MemberPanel

ourSponsors

Google
   


Notices


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 05-02-2008, 02:58 AM
creativeminds's Avatar
Regular Reader
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 48
Total Points: 400.00
creativeminds is becoming a regular very soon
Unleashing Demons- chapter 2, part 1

Synopsis: Ok so chapter two is long and well not quite finished yet, and sorry if this part is kinda boring but it is essential for the rest of the story, once chapter three hits it will start picking up and questions answered. As for this chapter Nicolas gets his Vircola.


Chapter 2–4 months later
“We can localize sounds at this level, when the nerve signals reach the pons due to a slight delay in sound being transmitted from the two ears,” Ellie said holding up a small ear piece like device. “Neurons from both the medulla and the pons carry the auditory signals to the midbrain, then to the thalamus.....”

Nicolas watched her drone on from his chair. He grinned, half chewing on his pencil. He needed her help, she was one of the few Vircola that had the ability to shape shift into human form. He found himself wondering what her colouring would be when she was a Vircola. Thoughts drifting he looked at the clock, 3:30 pm. Soon my young Vircola you will be my pet.

“ I don’t know about you Doctor but, the rest of us have no idea what you are saying .” Nicolas finally interrupted, twirling the half bit pencil in his hand. He glanced at the other agents in the room; eyes glazed over by confusion . Taking a sip of his cup of coffee that had now grown cold he mused; if only they knew exactly who he was, what he was after. If only they knew of the revenge that he had planning.

“In other words, for those who cannot understand the simple dynamics of the scientific language, this device will allow us to hear at the capacity that Strigoi can.” She paused, looking at the still blank looks on the agents' face, sitting around the table of the conference room. She shook her head, wondering how men could be so daft. “Meaning we can now....”

Again Nicolas interrupted, “I don’t mean to interrupt this wonderful science lecture, which is really helping me get caught up on my sleep, but how will this help us? Why would we want to hear better, we hear you well enough!” Chuckling, he waved a careless hand at the device. “In fact..”

"Doctor Walker, Agent Pojhan please report to section 4003, Doctor Walker, Agent Pojhan please report to section 4003". The intercom interrupted the rest of his comment.

“Well fellows, looks like we get out of another science lecture, nap time is over,” Nicolas said, pushing the large leather chair back. The other agents laughed before quieting suddenly from the daggers Ellie was shooting at them. “Ah, don’t worry fellows her bark is worse than her bite. Wouldn’t hurt anything with a soul,” he mocked.

Taken back by his outspoken comment Ellie was not going to be out done. “At lest it won’t stop me from hurting you,” walking out of the room, leaving Nicolas to stare at her retreating back.
My young Vircola you can’t hurt me for I have no soul. You have a fire burning deeper then the pits of the earth. You just need to find it, with my help you will.

“I don’t know, Nicolas. I don’t think she is the type of woman that you want to mess with.” One of the agents said, slapping him on the back.

“ Looks like she was going bite your head off,” commented another.

This is exactly the type of woman I want to mess with. “Bloody women, think they own the world,” he muttered to the agents, walking out of the room, leaving them with a dumb founded look.

Nicolas walked down the hall, greeting those who stopped long enough to talk to him. The mortal race is so full of stupidity, sad that they have not picked up a Strigoi in their midst. He reached the elevator just as he saw Ellie push the button. He plastered a smiled and went to stand beside her.

“Nicolas Pojhan,” he greeted, holding out his hand.

“I know who you are Agent Pojhan.” Ellie said curtly, ignoring the hand that he was holding out.

“Alright then,” Nicolas challenged, folding his arms across his chest. This will take some time to tame her. “Who am I? We just met and there is no way you can know me. Unless you have some superhuman power that can read my mind and sense my past, which I highly doubt that.” He raised an eye brow at her, daring her.

Ellie paused, what should she say to him? She hated dealing with men who thought they were the world. She picked at her white lab coat, doing anything that would get her mind off of him. He had arrived late to the presentation and mocked her in front of all the other agents. The thought died in her mind.

“If you said what you thought, you would be speechless, my wolfkin.”
He watched her look at him, deep green eyes growing wide, fire flashing in their depths. He was captured by them, lured by their secrets that they held. Secrets that he and only he knew about.

The doors of the elevator opened and Ellie stepped inside. She turned and looked at him “You can take the next one.”

Closing the door, she watched the expression change on his face. She leaned her head against the dark cherry wood. His face, turned from pleasant to dark, haunting, there was more to him then what others knew. He was hiding something, something that he wanted her to know. But why call her a wolfkin? Ellie closed her eyes she had not been called that name since. She snapped her eyes open. Shaking her head she tried to erase her memories, the memories that made her what she was today.

' to be continued.....'

Last edited by creativeminds; 07-02-2008 at 01:12 PM.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 07-02-2008, 12:53 PM
RENA HANDS's Avatar
SM 's Roving Reviewer - Want a review then PM me.
Photobucket
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,190
Total Points: 14,163.92
RENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary member
Re: Unleashing Demons- chapter 2, part 1

There is a spacing error between Chapter 2-4 months later.

There is a period spacing error with
Quote:
over by confusion .
Is there one or more agents involved?

Quote:
,looking at the still blank looks on the agent’s(s’) face,
Quote:
I don’t think she is the type of woman that you want to mess with.
(Originally you had women)

Did you intend a period or comma after…
Quote:
bite your head off
Are you speaking of one woman or more?

Quote:
This is exactly the type of women I want to mess with.
Quote:
“If you said what you thought, you would be speechless, my wolfkin.”
He watched her look at him, deep green eyes growing wide, fire flashing in their depths. He was captured by them, lured by their secrets that they held. Secrets that he and only he knew about.


I look forward to reading more about Ellie.
__________________
Right, I'll keep to the present but just take a glance at the past. Damn, is this poetry?



Last edited by RENA HANDS; 07-02-2008 at 12:56 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 07-02-2008, 01:14 PM
creativeminds's Avatar
Regular Reader
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 48
Total Points: 400.00
creativeminds is becoming a regular very soon
Re: Unleashing Demons- chapter 2, part 1

thanks again Rena! hoping to have the last part of chapter two done by this weekend.. given how much time i have
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
None



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT +9. The time now is 12:51 PM. vBulletin Skin by ForumMonkeys. Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.1.0 ©2007, Crawlability, Inc.
Advertisement System V2.1 By   Branden
Copyright © 1999 - 2008, StoriesMania.Net


Love Systems | The Attraction Forums | Savoy