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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
Hmmmmm. Nice. Spooky, but nice.
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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
Creepy was the word I was going to use. Well, spooky, creepy, its the same thing I guess. Why I say this, Gurdit, is because it has that haunted, lost feel to it. Very emotional piece, you can feel the loss in it. Nice work.
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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
Creepy indeed. The trickster... well, really... I do not want to be in his shoes
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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
Creepy indeed, but more than that it speaks of a truth. The subject matter is wonderful. You too the whole "I replace your reality with mine" cliche to a different height altogether with this line:
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You made good use of cliches, including the "shades of grey" one. You made sure they were there in a subtle manner, so that we could identify with the piece immediately. But you kept them so cleverly hidden that you got your point across without falling into their vicious trap. I always look forward to your writing because there's a beauty in it. Your language is always impeccable. Pleasure to read. Very well done, Gurdit |
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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
You know what? I liked it too
I don't think it's perfect, of course, but it's pretty good, eh?
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Very sweet imagery and eeriness. (I’m going to comment more on these SOCs, they are extremely appealing to the mind and the eyes, perhaps more than some poetries that I have read.) I give 3/5! But just for my own thoughts, I think your 'Observer,' seems more of a 'Stalker.' Perhaps that was also your intention??
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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
He was more than a stalker... I was intending him to be a cunningly manipulative, slightly self-obsessed, selfish and dangerous little man. He's the kind of person you would pity based on his appearance and behaviour in your presence, but would despise and be horrified at if his true intentions were known to you.
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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
Strange. An obssessed man and a heartless woman, heartless as in it's just there for show not to give out. I wouldn't like to be the man either, but they're both creepy in their owns ways. The trick indeedy--evil goodness. Hmmmmmmmmm....
Yuppers, good read.
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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
That was a lovely bit of wiritng and glad you like it lol I had some things going on, then as rick said, 'Wham!'...but i stayed with mine...much prettierlol
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Re: The Trick (The Observer)
Thank you both
And of course, you're free to have your own interpretations, Lu. I can understand how this one would be very very open to interpretation because, apart from Nupur and myself, no one else would know exactly what this was about.
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