for a little while and Sylvia thought it was so strange that she felt comfortable enough with this total stranger to tell him so much. Maybe it was just his willingness to listen, but Sylvia felt it was more than that.

"Ahh, here comes your bus I believe," the man said, rising from the bench. "It was delightful meeting you."

"Thank you very much for your help back there, and it was nice meeting you also," Sylvia said. "Maybe I'll see you around."

"Oh no," said the man, "I'm sure it will be a long time before we meet again, bye bye now," said the man as he was walking away.

Sylvia watched him walk away as if he didn't have a care in the world. What a strange man, she thought to herself as she got on the bus.


**************************

The man continued walking for a couple of blocks more and stopped for a bite to eat before finally deciding it was time to return to his office.

As he walked in, he saw his assistant going over some papers. "Do I have any customers waiting?" he said to his assistant.

"Yes you do, Mr. Scruggs; you have four of them waiting for you. It seems there was a bus crash a couple blocks away. Some guy in a purple Caddy ran a red light and slammed right into the middle of a bus. He didn't make it and it killed the only three passengers on the bus. The bus driver made it out with out a scratch. The other four are burned pretty badly."

"My, my," said the man. "Some people will never learn. Well I guess I better get to work."

The assistant heard the old man say something as he closed his door that said: Anthony Scruggs - Funeral Director. He could have sworn he heard him say, "See I told you we would meet again."


THE END

[JirQUEST]

interesting concept. but after finishing it, i feel like something is missing. maybe it's because there was a lack of connection with the main character. have u thought of expanding this story, maybe create more life for anthony scruggs?

[Peppy]

Now that's wierd. Mr. Scruggs must be psychic or death himself. Hmmmmmm...

[Hagetaka]

Excellent job with the characterization on "Mr. Scruggs". It seems ala Twilight Zone, and well played. Though, as I was reading, I found something that kinda threw me off.

“That’s wonderful,” the man said. “It’s nice to see a beautiful young lady like you trying to make something of herself.”

“I must be going now," the man said, rising from the bench. "But it was delightful meeting you.”

There is a strange shift in conversation there. Perhaps you should try to transition a little more, instead of jumping right into "Oh, I gotta leave". Also... this is just nitpicking, but its easy enough to fix:

...“Don’t walk” sign light up just after the man had stepped of the curb.

Shouldnt that have had of been "off"? Heh, sorry.. it was actually the first thing i noticed, but its no biggie. Oh yeah, nice useage of foreshadowing in "Who went to church on Thursday?" Good job, overall.

[Wordsmyth]

Thank you Hagetaka. What you said about the transistion there absolutely makes sense. See if it sounds any better now.

You're right that should have been OFF not OF.

Thanks its been fixed.

[Hagetaka]

Much better. Glad to help.

[Elvisceration]

Really liked that. K, if we can be nitpicky "Damn another stoplight" needs a comma after the damn. I'm only pinting that out 'cos there were so few errors in it and that stuck out! If we did that with half the stories here we'd end up writing a grammar textbook! There's something anachronistic about the name "Anthony Scruggs"- kinda Dickensian- that makes me want him to be in a comic book. Like an agent of karmic retribution-maybe a spin on a superhero!
Oh, as a limey, do you really have Quickie Marts in the US? Is that what the Kwik-E-Mark on the Simpsons is a pastiche of?

[Wordsmyth]

THank you....FIxed. Yes we do have them and they are exactly like the one in the simpsons. Most of them anyway.

[BookWhale***]

it's cool - i like it. proves karma is gonna kick u in the butt if you are rude enough

[Ambrose]

I like the ending a lot. The story kept me guessing the whole way through. I was expecting "the man" to be a spirit, or death incarnate, or something. Anyways, the narration was fantastic. You were able to connect the lives of these different individuals in an efficient but nonetheless convincing way. The only thing that seemed to mar what otherwise is a great story is the dialogue. Some of the interactions between characters felt overly simplified, or just weird. For example, the conversation that Mr. Scruggs has with the lady at the Quikimart seems sort of awkward and irrelevant. Mind you though, it definitely works.

[Tongo]

I guessed "Grim Reaper" all the way through. Turned out I was wrong. What more can I ask of a mystery? I want to say it should be longer, but I can't for the life of me think how that could be achieved, other than deeper characterization, and that would probably interfere with the pace of the whole story. I do agree that the dialogue is a little stilted though, especially with the shopper. Superb.

[Wordsmyth]

Thank you Tongo, I do appreciate that. I'm glad you enjoyed it. This was actually the first story I wrote. I hope I've improved a little since then.

[DarkStar]

Now that is a story I liked. Not much else I could improve on this, so yeah, that's it. I say you are pretty good.

Though I would like to see more. The ending has been left quite a bit open, so I would say that there's a lot that you could do to expand it.

Other than that, it's good.

[kduchice]

Picking up on a previous post... so is this guy psychic or something? or does Death/God just have a day job as a funeral director? Did I miss something?

Good narration, but this part kind of threw me off:

“I’m sure it will be ok. There will be another bus along shortly,” the man said, smiling. He had decided that he would keep her company while she waited for the next bus and sat down beside her on the bench.

All of a sudden we're inside this old man's head. We know what he's thinking. It brought me out of the story a little... you had been so consistent all along with keeping the thoughts of this old man a mystery, that when you add this, it kinda blows all that away. Keep it consistent. Don't let us know what the old man's thinking at one particular instant.

[Wordsmyth]

Thank you both for your comments.

kduchice,

That part was actualy added at a later point because someone pointed out that there really wasn't a transition between scenes. I see your point but I like it this way better than it was originaly.

[Pennywise]

Good...work on the character discription

[bloodystargirl]

Oh man that was good, but you left your readers hanging in a sense. It would be great to get a better description of the man in the dark blue suit, or how he knew what was about to happen.

[Aleox]

That was very good, throughout the story I was wondering what the man in the suit could be.....at first I thought it might be some kind of angel(loving heart, smile on face, helping women), but a funeral director was a good choice too. I also felt a little something was missing, maybe a little more description, a more complete ending, not sure, but still a great story.

[RENA HANDS]

Caddilac is that the proper spelling?

Cadillac is the brand name of a vehicle owned by General Motors.

Instead of repeating ‘Anton,’ twice…why not say…

so he laid on the horn. ?

Though two other ‘HE’s follow it just seems more flowing.

How can one ‘pick up everything’ then Sylvia ‘put everything back into the bag,’ at the same time or different time?

You have a spacing error after…

you’ll get worse.

Possibly a few missed *******after…

she got on the bus.

If not then it’s a spacing error.

Have I not read, commented on this write before? Well many, many apologies for the lateness of my response. It is indeed a delightful tale, twist of fate. There is always room for more imagery/action I think, but the subtleness works too.

My rate 3/5!