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Old 27-05-2004, 04:43 PM
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Story of Him and Her

Her arms slid across his chest as she pressed her face to his neck.

"I love you," she whispered into his neck.

"Love you too," he muttered, his dry pale lips spreading across his face.

He had a gangly frame, though tact muscular, having been a cross-country runner in his secondary school days. She was sweet. Plainly sweet, the kind of girl you see in the streets and not give a second look, though she was pretty. She buried her face in his chest and inhaled deeply, feeling his heartbeat and sweet smelling skin, a manly deodorant overwhelming her. His legs were long, almost feminine, yet strong, and he likes the feeling of rubbing them against hers, yet holds back everytime he gets too close.

They met as strangers. He was the pretty boy of the class while she was the ordinary girl overshadowed by the other teenage girls, make up and all. She almost never bothered with make up, except during presentations whereby friends would instruct cosmetic use. Other than that, her face was a naked beauty, a beauty seen also in her laughter, her great sense of humour.

He, on the other hand, was no stranger to crushes, with whispers of "that's the one" among girls everytime he walks past. He liked the attention, though he pretends not to know and flatly refuses to admit. He was a loyal lover, having had only one girl in his life so far, which ended in a painful breakup. A surprise to friends and relatives who thought him beautiful. Though as he matures, beauty is no longer the first thing in his mind. To him, only jerks flaunt their beauty, the most beautiful people show it from the inside.

He definitely knew it, having been a model and met beautiful people who are real jerks. Modelling was his only source of income to scrape himself through the three years in the polytechnic, and he hates it. The so-called glamour was nothing but skin deep.

The first day he walked into the class, all eyes were on him. Nobody met him before, having not turned up for the orientation held a week early because of a last minute assignment which he simply couldn't turn down. Things were dumped on him, forms he failed to fill, people he failed to know and details about the course he failed to understand. Although he overcame all those very soon. With a warped sense of humour and an impeccable wit. He was born with a witty mind and used that to entertain, an art form he excelled in.

She thought him cute the first day she met him, yet tries to hide it by pretending to hate him. She was small in size, movements like that of a kitten, ever so curious, yet ready to strike anytime. He never took notice of her, often lost in "guy talk" with his close friends, pulling clownish acts which almost always draws laughter in the class.

He did notice her staring at him and not stopping even when they made eye contact. Then his gaze will drop and strangely, he was the one who often admitted defeat, and trying to brush away that thought in the back of his mind that he does like her. He had seen the quarrels between his sister and parents after they found out that her boyfriend had the same surname.

She had the same surname as he. A cruel game of fate.

He finally admitted that he does have this tiny bit of feeling for her, but never showed it in front of her, just telling his old friends over a meal at a fast food restaurant. They never thought much of it, just the usual response, to "just tell her". He loved to, but getting into trouble with his parents was just too much. He knew that another spark between a relationship so back might just lead to a divorce.

He went on his vacation pursuing his love for entertaining, trying out jobs in acting and writing.

Things went on like this until the new semester began. Staying late in school was common, with projects and presentations to rush. He thought she was just trying to be a friend when she accompanied him for lunch almost everyday, went to the library together and taking the last train home together in the excuse that "she was afraid of ghost".

And she struck.

She asked the question while they walked together to the library on fine evening.

"May I hug you?"

He declined, though a sense of anticipation, yet he was unsure. He has to admit it, he already liked her. The signs were there, missing her everytime he reaches home, a longing to stay close to her and breath her sweet smell and strange erotic fantasies which he tries to brush away with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

A master at drawing human figures, he flatly refuses to draw her, maybe fearing he might never meet up to his standard. In his mind, she should never be broken down into geometric shapes, into perspective lines, into soft shading. She was just her, a beauty by herself.

She loved him. She loved him so much she misses his jokes, his lightning fast wit and sense of humour, no matter how weird. She hates animated movies, yet accepted in an e-mail to get tickets for her for "Fantasia 2000" shown at the omnimax theatre. Their so-called date was spoiled though by her friends who wanted to follow along.

He accepted their unwelcome invitation. "The more the merrier", he merrily chirps, hiding all disappointment in him. He enjoyed the show though, having been in love with cartoons since as far back as he could remember.

She thought of him every night, as she lay down on her bed and smiled as she thinks of his weird ethics. She loves the scent on his clothes, a manly deodorant which she finds incredibly sexy, though she never admitted it. She flirted, not with him, but with other boys, an attempt to make him jealous. A love song from him usually sent her weak at her knees. She loves his voice, clear, masculine and very sweet, not forgetting his amazing ability to sing the songs he knows she would love.

She knows he likes her, and plays hard-to-get, a tango she is doing with him, the kind of courtship she believes in.

Not that she still believed how lucky she was to be loved.

Lunch times gave made her find out his weakness for chocolate, an addiction of his she feeds constantly with little snicker bars here and there. He still keeps that body frame no matter how much of those filth he ate, and she was slightly jealous.

What was so amazing about their relationship was that no one in the class knew anything about it, it was a secret, and they preferred to keep it that way. Childish pranks often abound for innocent couples like them.

The semester ended and the class booked a chalet somewhere in East Coast. The usual things they did, barbecue, fishing, photography and just being very mad, our hero's forte. He warmed up the atmosphere ever so effortlessly, the very attractive side to him. They sat at the beach, always trying hard to be alone, though their privacy were often marred by some classmate who wants to play some game with him. He often obliged, much to her disappointment, but seeing him on the beach with only his shorts proved it much worth while after all. She never knew his body looked so sexy.

3 a.m. in the morning, she was beat. He lay on the floor, shining the lens of his camera, ready for the morning shoot. She looked around before bending over and kissing him on his cheek, then climbed onto the bed and lay there. He lay his camera in his camera bag, zipped it up and half naked from his waist up, he moved slowly towards her sleeping frame.

He slid his hands under her waist and felt the warm sheets, and gently kissed her on her forehead. He witnessed a smile on her, then kissed her again on her cheek. He slowly lay beside her to avoid waking the others up, who were by then either playing cards outside or sleeping like a log, their regular breathing confirms it.

She lay her head on his chest, feeling his well-toned muscles, his regular heartbeat and his strong fingers wrapping round hers. She felt like crying as she kissed his chest, then slid up, sending an erotic feel up his body, overwhelming him.

Her hands slid across his chest as she pressed her face on his neck. A smile spread across his face, his lips stretched to a thin line, as he felt her rhythmic breathing on his chest, rocking him slowly to sleep.
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Old 19-03-2007, 01:23 PM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

I really loved your story. It was simply wonderful, a story of a typical, discrete, almost shy romance that blossomed into each lover being entranced by the others inner beauty. The story flowed really nicely, I never once look to see how much further I had to read because I was completely involved. Thanks. Keep writing.
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Old 20-03-2007, 03:33 AM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

Thank you! Reading this feels like opening a time capsule for me. I wrote this when I was 18. I'm 25 now. Kind of embarrassing really reading it now, with all that fairy tale like romance. Glad you liked it though.
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Old 20-03-2007, 05:27 AM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

Sounds like the start of some cute eroctica. If "cute eroctica" is not an oxymoron.
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Old 20-06-2007, 09:17 AM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

Oh my that was great It's like a secret romance, it's very beautifully written, if I was reading a romantic drama story, I think I can see everything that I'm looking. Love the descriptions of things that happen in the inside of a person, in a person's heart. The romance of the characters I think was really sweet, it's like they were shy with each other at first and then things just went on from there. It's like a fairytale romance, I think. I like it a lot
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Old 20-07-2007, 10:20 AM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

your story was really quite beautiful and i too didn't feel a need to browse to see how much futher i had to endure. . . it was a masterpiece. . . i can imagine what a beautiful piece of art it would be. . . with her head on his neck like in the end. . . it was soo beautiful. . .

Kat
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Old 21-07-2007, 08:56 AM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

I really like the structure of those paragraphs, your dialogues are well spread throughout the write and your description skills are to be admired. I can not only picture, but even feel what you wrote there. And it has such a singular feel even dealing with a common topic.

props,

~Steven
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Old 06-08-2007, 07:13 PM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

I found your story very simple and touching. So often when writing such subject matter, writers tend to over do it. I'm happy to say you kept things grounded yet interesting.
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Old 07-10-2007, 08:06 PM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

The story is nice. I liked it, but your mechanics are pretty bad, I felt. There were too many tense changes, and a few mis-used words. I will go through it and point them all out to you later, if you want.

And even though you are 25 now, I don't see any reason why you should be ashamed of writing something of a floaty romance like this. We all have fantasies, no matter how childish they are, and only the bravest of us are able to dwell on them sometimes and lucky enough to write about them.
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Old 16-10-2007, 06:58 AM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

nice touching heartfelt story. Everyone should get to feel like this at least once in their lives. Good job
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Old 14-11-2007, 05:28 AM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

I really liked it. Your characters were believable and real. I really liked the paragraph were he explained why he wouldn't draw her.
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Old 14-11-2007, 05:39 AM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

Hi,

I am an unsentimental person so I don't think I got out of the story what the other reviewers did. However, I can see that if romance is the kind of thing one is into then it is a nice story. I however, kept waiting for something to happen, some twist. The guy in the story sounded too perfect, although maybe that was the idea. There were some parts that I had to re-read as the tenses were a little confused at points.

So, although not for me, nice enough story.
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Old 31-03-2008, 09:21 PM
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Re: Story of Him and Her

Hey...That was really good. i liked it alot. Well done. I've actually got a story up if u wouldnt mind reading it.
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