Bitter is the honey from your lips, my dear…it freezes my heart to ice and breaks it in a thousand pieces. I never imagined there could be so many tears in the whole world, let alone in myself.
Yes, I cried…yes, I died today.
You have killed me with a denying word, and every drop of this blood spilled is yours, too. This simple cut is a path your dying love made. When my heart broke, nothing else could hold, either.
So, goodbye…I wish you farewell.
Wish me one, too, as I’m half-way toward hell. Every drop of luck, even mixed with tears and blood, should count…or I just hope it will.
Goodbye, once-my-dear. It is the end of our love, not the end of my life, I fear.
__________________ The clowns were passing, and everybody knows that inside, somewhere, their hearts are broken.
Chilling and emotional, thoughts from a troubled mind. This flows like your poetry, even though it's a piece of short fiction. It's more of a vignette, but it's the perfect length for what you're trying to say. Nicely done, Maylar.
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"I wanted revenge - whenever somebody kills me, I tend to get a little upset..."
Lubesh, thank you very much, too, and...I just might do that, one of these days
But still, I prefer sticking to poems, as shorter forms/less opportunities for me to make grammar/spelling mistakes...we all know what happened last time with a bigger piece And it was pain in...lower back, for everybody.
So I think I'll keep it short for just a while, maybe some short stories in the future, we'll see
Anyway, thank you very much, both, again...my first successfully submitted "prose" piece really made my day
__________________ The clowns were passing, and everybody knows that inside, somewhere, their hearts are broken.
Oh, now that's saddening. You pretty much got the emotions quite out in the open for all to see. Some goodbyes can just be too much and you've established it in each paragraph.
Yuppers.
As a literal reader first, I was a bit confused by the suicide theme and the ending, it almost seemed to contradict with itsef; but I soon switched modes to non-literal reader mode, I could see what the images were supposed to mean.
Hmmmmmm....
(Knock, knock, knock. Something in my head suggests you should go on expanding this piece, shove a short-story between the paragraphs you wrote down. But it's entirely up to you, no preasure.)
Nice piece, Maylar.
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I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I'm supposed to love you back
Linear Mode
