[Razor]

Synopsis: The last battle for a kingdom.



The coalition of clans and nations still not under my control came against us with everything they had left. It was the pinnacle in this long and horrible campaign. I knew our numbers were similar, and as I had calculated, my lines were stretched thin.

However, the worst was yet to come. The remaining resistance had one more trick of their sleeves. A regiment, bolstered by a group of frost giants, had circled our flanks unseen. Once they were behind our lines, the regiment fell upon my encampment guarded only by Giath and the Fearless Faithful. We were out-numbered two to one, and that was without counting the frost giants. I still wonder to this day what they had to promise those frost giants to gain their aid.

Regardless, the Fearless Faithful never faltered or hesitated. They would gladly lay down their lives for Giath, who would gladly lay down his life for mine.

My lines stretched thin; my camp surrounded; I believed my conquest was at its end, but Giath and his Fearless Faithful had one more miracle left. I fought side to side and back to back with Giath on more than on occasion during the fray. He was awe-inspiring to watch. His men were worthy of their legend, felling three enemies before they themselves fell. If our enemies had not included giants, I dare say we would have won outright, but the giants were killing three Fearless Faithfuls before one would fall.

With the tide of the battle tilting in our enemies favor, Giath led a charge that broke through their encirclement. He bested a giant evenhandedly in the charge, but it cost him the use of one arm. Then the chase was on. We lead them into a series of caves until we found a spot they couldn’t use their numbers against us. On they came, until all that was left was I, Giath, and a handful of the Fearless Faithful.

Their side still numbered in the twenties with frost giants to spare, and I could barely raise my sword. I was ready to admit defeat and appeal to any mercy they were willing to offer, but Giath wouldn’t allow it. He still had to protect me; it was his duty; it was his appointed task. With a roar to the heavens, Giath led his handful of men forward.

I tried to stop them, but they had reached the enemy and were already hacking and slashing their way through, I ran in behind moved by their courage and undying determination. I watched Giath break through and charge into the horde of giants beyond, my breath caught in my throat. I surged forward to stop him, cutting and hacking at anything that stood in my way, to at least be there with him when he fell. Around me the last of the Fearless Faithful did the same, but we couldn’t break through in time.

Death waited for him among the giants with open arms, and Giath, while slow, knew it, but accepted Death’s embrace. If he had fresh legs and the use of both arms, I doubt it would have made any difference, even still he fell two of the beasts and left his blade in a third before they beat off the frenzied man. We had finally broken through, when Giath fell. There was only three of us left, but we charged in finishing the third and hacking down another before we heard shouts from behind.

Some of my troops had broken off to help, and now the giants were the ones looking to escape. As they turned tail and ran, I kept my comrades from following. I was more worried about the man that lay crumpled at my feet. I gingerly rolled the behemoth of a man over. I had never realized the full extent of his strength and size until then. I was joined by the last two of the Fearless Faithful. We three huddled around this incredible man brimming with tears and anxiety.

I realized he was still breathing, though his time was surely numbered from his cut and mangled body. The younger of the two beside me began yelling for our healer, for someone to fetch our healer. I heard several men take off to find him. Giath looked up at me and I saw the question in his eyes.

“Yes, I’m safe, you’ve protected me yet again ole friend.” My face was hot and tears tugged at my eyes. I grabbed his hand and squeezed, he squeezed back, but it was so weak I barely felt it.

“You have to hold on Giath, you have to!” The young man was grappling at his clothing as if he could somehow keep Death from taking him.

Giath merely looked over and smiled that simple smile that said he knew his time was up. The young man broke into tears.

“No, you can do it, I know you can. You can do anything, Giath, anything. Just hold on for a little bit more, alright? Just a little bit more, and then Sora will be here and he’ll fix you. He’ll make you better!”

It was gut wrenching to watch, and then Giath’s searching eyes found mine and I smiled my best smile as tears began to sting my eyes.

“I owe you so much my…” I had to stop or my voice was going to break. I took in some deep breathes trying to gain enough composer to make it through my goodbye. “My friend. My life, my land, my success have all been built upon your large sturdy shoulders.” My voice cracked, but I kept going I didn’t have any time to spare. “Thank you for all that you have done for me, I will never forget any of it. Now rest, my friend, close your eyes and rest. Your duty is done.”

The youthful man started yelling.

“NO! NO, keep your eyes open you have to stay awake until Sora gets here. I’m sure he’s on his way.” Giath’s eyes slid shut. “NO!”

He grabbed Giath by the mail and tried to shake him awake. The other Fearless Faithful corralled him and pulled him off, but still the young man fought, sobs overtaken his body.

Then Giath breathed his last breath and was no more. I felt the dam within me break and the tears streamed down and I was gripped by a horrible ache in the very marrow of my bones. I shook with sobs, while the young man was silent, and then he looked up at me with his blotched face, tears having worked a river through the dirt on his face.

“Why did you tell him to rest, to close his eyes and give up?”

“Because, I didn’t want him to be unable to follow the last order I gave him.” I looked down and smiled despite the ache and tears; for on his face was a content smile, simple and heart wrenching.

By the time the Sora arrived, we had said our goodbyes and prepared him to be moved. I lead the progression back to my encampment. In all honesty, I don’t remember much else about the battle, other than we won. I dare say, I would have traded it for Giath, but he wouldn’t have let me. He was slow, but even he saw there was peace to be had in a unified land.

We laid his body to rest in the royal courtyard along other comrades from my conquest. Too many friends lay there, but I visit them often and thank them each time. I waver on his grave more than the others, and tell him about what is going on in the court or if something is bothering me, and I’m sure he listens from somewhere with that simple half-smile slowly taking in everything I say.

There are statues erected of him and songs sung, but I felt as though his story needs to be written to give him even an ounce of the gratitude he so deeply deserves. Even this cannot capture the full essence of the man it is about, but even if it is by only a fraction, I feel it must be written.

King Warren Gurant, in the age of the White Swan 1245.

[RENA HANDS]

I put my comment/suggestion(s) here because the story ends here for the moment...

If this is a story, then use appropriate font within a write of tale. How will we know where a thought or speech begins if it clashes with the whole body (font) of the saga?

I’m going to be blantalty* honest…this epic needs much more in depth action. The dialogue a bit vague for my taste. You are showing or attempting to show action (dramatics) so use stronger terminology. (I'll hold of on the rating for now.)

[Peppy]

Man, this is emotionally raw to the bone. Why, Giath, why? You did an amazing job at pulling the heart strings. I'm still fricking sad. Why? I guess it had to happen.

Though, I have to agree with RENA, it does seem to lack depth in the overworld and battles, but I don't think it's necessarily needed. I think your original intention was the King and Giath's relationship. It seemed so real and invoking. And their relationship is what makes this story special.

Awesome read.

One last note, in the beginning, your writing became sloppy. I would have given it five stars...screw it, I'm giving it five stars.

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Your comma issues. Don't forget to place a comma when the speech sentence is directed to a person (or persons).:

As they turned tail and ran(,) I kept my comrades from following.

You can do anything(,) Giath, anything.

Now rest(,) my friend, close your eyes and rest.

We were already unnumbered two to one without considering the frost giants.

outnumbered

They would gladly lay down their lives for their general, who would lay down his for mmine.

His comrades were similar stirring felling three enemies for everyone one of them…

What?!? Needs more clarity.

I tried to stop them, but already they had reached the enemy hacking and slashing their way through, I ran in behind moved by their fearlessness.

These seem to be two seperate clauses. Like so:

I tried to stop them, but already they had reached the enemy, hacking and slashing their way through. I ran in behind, moved by their fearlessness.

I watched Giath break through and charge into the horde of giants beyond, and my breath caught in my throat.

I don't think you need "and".

I had never realized the full of extent of his strength and size until then.

Don't need "of"

…and I was gripped by a horrible ache in (e)very marrow of my bones.

I waver on his grave more than (the) others, and tell him about what is going on in the court or….

[Razor]

Hey thanks for the critique! I fixed the errors you found and reworded a few things. Nothing major, but i think it helps the flow a little.