[xtremelady]

Synopsis:- Sharisze’s life could be considered simple and straightforward: she is ambitious and hard working, with a clear vision of her future, living on a planet where all women are born psychic, and men - who do not have this gift - are deemed unemployable as a result. In Creditor’s past, a few men were born psychic; they were called dark lords or warlords, causing centuries of wars until Sharisze's ancestor, who lead the rebels, trapped them all in a Cryogenic stasis. So her lover is the spirit of a warlord - who could it hurt? Then just when all her dreams are about to be realised, she learns of the family curse - bad enough... but this doesn’t even compare to having and dealing with a real live warlord – thanks to her ex Norton. To make matters worse, the universe is propelled into war, the blame for this put at her door, together with a male child being found born with the gift. Can Sharize defy her culture to save her planet, bring equality to Creditor, and accept the deep, pure love of one she had been taught to distrust and fear?


Sharisze Langton surveyed the plush gilded ball room, unable to help feeling awe at the stunning opulent beauty of her surroundings. Her ancestor, Celesy Langton, had designed this beautiful stately building, which was used as the hub of Creditor politics, and where those in the high senate made new laws, and dealt with all the mechanisms concerning off-planet trade. Most of the ground floor; sectioned into large, luxurious, individual offices with two gigantic meeting rooms; made it perfect for this purpose.

The spectacular ball room attached to the grandly formed, if functional, building which Sharisze now stood in, was the fantastic attraction which drew the admiration of all who had an opportunity to view it. Except for where the ballroom connected to the main estate, each side had large oval windows. These windows were separated by statues carved into the wall, and cherubs reaching up to seemingly, delicately, hold the glass roof.

The magnificence took Sharisze's breath away, for although her legendary ancestor built Celesy Hall, this was her first opportunity to see it with her own eyes. Very soon Sharisze hoped to have her own office here, her rank within the lower senate now of a suitable level to indicate such could be imminent.

Sharisze had only been a junior Delegate for barely a year and already expected a promotion to higher office. Until recently, the many various social functions enjoyed by the more prominent members of Creditor's governing body, were not something she’d had an opportunity to attend. Understandably, her disastrous affair with Norton Farthal featured strongly in delaying the much sought-after promotion, but now it seemed all her hard work would bring the achievement she’d sought. Sharisze knew from a child such was her destiny; through her, the Langton name would be propelled into Creditor legend once again, and nothing, especially some spoilt young man who thought to openly defy tradition, could prevent her doing this.

Making a decision to fully savour the evening and enjoy the novelty, Sharisze now glanced around the room searching for a friendly face. All the senate were gathered tonight, despite the recent off-planet trade disputes which had caused a shadow to fall over Creditor these last few months. Tdrao were beginning to take advantage of their unique position, being the only habited planet in the region of space dividing the two trading universes. Tonight the ladies of the senate had donned their finest robes; choosing to enjoy the evening, rather than dwell on the troubles and potential side effects, concerning Tdrao’s price increases on fuel. The doubling to the cost of space travel, which the increase would surely do, could potentially be disastrous for trade, and effectively the economy too. This bleak thought was decisively pushed away as Sharisze caught sight of a familiar figure.

Sharisze grinned at Lanna, who disengaged from her family on seeing her and wove her way through the crowd to her side. A young female standing next to Lanna’s mother followed her friend’s movements, and the expression on the brunettes face, struck her as decisively odd. Perhaps it was the speculative gleam in the woman's eyes as she watched her friend, that caused her the intense unease. Perplexed, Sharisze studied the woman, recognising her as a lower senate delegate. That she had been invited to the Ball, indicated someone of political pull; yet try as she might, Sharisze did not remember any noteworthy projects involving her. For a moment their gaze's clashed, and the pure hatred directed at her, took her breath away. Sharisze recoiled in surprise, before tearing her eyes away to meet those of Lanna’s.

‘You are late,’ Lanna accused in a soft voice.

Sharisze shrugged. ‘There was a report I needed to finish before tomorrow. Who is the lower senator with your mother?’

Lannas lips curled downwards. ‘Oh her; her name is Cathy Saunders. She thinks she is in line for a Ladyship because mother is supporting her application. But don’t let that fool you, she is an evil bitch and not averse to being underhand. As you will soon find out for yourself, considering Cathy is your rival for the high senate delegate’s position. In fact was it not for you, she would have most likely walked into the position by now.’

Sharisze digested this information thoughtfully. The idea of a new, virtually unknown candidate, receiving a Ladyship was too ridiculous for her to take seriously. Especially considering Ladyships were only awarded to high senator's, who had preformed the most outstanding service in a five year period. However, the knowledge this young female was a rival for the position she sought, instantly caught her attention. Shariszes well developed sense of self-preservation, instinctively sent alarm bells ringing in her head, and she made a mental to keep an eye on Cathy’s activities.

With a grim smile, Sharisze sent Lanna a look of gratitude. ‘Appreciate the warning.’

‘Don’t mention it,’ Lanna waved a hand dismissingly, before adding. ‘I better warn you - Norton is here though.’

‘What! How the heck did he wrangle that?’ Sharisze asked, slightly shocked Norton had not incurred any punishment for his recent disruption of the trade talks. Had a female been the culprit, she would have been dealt with severely.

‘Mother indulges him, and who would dare criticize her for bringing Norton? She has, however, lost patience with his antics,’ Lanna admitted.

Sharisze knew full well the power wielded by Lady Farthal, the high council woman being the reason she still retained a junior position. She had blamed her for Norton’s wild ways and ultimate disgrace, despite the fact Sharisze could not in any form be held accountable for Norton’s outrageous ideas, and attempts to incite foolishness in other young men.

‘What Norton needs is a life mate to keep him in line and divert some of his energies into more positive activities,’ Sharisze responded coolly.

Lanna emitted a sigh. ‘Mother thinks so also - he has 6 months to find a suitable mate or be sent to live with father.’

Sharisze eyes twinkled, knowing full well Norton would relish neither option. Although by law a woman had to support and look after her mate, whether they co-habitated or not, it was well known Lady Farthal kept Lanna’s father on a short leash despite being separated for nearly 10 years. Sometimes Sharisze couldn’t help thinking that for many inhabitants of Creditor, the taking of a life mate simply denoted a contract between male and female in choosing the person to have children with. Technology meant women no longer needed to go through the process of biological pregnancy and birth; clinics now grew them in a controlled, artificial environment, using the eggs and sperm from life mates. Monogamy between life mates was a rarity on Creditor. With the taking of lovers considered to be acceptable, due to the widely accepted belief that sex for men and women was a basic need for health and wellbeing.

‘He’s a Farthal and will easily find some lady to take him on,’ Sharsze concluded, not liking the way her friend's eyes were appraising her.

‘You haven’t taken a lover since you and Norton parted,’ Lanna probed.

Sharisze shuffled uncomfortably, her vivid blue eyes skirting away from Lanna’s searching gaze. ‘I just haven’t had time to pursue a relationship, and don’t even suggest I am pining after your brother.’

Lanna snorted. ‘I did not think my gorgeous, wilful brother was the reason, but celibacy is unhealthy, and people talk.’

‘Who?’ Sharisze demanded with narrowed eyes.

‘I have no idea why, but many of the higher officials are not in support of your application for promotion to senate. As your friend, I say this because anything they can use to block it, you can bet they will; if I were you, I would find myself a lover fast.’

Lanna did not get to say more, for Norton chose that moment to join them. ‘Hello, beautiful,’ he greeted in his usual flamboyant style, blue eyes twinkling mischievously.

Sharisze had not set eyes on him in two years, and felt a mild annoyance at the faint stir of attraction he still managed to evoke. The blond-haired, well-built, young man’s ability to enthral the female population could not be doubted, and Sharisze did not need to glance at the other ladies in their vicinity to glean this. The suddenly charged air around them indicated accurately the interest he was receiving from those around them. At one time, she too had found Norton's perfect form and incorrigible sense of humour appealing. This made him someone who was difficult to hate even if she could not forget or forgive his selfishness, which almost destroyed her career.

She eyed him frostily before inclining her head stiffly in acknowledgement of his greeting.

‘Behave Norton!’ Lanna growled in warning. ‘You are pushing your luck.’

Norton flashed an unrepentant grin. ‘How am I misbehaving? Have I once so far made any reference to male inequality?’

Lanna rolled her eyes expressively. ‘You know exactly what I am talking about.’

The byplay left Sharisze feeling awkward and wondering if Lady Farthal had given strict orders for Norton to keep his distance. Sharisze could not fathom why Lanna’s mother should have taken such a dislike to her, at first believing the reason was due to her not being considered good enough for the son. The Lady, well known for her fairness and logical attitude in all matters, made the blame she placed at her feet for Norton’s actions seem oddly out of character. Especially when the lad had actively made his views known long before she had come onto the scene.

‘Is that your current guy with his ex slobbering all over him?’ Norton effectively distracted Lanna’s attention.

Lanna sighed, sending Sharisze an apologetic look before going to her lover’s aid.

‘Still causing trouble Norton,’ Sharisze drawled into the silence.

Norton's eyes sparkled with laughter. ‘'Trouble' is apparently my middle name, but this isn’t the reason I wished to talk with you.’

Sharisze frowned ‘Oh?’

‘I know you blame myself for not getting into the senate, and please understand I never expected that outcome.’

‘I do understand Norton - you are far too self-centered to have considered how your actions would reflect on others,’ Sharisze conceded.

‘You fight for the things you believe in - shouldn’t males be able to do the same?’ He ran his fingers through his golden locks. ‘But this is not the real issue; I owe you and wish to offer you some advice’

Sarisze looked at her ex skeptically, wondering what sort of advice he could offer and if she really wanted to hear anything he had to say. Just then, whilst debating her response, she felt the familiar brush of intangible fingers skim across her cheek, indicating Andreous’s presence. Sharisze instantly tensed, worry briefly reflected in her large deep blue eyes as she cast them around at the ladies in the vicinity. Worriedly she tried to gauge whether her ghost's presence had been felt by any of the powerful psychics in the room.

‘Relax Sharisze,’ Andraous directed. ‘No one will sense me unless I choose to reveal myself.’

Sharisze was not comforted. It would take only one lady to pick up on the spectre and recognize what Andraous was for her reputation to be shattered irrevocably. He did, however, serve to remind her of the extraordinary risk he posed to her ambitions, which potentially far exceeded anything the high born Norton had done. Andreous was not exactly a ghost - he existed between worlds. One of the dark lords trapped there over a thousand years ago by her ancestor, and one of the last male psychics born on Creditor. For no male had been born with the gift since STR11, taken in pregnancy, now prevented the abnormality from developing in them.

Exhaling deeply, her icy demeanour toward Norton melted a little. ‘Perhaps you better just tell whatever you feel you must, before your mother gets wind we are conversing.’

Norton visibly colored, foretelling she had been correct in her thoughts. ‘Lanna won’t admit this to you, but I thought you ought to know: mother and her inner circle intend to block all your applications to higher office. I have yet to glean why exactly, and it’s extremely hard to imagine I am the sole reason for their disapproval.’

Sharisze nodded, unable to dispute his words, having experienced firsthand the internal politics which had so far dogged her every movement. ‘Yet I can perceive no reason other than taking you for my lover to explain why the inner circle could have cause for doing such.’

Norton shrugged. ‘You can continue to blame me, or you can look for a deeper, more relevant reason.’ His cheeky expression changed to a more serious one. ‘I have missed you, Sharisze, more than I realized until this moment. No one can compare either in bed or outside of it, so if you want me back in your bed, just say and we will work this thing out together.’

Sharisze frowned, not taking the offer seriously. ‘And ruin all my chances of being a senator?’

‘You are never going to realise your dream if the inner circle reject your application; but now is not the time - can’t have mom seeing us together now can we?’ He sent her a wink before disappearing into the crowd, and Sharizse, following the direction of Norton's concern, turned to be greeted by Lady Farthal herself.

‘Ah Sharisze, I am pleased you could make it this evening.’

Appraising the older woman found nothing to indicate the animosity, she knew was felt by the powerful Lady. Sherisze, however, knew enough from past experience to be wary of any attention the senator bestowed. One could not last long in Creditor government without being aware of the swirling internal politics and learning how to work them to one's own benefit. Not that Sharisze worried too much about this –‘the inner circle could disapprove all they liked,’ she reflected with an amount of satisfaction. Their lofty positions had little impact in the lower senate, and Sharisze had made sure that within the lower ranks she was indispensable. Purposely, an integral part of the success in all of the lower senator's key projects.

The transgression to higher office might be proving more difficult, yet wasn’t a completely daunting feat, she mused thoughtfully to herself. Feeling certain in her knowledge, and appraisal of the political mechanisms; Had complete faith that soon her support for application from the lower ranks would not be able to be ignored. Not without causing talk and gossip if not addressed. Tonight, in more ways than one, had been informative. The very fact the inner circle were hitting on the very flimsy disapproval of her lack of lover, meant they were getting desperate. That they had yet to find some reasonable, or logical explanation to explain their blocking her most recent application, made her feel an incredible amount of satisfaction. ‘Lady Farthal.’ Sharisze inclined her head respectfully. ‘I thought tonight a perfect place to acquire a lover.’

Lady Farthal’s smile faded. ‘One would think in such a young person, and having sustained for so long, that the sexual frustration would be brimming to bursting point.’

Sharisze felt a small satisfaction in rattling the lady, knowing the civilized façade did not alter the fact she was her enemy. ‘Perhaps I have more control than some.’ She let her eyes fall on Lady Farthal's current lover. ‘Or perhaps my lover has a possessive life-mate.’

‘We both know you have taken no lover since my son.’

Sharisze did not bother to dispute this. ‘I assure you I will make a concerted effort to fulfill my physical and social needs henceforth.’

‘Such a shame - you have so many admiral qualities and undoubtedly would have made a fine addition to higher office,’ Lady Farthal said with a sad sigh.

‘I will make an excellent addition,’ she corrected, on a growl of determination.

‘No Sharisze - it's time you and I talked, time for you to understand. I had hoped the obstacles would have deterred you from senate, that you would go away, but you are far too intelligent for your own good, young lady, and I'm left with little choice - my secretary will schedule a meeting with yours.’

‘Tell her no!’ Andreous demanded sharply, the unexpected force of his tone making her jump, and her eyes flew to Lady Farthal to see if the lady had sensed anything, but found nothing in the older lady's appraisal which indicated she had. Letting out a soft sigh of relief, Sharisze nodded, not at all intimidated by Lady Farthal’s underlying threat. The hint she contained knowledge which, if known, would change her mind in pursuing her dream career. Refusing the meeting would be of no benefit, for Sharisze was of the mind that understanding her enemy was paramount in defeating her. Besides, she was also infinitely curious to find out how the lady would go about presenting evidence of any scandal attached to her. The only deviation in her whole life was Andreous, the dark lord spirit she’d taken to her bed, and she was absolutely sure this secret was safe.

As Lady Farthal shuffled away, Sharisze turned to look over the young men present, not surprised to find she had little enthusiasm for extending her energy towards wooing a lover. Between the stresses of work and Andreous’s nightly visits leaving her sated and contented, she had little need or want of another. A physical lover would demand her time and expect her courtship; a male did not like to feel as if he were being used simply for sexual gratification. Few males would put up with such a thing, especially the young, good-looking ones, who would not want for other girls willing to bestow their devotion and spoil them to distraction.

How the heck could she juggle a social life with everything else! A ghost, on the other hand, could be ignored and summoned when the urge for sex was upon her; one did not need to dance attendance or court a spectre.

Now she felt Andreous arms encompass her. The feather light pressure sending a slight chill across her flesh, and she closed her eyes to try to wipe away the sensuous mental images he was sending to her, hearing his amused laughter when she sent him a breathless ‘behave.’

A lady next to her sent her a sharp look, having picked up the silent demand, and she could have kicked herself for having done so. They might not be able to pick up on Andreous’s mental communications, but she may as well have said it aloud.

Ignoring the chuckle from Andreous, she instead turned to focus on Mary’s younger brother Mitch. Having talked to him on a few occasions, found him a shy and reserved individual, with big brown expressive eyes. Appraising the young man thoughtfully, she tried to gauge how demanding he might be – and whether she should initiate a connection with him? He was the only guy of her acquaintance currently unattached, and Sharisze made a mental note to explore this possibility further.

‘You and that boy? You can’t be serious, Sharisze!’ Andreous made his unwanted opinion plain.

Sighing with regretful agreement, Sharisze looked around to gauge other possible options. Without a word, her gaze, as if drawn by some external force, turned to dwell on Norton.

‘Much better, and I would rather think he will quite enjoy the annoyance such would cause in his mother. She can’t block you for simply having a relationship with her son.’

Nor could Lady Farthal block her for lack of sexual activity, mused Sharisze. Not when half the senate could be accused of the same lack of regard for their wellbeing. The lady would not want to open such a debate or the stir it would create. Criticizing her in private, a far cry from publicly doing so. Especially, when the issue had come under the limelight recently, about such being the individual's decision rather than society's dictate. Becoming reacquainted with Norton did not tempt her, even to anger the high lady.

[Bluejay]

Well, you've got me started. I love where this is going. It has a bit of sci-fi and fantasy all rolled into one, plus some really intriguing characters. I like how you've brought out the relationships among the various characters, and you've set up some nice foreshadowing - but not necessarily predictable. I can see this going lots of ways, including ones I haven't even thought of.

My only gripe is that some of the sentences are too long. I think a sentence can go on long and be ok if that happens to be what's needed to make a coherent thought. (And I sometimes tend toward longer sentences myself, if you haven't noticed.) But if you try to cram too many ideas into one sentence, it can be more difficult for the reader. One in particular is this senta-graph (para-tence?):

Sharisze knew full well the power wielded by Lady Farthal, the high council woman being the reason she still retained a junior position, having blamed her for Norton’s wild ways and ultimate disgrace, despite the fact Sharisze could not in any form be held accountable for Norton’s outrageous ideas and attempts to incite foolishness in other young men.

Sometimes the sentences feel like when you turn off the car and it tries to keep going, knocking over and over, refusing to go silent, and you're just sitting waiting for it to end. (Does that happen to anyone any more?) So I think if you can keep sentences focused on a single thought, it will be easier to digest. Another example:

Ignoring the chuckle from Andreous, she instead turned to focus on Mary’s younger brother Mitch, having talked to him on a few occasions, finding him shy and reserved, with big brown expressive eyes.

This goes from a chuckling Andreous to her looking at the brother to him being shy and reserved to him having brown expressive eyes. That's quite a trek for a single sentence! I would think it almost works, if not for the last part about the eyes. For some reason, that pushed it for me to being too much info in a single sentence. I think it's all great stuff and wonderfully descriptive, but it's a bit much to take in in one bite. You could do something like:

Ignoring the chuckle from Andreous, she instead turned to focus on Mary’s younger brother Mitch. She had talked to him on a few occasions, finding him shy and reserved, with big brown expressive eyes.

Even that single mental breath point would help.

Overall, I think this is wonderful, with lots of potential. I look forward to seeing where it all goes.

[xtremelady]

Having seen it pointed out, yeah do see what you mean by the long sentences. Now in re-reading realise needs to be addressed.

Thank you Jay for your comments and relieving my fears that ideas might be OTT - pleased you found enjoyable and interesting – means a lot m8.

[sakura]

its a nice and entirely new idea . i am waiting for the next episode . its well planned and i must say an excellent imagination . keep up the good work and post next episode fast

[xtremelady]

Thank you Sakura for reading and commenting, glad you enjoyed. Unfortunately I been a bit busy with work, but more will be posted soon.

[RENA HANDS]

Most of the ground floor - sectioned into large, luxurious, individual offices with two gigantic meeting rooms - made it perfect for this purpose. The spectacular ball room attached to the grandly formed, if functional, building which Sharisze now stood in was the fantastic attraction which drew the admiration of all who had an opportunity to view it. Except for where the ballroom connected to the main estate, each side had large oval windows, separated by statues carved into the wall and cherubs reaching up to seemingly delicately hold the glass roof.

This whole description for me personally seems abrupt. It's like you start a thought then stop and start another. Not that I haven't done that myself, but I try to correct that.

The lady, well known for her fairness…

Shouldn’t it be…The Lady well known for her fairness…

Or are you just referring to her as some casual woman? Then my inquiry would be mute.

Sharisze was not comforted. It would take only one lady to pick up on the specter and recognize what Andraous was for her reputation to be shattered irrevocably. He did, however, serve to remind her of the extraordinary risk he posed to her ambitions, which potentially far exceeded anything the high born Norton had done. Andreous was not exactly a ghost - he existed between worlds, one of the dark lords trapped there over a thousand years ago by her ancestor, and one of the last male psychics born on Creditor since STR11, taken in pregnancy, now prevented the abnormality from developing in boy children.

Your paragraphs could be a bit shorter with more simple sentences. Again for me personally this is just my thoughts. I highlighted what I consider an example.

I still have questions about the use of “lady,” but that’s me. A very fascinating story

[ebookguru]

What a great start, you left me want to read more.

[xtremelady]

Real pleased you liked ebookguru

I am going to address this chapter very soon – i will pay particular attention to sentances – great point from jay. At the same time to include minor skirmish with baddy character and supply a reference to what lady means in this world and usage of term.

Rena thank you for your thoughts and encouraging comments; The question regarding term lady in regards to this world was an excellent point. You know i hadn’t even really thought that bit out – but after a little reflection think i have come up with an adequate, simple solution – i shall write this in with the conflict bit...will post when i do.

[Storiesmaniac]

Ooooh man i remember this story, from a totally non editor point of view it was GREAT! such a good story think im going to go read the other chapters again.

[xtremelady]

Hi Tim and thank you - hear ya on editor thing ...but pleased u think has potential despite

[xtremelady]

Changes have now been made....hope reads better now

In bold - introduction of baddy and explanation of title 'Lady' - did like this as easier to see. If any1 prefers other version etc ...have saved ...let me know what think.

thanks all

[Vorcla]

Nicely done, Claire. Very intriguing and fresh. I like where it's going.

Rick

[xtremelady]

Thanks Rick - really appreciated, your thoughts mean alot