[ea_blue]

Synopsis: Things have gone bad for a thief going for an easy score. The people in the bank didn't play right. A hot woman pulls a gun on him, and things just go south from there.

*** Continued from Part 1 ***

I didn't wait to hear what the harsh male voice was saying over the bank's speakers. I dashed through the bank doors at a sprint. I felt lucky that the doors weren't nearly as fast as the counter glass. The escape route I had designated as '2B' had the fewest pedestrians to get in the way. I ran down the street in that direction. I turned two corners, dodged a couple CI spheres apparently trying to be helpful, and found the alley I was looking for.

As alleys go it was pretty clean. This was the financial district after all but that didn't prevent a ubiquitous dumpster from being there. I ripped off my demi-mask, reversed my jacket, and pulled off the removable bottoms of my pants. Now I wore shorts. I wadded up all the removables up and placed them in an available garbage bag. Then I poured some noxious smelling food waste in on top of that. That would likely drive away some likely rookie investigator looking for evidence. I emptied my satchel, reversed it, and put all the stuff back in. Now, my satchel was red instead of black and my jacket green instead of gray.
I put on sandals and sunglasses and hung a vid-cam around my neck. I was set. I was a tourist now.

I walked calmly back out of the alley, vid-cam in hand, looking around with my face slightly slack like a tourist. Ambling slowly away from the bank, I took a circuitous route back to my hotel. All pre-planned of course. I listened carefully for sounds of pursuit. Nothing. Not a siren or sound of screeching wheels or pounding feet. Just the sound of CIs buzzing around overhead. I couldn't believe it! All this careful planning for a smooth getaway went unappreciated by a society unwillingly to pursue a crook! I was disgusted.

I got over it though. It only made things easier for me. Lesson learned. I decided my circuitous route wasn't so important after all. So I turned to a more direct path home and began walking down Thisby avenue. Many more cars and people populated the street with lots of posh storefronts. I passed by well-dressed folk and elegant statuary and huge pots full of bright flowers. I let my head roll around, gawking like I'd never seen any of it before to maintain the Tourist image. But while I made it look like I was taking in the sights, I was really still looking for any signs of pursuit. That's something you learn in Thievery 101.

Obvious police or official-looking people were nowhere to be seen. But I noticed shoppers and other people on the street staring at me like I was insane or something. I looked myself up and down and didn't see anything wrong. My clothing had been carefully picked out to match local styles. Nothing radically different from the norm. The intense stares of people I passed started to really bug me. The constant buzzing of CIs overhead wasn't helping either.

Looking for a way off the weird street, I passed by a small cafe with tables set outside in the sun. A middle-aged woman in a tight polka-dot skirt smiled at me as I approached her table at the cafe. She held up her drink in a casual salute to me. "Tourist, right?" she said in a low, exotically accented voice.

She looked harmless enough, even attractive with her well-kept dark hair and large dark eyes. At least she behaved normally. So I stopped and walked over to her table. "Yeah, I am," I said amiably. "Am I that obvious?"

"Oh yes," she crooned, smiling crookedly."You can always tell thieves from other planets."

I stiffened. How could I be that obvious? She pegged me for a thief just like that? My muscles stiffened and I prepared to bolt.

"Relax," she said gently and smiled. "My name is Maggie. Sit down and join me. You'll draw less attention if you're sitting with a lady."

I looked around me at the people walking past. I didn't see anymore glares but then again the street had a lot less people. I wondered why. I looked back at her. She smiled encouragingly and gestured toward a chair next to her. She knew something I didn't, I realized. She might be helpful. I sat at the edge of the chair, muscles still tense, ready to run at a moment's notice. "I guess you're right. But you certainly have a sharp eye."

"It's a talent."

"A thief's talent?"

She smiled coyly. "Let's just call it experience."

"What gave me away?" I asked, watching a couple CIs buzzing by, apparently on some kind of mission.

"Nothing but a practiced eye." She leaned forward revealing abundant, unfettered breasts in her low-cut blouse. "I'll bet you've been wondering why there's no police in the city."

"It does seem strange. How do they handle crime?"

"It's simple, really. A certain amount is allowable, but only if you're in the Guild. The government knows all about it and regulates it. The Guild pays taxes like everybody else and the money goes right back into society. It eliminates the need for cops."

That explained the weirdo in the bank. "So what if you're not in the guild?"

"That's different. That's unregulated crime. Whether you're a Guildmember or not,
there's always cameras taking pictures of you. When you commit a crime, they take your picture."

I was silent for a moment. I had checked this detail out. I saw no indication of security cams in the city. I decided to keep her talking. "So. They take your pic and you still take off with the loot. There's no cops to stop you."

Maggie giggled, her breasts bouncing tantalizingly. "That's not the end of it. When there's unregulated crime, the public is informed about it. Capturing the bad guy is up to the citizenry."

I wrenched my eyes from her breasts. I wondered exactly what the citizenry were expected to do. I half stood up, ready to run. "So the folks here already know about me?"

"Oh don't worry." She waved me back into my seat. "The people here have seen a lot of this. They're too lazy to do anything until a big enough bounty is posted."

"Bounty?"

"Oh yes. The city government has to make it worth a girl's time." She looked just over my head. "Ah! And it looks like they did just that!"

I looked above me. Three of those damnable CIs were hovering above me. They projected holograms over my head that read, "This man is an unregulated criminal!" Another displayed, "Current Bounty: 5,000 credits. 2,000 credit bonus if brought in alive." The third showed "But dead is still okay with us."

I looked back to Maggie. She held a silenced, .50 cal, recoil-damping Mausenvulf PKP-53 aimed directly at my head and a smile that said she knew how to use it. "Now be a good boy and don't give me any trouble."

"Fuckin' OOPS," I muttered, my eyes wide.

"Did you like that? I wrote it myself."

"Eh?"

"The OOPS index on thiefspecs.net. I wrote the specs for Enteris. Oh, and it seems I neglected to mention anything about the Guild or the cams in the details. Sorry." Her faux mournful look turned into a leer. "I'm not just a pair of great tits, you know. I'm a hacker too." She leaned over the table. "Seems like thiefspecs.net needs to work on their security."

"So why in hell would you do that?"

"Well, it seems our system of catching crooks worked so well nobody wanted to come around here anymore. And when a girl makes her living catching bad guys, it's bad for business. So I had to advertise."

I looked around me for escape routes. Instead, I saw people eyeing me hungrily. A gang of accountants on my left were fishing flechette guns out of their attache cases. On my right, a woman with a baby carriage was pulling an assault rifle out of the carriage's pink bonnet. I looked behind me. A schoolgirl in a plaid skirt walked towards me as she rammed a clip home in her Worthman 47 automatic.

"Don't even think about running," said Maggie. "All these folks you see will shoot you in a heartbeat. If you're with me they have to back off. I got here first after all. But if you run, you're fair game."

"How did you know, I would come here? With all these shooters around, anybody could collect for something you set up!"

"True, but I left an alarm on the site that tells me whenever anyone accesses info on Enteris and who did it. From there, I can find out anything I need to know. By the time you booked your flight I knew what color socks you wore on Tuesday. So how do you like the hotel on Market street?"

"That's bullshit. You're guessing. A lot of tourists go to that hotel."

She leaned back in her chair. "Your taste in porn always involves women in tight skirts, and you really ought to switch hands once in a while. You might get carpal tunnel."

She had me pegged. I had been played and she won the game. But that was becoming the least of my worries. I watched an old grandma in a flower print dress. She pushed a grocery cart towards us until she was about twenty feet away. Humming a sweet little tune, she pulled a Maximus LT-320 automatic shotgun out of the cart. Shakily, she tried to load a shell. She kept the gun pointing towards us and absently squeezed the trigger as she fumbled with the special purpose, explosive shell. My eyes bugged out. Luckily, the damned gun was empty but if she ever managed to get the shell in...

I turned back to Maggie and held my hands up. "Okay, okay, I'm yours. Just get me the hell away from these lunatics!"

***

"You're not so bad for an old guy," said 'Tricks' Spencer. "You got some great old stories." He smoked Wiffer Ultra sticks like there was no tomorrow.

I winced as some of Spencer's sloshed booze slipped through the hole in my old coat. "Gee, thanks," I said and wiped my arm off on my stained pants.

"Too bad you lost your touch, 'Fingers'. You gotta keep up with modern techniques. Look at me!" He gestured to his expensive clothing. "The picture of success!"

"Oh yeah. You're some kinda' expert, right?"

"That's right! Just made number 327 in the rankings today."

"Well if you're so smart...tell me about Enteris."

"Never heard of it."

"Oh it's an easy score. You should look it up!"

[Gurdit]

...them in a available garbage bag.

an

ready to run at a moments notice.

apostrophe

* * *

Well, wasn't that dandy? Haha, good one, man!
I loved the ending. Perfectly done!

I thought that some of the sentences were a little choppy here and there, but in a humour story, you're mostly better off with short and quick sentences, so I guess it works! I didn't quite understand why the emphasis on the woman's breasts, though.

[ea_blue]

Thanks for the catches, Tidru!

I generally prefer shorter sentences. That's just my style of writing. But I don't want rough waters if you know what I mean. So if anything looked especially choppy I'd like to know where you thought it was.

The focus on breasts was Maggie's idea. She's a very smart and capable woman who'll use any 'asset' she can. If you'll notice, she knew about the MC's focus on woman in tight skirts, so of course she wore a tight skirt. The skirt and breasts were simply used to keep his attention, and keep him at her table, long enough for the bounty to climb high enough.

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the comments.

Cheers!

ea_blue

[Aleox]

I liked the story a lot, both the plot and the jokes involved. It was very creative, and the imagery it created drew me in. Can't wait to read more

[Gurdit]

Thanks for the catches, Tidru!

Really now, I think it should either be tidruG or Gurdit

ANd don't worry about the choppy sentences. I guess it was probably because I'm used to having sentences of a good length thrown at me, so these short(er) ones tend to look a little choppy.

[Jimbalaya]

Yep. Very good ea. I like how at the end you came full circle to the begining again. Very creative.

[ea_blue]

Thanks BTLOTM and Gurdit. I appreciate the comments!

[subash]

This was the financial district after all but that didn't prevent a ubiquitous dumpster from being there.

I wadded up all the removables and placed them in an available garbage bag. Then I poured some noxious smelling food waste on top of that. (remove in)

I emptied my satchel, reversed it, (remove comma) and put all the stuff back in.

I was set (insert "--a tourist now.") (suggestion)

Thievery 101 (upper cap for T) as it seems to be a recognized course.

I looked myself up and down and didn't see anything wrong. (How do you do that? if it's in a store front, might as well put that down since you have a nice, detailed account.)

So I stopped and walked over to her table. (Suggestion: remove stopped and)

I didn't see anymore glares, (remove comma) but then again the street had a lot less people.

I sat at (on?) the edge of the chair, muscles still tense, ready to run at a moment's notice. "I guess you're right. But you certainly have a sharp eye."

Whether you're a Guildmember or not, there's always cameras taking pictures of you. (sounds funny yet very colloquial although see if "there are" works for you.)
When you commit a crime(insert comma) they take your picture."

I looked above me. Three of those damnable (try "damn/damned") CIs were hovering above me. They projected holograms over my head that read, "This man is an unregulated criminal!" Another displayed, "Current Bounty: 5,000 credits. 2,000 credit bonus if brought in alive." The third showed "But dead is still okay with us."

I looked back to Maggie. She held a silenced, .50cal (space between 0 and cal), recoil-damping


With all these shooters around (insert comma) anybody could collect for something you set up!"

"True, but I left an alarm at (on) the site that tells me whenever anyone accesses info on Enteris and who did it.

By the time you booked your flight (insert comma) I knew what color socks you wore on Tuesday.

"Luckily, the damned gun was empty, (remove comma) but if she ever managed to get the shell in...

"You're not so bad for an old guy," said 'Tricks' Spencer. (If it's a "well-earned" nickname, maybe remove the apostrophe?)

Otherwise, really good story (both parts, that is).

[ea_blue]

Wow, Subash. You caught a lot of stuff! Thanks for the sharp eye and pointing out the things you saw. I agreed with most of your suggestions and made the changes.

I think you can still look yourself up and down without the aid of a mirror. You can see most of yourself without one. It's good enough for a cursory check.

I still appreciate all the suggestions whether I agreed or not.

Thanks for reading and for the comments.

Cheers!

[alloallo3]

Great story. It's interesting that you had to explain the emphasis on the breasts. After all, the way to a man's heart is through his eyes.

[ea_blue]

Thanks alloallo3!

I think there's been a lot of Jigglies in the stories (not just mine) lately. So that's probably just a response to reading about yet another pair, hehehe.

Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading and commenting.

ea_blue

[Omkar]

Its a good story in a world of its own: everything seems to just fit in, including the abbrevations (and their literary meaning, back on earth). All the characters are into it. Its hard enough to make a plot in our own world, and you've done a great job out of your own!

damnable

Yeah, right!

I could see this becoming a short serial on a local TV channel, if it wasn't for the futuristic hovering CIs (nothing we can't make an animation out of).