[jerH]

I hang up the phone and walk outside into the first snow of the season. The alarm system announces my exit with the familiar but ever annoying "Sensor 2 -- Back Door Open -- Beep Beep." I curse it for interrupting the silent snowfall, but it's only the first intruder. The sun isn't up yet, but the street is full of noisy cars on their way to the post-Thanksgiving sales.

The flakes are tiny, falling quickly, but not too heavily. Snow dusts the cars and then clings to the leaves that lay in the yard. The leaves aren't even all off the trees yet, this year has been so strange. The warmth and life of Summer clung for ages, and then suddenly it was cold. No Autumn for adjustment, just a cold front to announce the arrival of Winter.

The ground is still too warm for the flakes to stick if they miss the sanctuary of the leaves. They travel down, out of the sky, each on a one-way journey. They start far above, tiny little specks drawn onward through time. They accumulate body, colliding and merging with one another on their journey. They're blown this way and that by winds they can't fathom, let alone foresee or control. They arrive at the end when they impact the concrete, cold but not cold enough, and wink out of existence. Beautiful, then gone.

I walk back inside and my son greets me, woken by the alarm's announcement. "What's wrong, Dad?" he asks. "Why are you crying?"

I want to deny the truth and tell him it's the beauty of the snow.




In memory of my grandmother, Dorris Hager.
April 25, 1920 -- November 23, 2007.

['Ginnis]

A beautiful piece Jer, and a lovely dedication. So soft and gentle.

Quick little thing, you decapped summer but capped autumn, you may wish to reformat that.

[Ryankia]

~huggles~ I second what Kara says. Just beautiful.

[jerH]

Thanks guys....

[Gurdit]

Snow dusts the cars and the clings to the leaves that lay in the yard.

then?



I couldn't find a single flaw in this, except one typo.
Your writing is amazing, jerH, and this is a fine example.

I can't take anything away from this piece. It's just lovely. It's the kind of piece I aspire to write almost every time I write.

[jerH]

Originally Posted by tidruG

I can't take anything away from this piece. It's just lovely. It's the kind of piece I aspire to write almost every time I write.

I'm blushing!


Thanks.....I appreciate the compliments.

[RENA HANDS]

Even before reading the dedication, I still think that this is a great write. It’s short and simple and hits with so many emotional punches. Well done.

Snow dusts the cars and the clings to the leaves that lay in the yard.

I believe it should be “then.” I caught this error before reading down to tidruG’s comment/suggestion.

Snow dusts the cars and then clings to the leaves that lay in the yard.

[Niwtun]

This is a good fucking piece of work! Excuse my language, but that's how good it is, I want to read more!!

[Peppy]

It was a good little scenario of your life. The ending sums up the whole story in harmony, completes it. The mood of the story is stuck between sadness and depression, I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not.

Anywho, it was a good read. I liked reading the descriptions and symbolism in them.

Hahahaha. I was about to "Quote:" something but Gurdit beat me to it. I think you still should fix it up, other people might be willing to read this in the future.

[jerH]

Thanks...I meant to get back to this and fix that, but forgot about it...

It was a pretty depressing moment. My grandmother had been in and out of consciousness for a few days down in Florida. When I was growing up, my grandparents lived about a mile away, and we saw them almost daily, so she was a pretty big part of my life.

The last thing we head on Thanksgiving night though was that she was doing better. So the phone call Friday morning that she'd passed came as a pretty big shock...I walked outside and it was snowing for the first time in 2007...I wrote this later that day...cathartic I suppose....