[Venomous Vixen]

Fledge could still feel the burn running down his throat as he was thrown backwards into the waterfall of cascading glass and liquid. Stunned, he watched as the floor rippled beneath him, waves running their course through the length of the bar, uprooting tiles and customers with the same ferocity, the same hunger. Pipes jutted from the ground’s famished mouth, resembling teeth as they tore through the wood paneling, leaving mere splinters in their wake. It felt like hours had passed, maybe even a lifetime as he lay pressed against the ravaged bar, motionless.

“Get the fuck up!” Owlen’s deep, blue eyes pierced through him as he grabbed him by the collar, thrusting him in the direction of the stage. Fledge stumbled and just as he righted his footing he caught a glimpse of her.

Swallow. There she was, tough as ever, arms thrown over the heads of the other three, taking the brunt of falling objects with her own back as they tore through her creamy skin. Her white beater was now soaked with blood, but she didn’t falter once; she would die before she let anything happen to them, and he knew it. He had to get to them; he had to get to her.

As he made his way towards the stage, dodging falling debris and scattered bodies, he heard a familiar voice that stopped him dead in his tracks. Finch. What would his little brother be doing here? How could he not have seen him come in? Possessed, he starting heaving anything in the way of the sound of the voice behind him, moving faster as the calls became louder.

“Hang on, Finch. Just hang on.” His voice cracked on the last note, tears threatening to break free of the dry restraints that had held them at bay for so long. His emotions danced with one another, anger taking the lead, then fear gripping her in a sensual dip and twirling her off the stage. Panic mingled with fear, caught in a flirtatious tango until blame cut in with a harrowing solo.

He didn’t even acknowledge that the ground had stopped its fury, or that his friends were by his side helping to yank the now broken, banquet table up and off of his brother.

“That was a bastard of a shake.” Finch cracked a grin as he tried to make a joke out of the anything but humorous situation.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Fledge lashed out, letting his temper get the best of him for the second time that evening.

It was not until now that he noticed the way Piper was cradling his little brother, his head pressed against her breast in a very motherly, safe sort of way. This was very un-Piperlike. Before he could question the familiar embrace, or his brother could answer why he was down at Macaw’s instead of under his usual pile of books, Swallow was waving her arms, shouting out orders.

“Alright, anyone still standing we need to move all of this crap and see who needs a Band-Aid and who needs a hearse.” It had never been her style to grieve, but even now it shocked Fledge the cold way she rattled off demands, like some freakishly hot robot. There was no use in pointing out her lack of heart just now; she was right, they were lucky but most were not and they had to get them out of there.

~*~

Three hours later the seven of them sat huddled, exhausted and thoroughly spooked. They were positioned in the center of the small medical center they had set up in the street just outside Macaw’s; they all wore blank stares, no one daring to break the silence. They had uncovered dozens of people they knew, kids their age, teachers from school, all the same, all dead. A mirrored set of dangerous questions ran through each of their minds, why them? How could this happen… again?

Swallow yanked Fledge hard, dragging him by the arm to a place across the street she knew was out of earshot from the others.

“The way I see it, we have two choices here. We can leave tonight, pack up a couple of cars and get out of this damned place or we power through, hold our ground and survive this like we did before.” She flicked her eyes up and down the length of him, measuring the amount of fear that swarmed his body, calculating how blunt to be with him.

“I, uhhh… Swallow…” he searched deep in those lavender eyes of hers, looking for some sort of reassurance, for some sort of answer. That same icy, walled-off glare was all that met him. “I just don’t know. How are you so fucking calm? Five years, five years, Swallow. Again…” his voice trailed off as his eyes treaded the ground and he remembered coming home the first time.

“Pull it together, Fledge. This is no time to get lost in that little fantasy land of yours. This is real, this is happening. We are all that we have, get a grip.” She shook her head, as if disgusted by his ability to get clouded by a grey area when all there was, was black and white.

He pushed the doubt from his mind, grabbed her hard by the shoulders and with an authority he did not even know he possessed he commanded, “We stay.”

“Glad you see things my way.” She grinned, like she had just won first place in a Miss America contest, not at all like she had just lost almost everything for the second time in her life.

As they walked towards the group he hung back behind her, assessing the surrounding area. Entire building fronts littered the once clear street, covered in the red dust that must have been kicked up from the shake. Crumbled and agape, the layer of dirt almost resembled blood, like the town was one giant wound. Not a single pane of glass was left in its frame, just glittering shards scattered in the moonlight. Most of the roofs down the main strip of town appeared completely collapsed and anything taller than one story was now humbled down to the same level with the others. Even the large theater looked like it had been gouged with a giant ice cream scooper and served for dessert to the deities.

He focused back on the pitiful group, clothing torn, heads sunk between their aching shoulders. Dried blood was crusted on the arms of almost every one of them, some theirs and some from the bodies they had picked through. The night played tricks against their skin, shadows grinning and dancing across the only life left. The electricity had long since gone out and his mind flashed between the present and five years ago when he arrived to the very same, very broken little town.

His mind continued to adjust in and out of focus as Swallow explained to the others that they were staying. He remembered catching still frames of ‘waiting until morning’, ‘searching at the first light’ and ‘getting some sleep’ but he couldn’t be sure. He couldn’t focus on anything but the light that seemed to materialize out of the darkness, the single approaching beam that was headed right for them.

[Vorcla]

Have you ever studied seismology or geology? Because what you described is exactly what happens in an earthquake. The ground - solid earth - actually moves in waves, just like the ocean. There are "p" waves and "s" waves moving through the earth as if it wasn't there. All that aside, this is a chilling and authentic description of what happens. Brings realism to your tale.

You already know what I think of this story. This is a wonderful, gritty piece, Bri. Your characters are tough, but real, and we can care about them. I like the way you focus on one group of people, a microcosm of the town. You use your poet's voice to work in some wonderful descriptions, and your dialogue is smooth and believable. I always thought you were a good prose writer, but you seemed to have stepped it up a notch lately. Rates a Vorcla's "Damned Fine!" Very nicely done, hun! Now - where's part 3? *cracks whip*

[Venomous Vixen]

I live on the San Andreas fault line in California. I was here when Santa Cruz was almost leveled and the Bay Bridge collapsed up in San Francisco. October 17, 1989... also the day the A's and the Giants were going to play a World Series game. Even though I was six I remember clear as day watching the pavement, it looked like a tide rolling in and it flipped cars like nothing, just shot them up in the air. There were aftershocks for months, and not small ones. Since then I have been in a few more large ones. I guess it is something you don't forget. Also, I have studied them since, it's nice to know what you are up against

Thank you very much hun! I am having fun with this one.

[Lubesh]

Piper was cradling his little brother, his head pressed against her

Lovely...lol lots of detail. The opening was very professional...after the first u jsut waltzed back in.

[RENA HANDS]

Even the large theatre looked like it had been gouged with a giant ice cream scooper and served for dessert to the deities. (WOW!)

I excitingly rate another 5/5!

You should consider (this) publication as 'Ginnis with her Tinseltown.

['Ginnis]

Great work, Bri. The only thing I'd recommend is going even further with the earthquake. You have personal experience with those too, which gives you a great outlet to write what you've seen and know. Looking forward to more.

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you very much Rena

Kara - I will see what I can't do about adding some more of that in there. Thank you hun!!

[Vorcla]

Maybe a nasty aftershock?

[Jimbalaya]

Whew! The first part of this had a pucker factor of about eight, Bri. The only reason I was able to stay in my seat is because my ass cheeks had a death grip on it.

Seriously, though this was another fantastic chapter. Any idea how long this one will be? I really like the characterization. Swallow, I think, is my favorite so far, she's tough. I wonder, though, when she will crack, and what kind of event will be the one to crack her.

I'm fascinated by the way you are writing this. The story very easily pulls the reader in and you've left both installments hanging over a thousand foot cliff.

Awesome work. I'm impressed by your writing every day. Looking forward to the next one.

[Venomous Vixen]

Rick - yes perhaps a series of aftershocks, also I may add to the beginning of this part as well.

Jim - Thank you so much I am not sure yet how long this will be, not even sure exactly where it is headed but I have some rough ideas. I am going to have to take a week or two break from it but then I should be good to go on more.

Swallow, yes I like her too, very much indeed. And you are right, something is bound to crack that stone exterior, will have to see just what Thanks again hun!

[Ferris]

Aaargh!

Was hoping to find more parts to this! When are the next ones coming?

I must say I'm quite gripped by these two chapters so far. Loving the replay of history, a quake 5 years later to the day, makes you wonder whats really going on!

Gotta hand it to you, I'd like to be in that bar when it gets hit, at least I get to see some fine talent!

Keep up the good work, I'm really into this!

Ferris

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you very much Ferris, and good to see you back around here again! I have the next few parts sketched out in my head, it's just finding the time to sit down and get them on paper. I think this month sometime I should get a few more parts up Thank you again!

[Syrah]

Where there are a few things to edit up on your pieces... I admit I like your prose even more than your poetry. Very gritty and interesting. Wonderful job! (sorry for the short reply. I am not in a good critique mode right now )

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you honey

[Bluejay]

Finally made it to part two - it was worth the time spent. The descriptions and imagery were riveting. And you leave us with a lead-in, taking us to the next... when it comes.

A minor thing: "It was not until now that he noticed..."

"Now" should be "then". Otherwise the reader goes, "Really? Now?" (Unless, of course, a character is saying it. Then that puts it in the character's frame of reference as opposed to the narrator's. The narrator in this case is speaking in past tense.)

My only stumble - this part seemed either too dramatic or underdeveloped:

"...she had just lost almost everything for the second time in her life."

You do go on to describe buildings devastated, etc. But people have more in their lives than just buildings. I realize that you wanted it to seem like a *big* earthquake, but the extermity of the personal loss implied by the above statement didn't feel borne out by what came before or after. You even earlier say, "We are all that we have..." Again, big, dramatic. But... I think I needed to see more why that was so. Just my take.

Definitely looking forward to more. This story is quite compelling, and your writing is a pleasure to indulge in.

(One more thought: though gritty characters are a perfect fit for what's going on here... if they're gritty all the time, they can become one-dimensional. I'm sure you won't let that happen. )