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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
Wonderful action sequence. Really, Rick. I'm envious. You bring the movement alive so vividly, I can feel it. It's great, know that I am truly envious.
A few little things in a sea of praise... Quote:
You referenced that Dylan had written a song for Mel at one point, though the reference was vague at best. That's something great that I would recommend playing with. Perhaps he sings it when his mind wanders, perhaps LaGory taunts with the refrain. Something needs to be done with it because the reference is almost too obscure else wise. Quote:
Oh LaGory...how I adore thee (ew ew ew ew ew ew ew...I so did not just say that) Really, the cynicism is wonderful. Your depiction of Dylan's animalistic rage was also flawless. You managed to embody the beastly power while still keeping it human, which terrifies LaGory. I think that's my favorite thing about your monsters, they always retain a human feel. Makes them so much more personable as well understandable. Great work.
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Let's play carpenter. First we get hammered and then I nail you.
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
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Thank you, Kara. Action is one thing I've always felt I was able to do fairly well. Now, while we're in "mutual admiration society" mode, I've always envied the way you draw such realistic characters, and I especially envy your wonderful dialogue - "Satan, bring yor blood pen! You can have my soul if you let me write dialogue the way she does!" Believe it or not, I feel that I've learned a lot about characterization and dialogue and subtlety just by readng and studying your stories. I'm hoping that it's starting to show in my own writing. Thanks for that.Quote:
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Anyway, here's the reference: Quote:
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...a sucker for beautiful, soulful eyes
Last edited by Vorcla; 21-06-2008 at 12:11 AM. |
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
Please write faster!
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A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged, it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and the time in which it is used. ~Justice Oliver W. Holmes |
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
Hahahaha! "Faster" doesn't always mean "gooder!" I may try to do part 4 this weekend. Thanks, Kat.
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...a sucker for beautiful, soulful eyes
Last edited by Vorcla; 21-06-2008 at 03:50 AM. |
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
I think I utterd "C'mon Vorc!" aloud while I was reading the fight scene. I was seriously drawn in to this chapter, Rick. You could have slapped me to get my attention away from it and I wouldn't have noticed. This is a very powerful piece of writing. Looking forward to the next one, man. Keep up the great work!
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
Thanks, Jim. Appreciate the comments. This was the first skirmish between Vorc and LaGory, but it won't be the last. And not just in this story, either...
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...a sucker for beautiful, soulful eyes
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
Another incredible part. I agree about the action here, brilliant and it takes a lot I think to paint a full picture in your readers mind but it was there for me. I mean from the colors to the moonlight on the ancient stone to the round shape leading upwards and out... ah and 'sweet Melissa' oh all hell is going to break loose when she wakes.
LaGory is a bastard, pure greed and evil, and you paint him so well. There is not an inkling of compassion for anything or anyone but himself and you never falter. The silver tears was an especially excellent image. I am with Kat, more please
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"when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
Thank you, honey.
I aim to please. I'll try for more this weekend. Yes - some kind of rivalry for Melissa brewing between Vorc and LaGory. And it's a rivalry which, heartbreakingly, Dylan can't win. Glad you feel that way about LaGory. He's the personification of evil, but (hopefully) overlain with a veneer of charm. Bri, you know how much your comments mean to me. Thanks again.
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...a sucker for beautiful, soulful eyes
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
Ooh this is going good. Brilliant action scene there. Awesome chracterization. I specially like LaGory. You're developing him nicely. And yes, I want more too!
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
Thanks, Nup! Always great to hear from you. Yeah, Kara and I want LaGory to be the "villain you love to hate." You'll be seeing a lot more of him. He has some dimension to him, I think. He kills one of his servants for screwing up and says something like, "Serves you right, you incompetent fool. Good evil minions are so hard to find these days!"
More is coming as soon as I can get to it. Thanks again.
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...a sucker for beautiful, soulful eyes
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Re: DYLAN VORCLA: FIRST MOON pt. 3
You've outdone yourself; even better action scene than the last. I was completely riveted the entire time, and I don't even LIKE reading action. ^_^ Glad to see La Gory knocked down a peg, and can't wait to see what will happen when Mel wakes up. Nice job, rick. On to the next!
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The fog comes on little cat feet. It sits looking over harbor and city on silent haunches and then moves on. -Carl Sandburg |
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Re: Dylan Vorcla: First Moon (Part 3)
Man,this gets better. I hate to sound like a philastine, but just that alone, I'd loveto see etched on film. hence i don't watch cos there sint anything much out there or read it. (another compliment) I could be getting drunk now or worse or finishing my two books lol or working on mine. I am using these installemnts as i do...my sm treats as just that spots in my day or days and getting there.....will she read on?. No. see have to stop myself.lol
Epic stuff and what part 3???? A small thing irritated me a bit... Quote:
Also, I come back to the IV thing and an end similar to his dad's..eventually I shall see, but given ur monumental capacity I think this is tame and a waste of my hero's (LeGory's) 'talent' and would it be 'satisfying enough? Maybe i am looking for to much 'blood' here. Love him btw and the intervening as someone said rl life sardonic wit is great....here boy lol.
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