[xtremelady]

“Lady Farthal strikes again! You have to give her respect, if only for her sheer determination - I guess,” remarked Andraous, his form materializing to hover on the edge of her desk.

Under normal circumstances, Sharisze might have been extremely upset over Andraous suddenly appearing in her office, and worried over possible discovery. At that moment she felt reckless, unable to give a damn should the ghostly warlord be discovered. Besides such was highly unlikely, given that last night, the most powerful psychics on creditor had remained oblivious to his presence.

Andraous’s unwanted appearance did not spark her ire. His cheerful tone on the other hand served to grate on her nerves.

Sharisze sent him a dark scowl. “You are developing quite a bad habit of popping up and injecting your opinions!”

“Get used to it Sharisze. I am bored with simply watching you; of being a silent undetected presence in your life. Too long this has been so, and now, even I cannot fight against the craving for human interaction.”

Sharisze frowned at the underlying pain in the harsh tone, and gravely regarded the vague outline. His expression was unreadable. In this light, the faint wisps of swirling misty threads, barely gave the impression of a manly form. Looking from his prospective, she found it difficult not to empathize with him. A 5000 year old ghost, tied to this world yet unable to interact with it.

“How many times did you try before finding a willing partner?” Sharisze softly spoke the thought aloud.

“Only you in a hundred years,” Andraous half whispered in answer.

Was she expected to feel special? Privileged? His revelation merely heaped a responsibility on her shoulders she neither wanted nor needed. Now wasn’t the time to establish bounderies, to give warning ether to accept his place as a mind sex partner, or disappear entirely. Had he not been a warlord and had her ambition not one in high senet perhaps things might have been different. Sharisze sighed.

“I can see the regret shining in your crystal blue eyes; for allowing me to seduce you. Now you perceive me a threat to your career.”

“And aren’t you?” she snapped, not bothering to deny his assumption.

“Possibly a handicap; not a threat,” he grinned. “Unless you allow me to be so,”

“What you are is a distraction I do not need. Especially when the future of Creditors economy rests in my hands,” Sharisze curtly pointed out.

“More than just the economy! From what I have garnered, the future of Creditor remaining a free planet is possibly the real issue at stake,” Andraous injected, choosing to ignore her hint to disappear.

Sharisze blinked, asking sceptically.“You concluded such a thing from my conversation with Mary? I might agree the situation is worrying and having greater ramifications for us – but our freedom is not in jeopardy, not that I expect an ancient to understand the complications of the modern world!“

“A body sleeps; not one’s consciousness. I have had a lot of time on my hands to watch the activities of both higher and lower senate. Being invisible does have benefits, my dear; so do not accuse me of lack of understanding Sharisze,” he shot back.

Sharisze stilled, digesting this insight, and finding herself unable to prevent the curiosity such an idea created. “So explain to me your reasons for drawing such an outlandish conclusion?”

“My consciousness is not bound to Creditor, and I have often travelled,to other planets to glean the cultures of the different peoples living on them. So my outlandish conclusion of which you speak, is driven from the first hand knowledge gained,” He replied matter of fact.

Sharisze frowned; did she dare trust this ghostly Dark Lord? If what he stated were indeed true, he could aid her no end in resolving the dire circumstances befalling off world trade. Little was known about Crimin; a planet that refused trade or agree to any form of interaction with the united Planets.

The inhabitants of Crimin were a psychic race. The only difference being that the men on the planet were also born with the gift. Creditor’s history was a testament to how male psychic’s appeared to be linked closely with males of a dark and violent nature. Given their own history regarding such males, few found it surprising that Crim’s were the most feared race ever discovered.

Despite her earlier decision not to let Andraous crawl beneath her defenses, Sharsze couldn’t help feeling intrigued at the insights he could offer her about the secretive planet. “Tell me about Crim’s? How do I get them to agree to meet for talks?”

“You dangle a piece of bait they will be unable to resist.”Andraous chuckled. “Tell them you have 9000 banished psychic women seeking a new home.”

“Seeking a new home not slavery!” She scoffed at this idea, realizing he spoke of those women banished by law and currently living in camps. Unfortunately those suffering this fate had little choice, because no united planet would accept migrants who were psychically gifted.

“I did say dangle Sharisze! Trust me they will find the possibility too tempting to ignore.”

“Tempt them with the very thing we would require them to forsake should they join the united planets?”

“To get them to join - you will need to make contact, and that’s not going to happen otherwise.” He warned softly.

Sharisze did not like it very much, but Andraous was making sense. This was not the first time a treaty with Crimin had been placed as no 1 priority; thus she had a good idea of the inducements offered previously.

All unfortunately to no avail. Their attacks were rarely on trade vessels; instead passenger transporters were their main targets. The women they captured, and taken for slaves, seemed to be the only reason for this.

Sharisze suspected Andraous could be correct, that the only way to obtain their attention would be to dangle such a tantalizing offer. Except talks based on deception were doomed to failure. Logic on the other hand, suggested things were likely to turn nasty when Crim’s realized they had no intention of delivering.

After a moment of thought Sharisze glanced back to Andraous only to find him gone.

She sighed deeply, before placing her finger on the picture Kallie illuminated on the touch screen. Her fingers taped her desk as she waited patiently for her to respond to her call.

A few moments passed, before the image of Kallies questioning expression appeared full screen. “Kallie, I need you to set up our offices in the west wing. I also want every file we have on Crimin transferred there, and the services of any experts on Crim’s obtained.”

“Right on it,” Kallie confirmed.

Sharisze sent her a tight smile before disconnecting swiftly.

Now she slumped back in her chair, taking a moment to unscramble her jumbled thoughts and feelings. Not only did she have to stomach being sidestepped for promotion to higher senate, she had been given the impossible task of convincing Crimin to open some sort of communication with them. Damn she wondered wretchedly ‘could this day get any worse?’

She hated this feeling of being propelled by forces beyond her control, and the feelings of uncertainty this promoted. Yet knew for now, all she could do was go with the flow, take the opportunities available, and use them to their best advantage.

Luckily having faced many knockbacks in her short 24 years, Sharisze knew from experience even the gravest situation could be turned into a great coop. Like a cat, she always managed to land on her feet. This uncanny ability created both admiration, and envy equally in her peers. Just her reputation alone, made many think twice before crossing her. This was not the first time she’d been set up for failure, nor did she doubt would it be the last.

Straightening her back, and with resolve gleaming in her eyes pulled the screen closer to her. Slowly she began to outline the plight of 9000 women needing a new home, and asking for Crimin’s aid in this matter. It was a shot at nothing Sharize guessed. No previous communication sent had ever been responded to. In good conscious she could not dangle as Andraous suggested, a possible slave trade between their planets.

No indeed! But that did not mean she could not discuss the possibility of relocation with the Crimin government. Not that for one moment she expected any such thing to happen, but the possibility could exist under certain stipulations…. and may possibly smooth the way for greater cooperation between them.

“You have done well,” Andraous breathed into her ear, before adding. “I shall go to Crimin, so that I can give you feedback on how well received your proposition is taken. Don’t look for me tonight because I will not be available for your pleasure.”

Sharisze not having felt the ghost watching her glanced around suspiciously, but as far as she could tell, she was now alone.

[RENA HANDS]

I think ‘Creditor’ should be capitalized in the first paragraph. ?

What about changing ‘the’ with ‘his’ in this sentence…only to make it more personal for Andraous?

Sharisze frowned at the underlying pain in ‘his’ harsh tone, ?

I think you mean ‘either,’…

to give warning ‘either’ to accept his place as a mind sex partner,

(originally it was ‘ether’) Or do you describe ‘ether,’ the air, atmosphere, heavens?

Is this correct?

Had he not been a warlord and had her ambition(s) not (been) one in high senet perhaps things might have been different. (*What is senet?)

Are you ending a thought/speech?

Unless you allow me to be so(,)

(*There is no period or are you continuing the sentence?)

Possibly consider adding a comma after ‘What’…

What, you are is a distraction (that) I do not need.

Also, it should be ‘Creditors’ economy rests in my hands, (*Originally you just had Creditors) ?

I think possibly a comma…

Sharisze blinked, asking skeptically, You concluded such…

I think in the manner in which you present/illustrate ‘Ancient,’ you should capitalize it, possibly ‘Warlord’ too.

You need a space after ‘travelled’…

and I have often travelled, (to) other planets…

It should be ‘he’…

is driven from the first hand knowledge gained, he replied matter of fact.

This seems awkward…

he could aid her no end in resolving the dire circumstances befalling off world trade. Possibly…he could aid her (to) no end in resolving the dire…?

I think you don’t need ‘also’…

The only difference being that the men on the planet were born with the gift. ?

The whole statement about Creditor’s history seems awkward you might want to review/rewrite it. Also is it not ‘Crimins’ and not ‘Crim’s what you had originally.

You forgot the (i) in Sharize in Sharsze…

Sharsze couldn’t help…

Possibly…

Tell me about (the) Crim(ins) or Crims?

You might want to add ‘before them’…

You dangle a piece of bait ‘before them,’ they will be unable to resist. ?

A comma after 9,000 (*Originally 9000).

You need to capitalize

‘United Planets,’…with the United Planets…because no United Planet would…join the United Planets…

I would write out…

number 1 priority…

We understand what you are writing, but write it out anyway.

These two ideas seems awkward…

thus she had a good idea of (what) inducements (were) offered previously. ?

(I added some words, does it change anything?)

All unfortunately (failed/succeeded) to no avail. ?

*Except talks based on deception were doomed to failure.

(Seems awkward at least to me, could you explain?)

Again, I question the execution of ‘Crim’s…

when (Crimins’ realized they had no intention of delivering. ?

I think you mean ‘tapped,’…

Her fingers ‘tapped her desk…

Possibly…

before the images of Kallie(‘s) questioning expression appeared (on the ) full screen. ?

I think possibly…

and asking for (Crimins’) aid in this matter. ?

*If I have not rated this story so far...many apologies, but I think I will wait until the end is stated and understood. Though I will say for now...I give it 4/5!

[Razor]

Hmm intriguing. Psychics, political knavery, ghosts and marauding space pirates with a dash of mental ecstasy exchanged for favors.... I like it.

I've jumped in the middle of your series. I apologize. I'll find rest. From what I've read here.

I like the main character. I get a strong and dangerous vibe from her, but it mostly because of her wit and grit. I also see her as an underdog, everyone keeps trying to pigeon hole without any luck.

I enjoy characters like that.

The strength of the writing is good. Crisp, no "extra lacing" that bogs down the story. Your description are concise and to the point while enough that allows the reader to follow.

I'm not much help when it comes to grammar, but it looks like Rena has that taken care of anyways.

I'm curious about the "ghostly Dark Lord." Like how he came to be the way he is, and find out if that ties in with all of this or not. Maybe that in previous chapters. I look for that when I read them.

Another question I asked myself how much power does Sharisze have? Obviously she isn't a nobody, but she did get overlooked for a promotion, and set-up for failure, but sometimes that's because people are scared of that individual. What's the political ladder look like? Again maybe earlier chapters would answer this.

Great story, written very nicely. Good job, I'll be reading the other chapters.

[Vorcla]

A touch of sci fi, a dash of fantasy, and a liberal dose of romance. Good elements to mix together. I enjoy this series and always look forward to more. Nice job, Claire.