[Keplaz]

The Problems of a Young Couple expecting a baby. Originally posted as Cleaning, Pickles and Videogames, has a changed a lot, editted by my new friend, Katie.

"Kev can you go pick your clothes from the floor please!" she said, her voice already beginning to rise.

I pretend as if I can't hear her, and continue twiddling with the Playstation controller in my hands, and mentally rolling my eyes.

"Kevin!" she says, "I know you can hear me, I've just tidied up the bedroom and your clothes aren't meant to be on the floor, we do, believe it or not, actually have a wardrobe."

Her voice was already reaching uncharted decibel levels, if her voice got any higher she'd be conversing with dogs. Previous experience had taught me I had to pay attention before next door's Labrador started howling. I sniggered to myself.

"But I picked them up a few minutes ago" I protest weakly, my eyes still locked on the TV screen.

"Honestly Kev, all you did was move them to the other side of the floor and that's not putting them away! I have to do everything for you! I clean, I cook and I do the dishes but do you ever appreciate anything I do? As if things aren't hard enough already, it's like living with a 24 year old child!"

I turn away from the Playstation finally, her voice didn't sound angry anymore, she sounded upset and I know that within minutes she'd start crying again. Her big brown eyes are teary and wet and her small round face looks forlorn and lost. She is half-sitting and half lying on the black leather couch. The Playstation and the hundreds of games I've been collecting for six years are on the other side of the room, close to the TV so I stand up and walk towards her. She looks away as I sit beside her. Now that I thought about it the crying was a bit tedious, but given the amount of hormones surging through her system it was hardly surprising.

"I'm sorry honey", I say as I lie beside her on the couch before putting my arms around her.

She says nothing and instead looks at the TV which isn't really doing anything right now, she's sulking.

I kiss her neck softly and rub her swollen belly gently.

"I'm sorry Jess, I'll go pick up the clothes and you know I appreciate you don't you babe?" I whisper in her ear.

She says nothing. She's still sulking.

I get up and go turn off the Playstation and switch the TV back to the normal programmes before heading to the bedroom. I pick up the clothes that are strewn in an untidy heap on one side of the floor and dump them in the washing basket. I take the car keys from my coat pocket and head for the door.

"I'll be back in a minute" I say as I open the door, Jess is in the other room and I know she can hear me but today she's sulking more than usual and pretends as if she can't and doesn't say anything. She was doing the same to me as I had done to her when she had asked me to pick the clothes in the first place.

"I'm back." I say ten minutes later.

I don't really wait for a response and walk into the tiny living room with the bunch of pink roses I have in my hand. Her eyes light up as she sees the flowers, she tries to keep sulking but she somehow she can't keep up the charade. She gets up and takes the flowers from me before heading into the kitchen to hunt down a vase.

"Don't think you are off the hook, yet." She says with a smile as she glides past me.

"Will these help?" I ask as I pull out the jar of pickles I also bought from the supermarket.

Pickles are not the most romantic thing I could have bought her but I know she has been craving them lately and she hasn't really had the strength to leave the house. They are not chocolates but for my girl, they are better.

She takes the pickles without a word and when she returns from her forage in the kitchen, she places the vase of flowers on the table, along with her pickles and kisses me fondly on cheek.

"Hey!" I protest, "Is that all? I bought you pickles woman!"

She laughs and kisses me tenderly on the lips. I give her a huge hug, and we lie on the sofa together and begin watching TV. The storm has blown over.
*******
Jess had gone to the maternity clinic with her mother for a check up and had left me alone in the flat. I usually go with her but today her mother wanted to take her shopping afterwards so I was forced to relent. The bedroom is untidier than usual, there are piles of both clean and dirty clothes all strewn over the floor making it look like some sort of patchwork carpet. Jess had been feeling more tired than normal and had not been able to do much housework for the past two days but with her being eight months pregnant, I can't really blame her. I'd been given Fridays off work so I could drive Jess for her check ups but since I didn't have to take her, I contemplate sleeping until midday or even getting up to play videogames until she returns. I step out of bed and after using the toilet, decide to go downstairs and have some cereal. I try and find a bowl in the cupboard but after finding it empty, realise it's buried somewhere in the tower of dirty dishes that is ascending steadily from the sink.

I don't know how I get the idea in my head but I decide to surprise Jess and clean the house for the first time since we moved in together. As I begin to tackle the mountain of washing up that doesn't seem to be getting any smaller despite me having been working at it for almost forty five minutes, I realise just how much work Jess has to do everyday. I'm too busy with my job to help her, I tell myself but I know it's not true, I could do a little more to help instead of playing videogames after work. After almost two hours all the dishes have been washed, dried and put away and I sweep the floor after cleaning the cooker. I was tempted to stop, but I think of Jess and I ask myself how she managed to do so much while carrying the extra weight of our baby. I tidy the living room before proceeding to pick up all the clothes on the bedroom floor and hang them neatly in the wardrobe. I grimace inwardly when I realise that everything on the floor is mine, I had never realised how much of a slob I was or how much Jessica really picked up after me.

By the time I finish cleaning the house was almost three o'clock and Jess was due back home any minute. I had one more errand to run before she gets home and I rush out the door having just made one of the most painful decisions I had made since making the decision to become a father. After spending a day in my girlfriend's shoes I had realised just how much work she does and I know as time progressed towards the arrival of our child, she was going to need more help round the house than I could give her. Money had been tight for a while but I had just started a new job we were coping very well. We had only just moved in together when Jessie got pregnant and even though we hadn't been expecting it, that news had turned out to be the most amazing thing that could have ever happened to us. I return home and find Jessie planted on the sofa, watching TV. She looks exhausted and clearly uncomfortable. She looked up at me while rubbing her stomach. I saw the gleam in her eyes, her voice was soft and loving.

"Kev, what happened to the house?" she says, smiling.

"I don't know. Just woke up and found it clean. Babe, I never realised just how much work you have to do. You really should have told me, I would have helped a little more. I feel so guilty. Here you are about to go through childbirth and you're picking up stuff and cleaning...I should have been doing that stuff for you."

She could easily have pointed out that she's been telling me to help more for the past eight months but because she's her, she doesn't burst my bubble.

"I know how busy you get with work and everything. Thanks for being so helpful Kev, what would I do without you?" she asks as she kisses me.

After we finally pull away, we lie on the sofa in our usual positions, with me snuggling beside her, as we watch Home and Away.

"Jessie, I know you won't be able to do as much around the house for a while so I hired someone to help you with the cleaning. She'll be coming for any hour everyday for the next 6 months, all you'll have to do now is cook and even then I'll try and help you with that."

She sits up abruptly and looks at me in shock.

"We can't afford any cleaning help right now Kev, with the baby coming. You know that, how are we going to afford it? I know you were trying to be helpful but honestly Kevin," she sounded exasperated and hopeful at the same time. That made me smile.

"It's ok," I say, "We can afford it. You've been making sacrifices for so long; I decided to make one of my own. I've already paid the cleaner sweetie, so don't worry about that. All that matters to me is that you are happy and lets face it we are going to be exhausted when this little one arrives."

I put my hand on her stomach and she put her hand over mine, she smiled. It was at that exact moment I fully appreciated how beautiful she was. I nestled into her neck.

"What are you talking about?" she says, with a puzzled look on her face.

She turned and looked towards the TV and it suddenly dawns on her,"Kevin what happened to your Playstation and all those games?"

I couldn't look her in the eye.

"I sold it." I say.

"But you loved that machine. And all those games! We can go back and get them, I'll be fine Kev. I don't really need any help. We can muddle through"

She looks sincere and because she's her, I know she means it.

"I can always get another one after the baby comes" I say nonchalantly.

She's staring me straight in the eye and she knows how much the sacrifice hurt. She gives me a huge hug.

"Thanks" she says simply and we stay like this for a while, happy and content. Well, at least until I leave my clothes on the floor the next time.

[Vorcla]

Hey, that's nice. I like the payoff - the dude sold all his game gear. Must've been nuts!

One little nitpick - I noticed "untidier." It's "more untidy." I'm too coked up on the Vicodin they gave me at the hospital to be of any further use!

Nice job, Kep.

[Keplaz]

Thanks Vorc, man. Can't find the untidier bit, but I'll hunt it down later. Hopefully you are not high as a kite all day!

[Vorcla]

Originally Posted by Keplaz

Thanks Vorc, man. Can't find the untidier bit, but I'll hunt it down later. Hopefully you are not high as a kite all day!

Yeah - I'm a "Rocket Man" - burnin' out his fuel up here alone!

[Nupur]

This was lovely. You captured all the feelings really well.

The bedroom is untidier than usual, there are piles of both clean and dirty clothes all strewn over the floor making it look like some sort of patchwork carpet.

Rick pointed this out.

All that matters to me is that you are happy and lets face it we are going to be exhausted when this little one arrives.

I think you missed the apostrophe there.

"Thanks" she says simply and we stay like this for a while, happy and content.

Perhaps a comma after 'Thanks'? Unless this was intentional.

"I'm sorry Jess, I'll go pick up the clothes and you know I appreciate you don't you babe?"

I think you're missing a comma here.

"I'm sorry Jess, I'll go pick up the clothes and you know I appreciate you, don't you babe?"

I felt a few of your sentences were a little long winded, like this one:

Jess had been feeling more tired than normal and had not been able to do much housework for the past two days but with her being eight months pregnant, I can't really blame her.

Perhaps you could try separating them or putting a couple of commas.

Jess had been feeling more tired than normal and had not been able to do much housework for the past two days, but with her being eight months pregnant, I can't really blame her.

I saw a few more such sentences, and although, to the best of my knowledge, you're perfectly right grammatically, it would help the reader if they know where to pause.

Apart from all that, this was a really sweet story. Brilliantly captured emotions. And now who wouldn't want such a boyfriend?

I loved it!

[Keplaz]

Nupur thanks for the time you took to read this. You are really an asset to this website, a big talent and a wicked reviewer. I'll look into all the problems you've pointed out and I'm glad you enjoyed this.

Cheers.

[Ferris]

Hey there!

Clearly written and a nice story. I think there could have been more at the start when the 'nagging' started, I felt it wasnt enough to make me think 'pig' - I think that would have given the ending much more impact.

I cant recall any mistakes, so well done (or my bad, however you want to look at it! )

Other than that, I really enjoyed reading this.

Ferris