[loosygoosy007]

A few hours before...

"Only five more minutes left," the teacher said, staring at the class.

The boy sitting at the desk right in front of the teacher looked up at the clock, panicking. He gasped as he saw the time. It was 2:25, and unfortunately, Mrs. Tanner was right. There were only five minutes left until the bell rang.

The boy wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and pushed his curly blonde hair out of his face. He scrambled back onto his test paper and started scribbling answers frantically down the page. He only had one question left, and it was a multiple choice.

Solve for x if y=15: 3y + 5x = 60, he read to himself.

"Easy," the boy whispered, grinning.

He solved the problem quickly and slammed his pencil down on his desk. He pushed his glasses further up his nose and walked confidently up to Mrs. Tanner, a grin on his face. He stapled his pages together and handed them to the teacher.

"Another perfect paper, Mr. Carter?" Mrs. Tanner asked him, bored.

"I hope so, ma'am," he replied with enthusiasm.

"Well, let's see," Mrs. Tanner said, taking out a red pen, "Knowing your papers, I'll grade yours right now."

The boy turned around to look at the clock. It was 2:28, and there were only two minutes left until the final bell of the day rang to let school out.

"But ma'am, I don't think you-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Mrs. Tanner handed his paper back to him. He looked at the top of the test, eager to see his score. He smiled as he saw a 100 neatly written in the top right-hand corner of his paper.

"Well done, Matt," Mrs. Tanner said, "Another perfect score."

Matt walked back to his desk, grinning. He looked up at the rest of the class. Half of them were rolling their eyes at him in disapproval, and the other half were staring at the clock, waiting for the bell to ring.

Matt sat back down in his chair, sinking low into it. He hated it when people stared at him, especially during tests. They always pushed him around after class because they knew he had the highest grades out of all the students in each of his classes.

I shouldn't care about it, Matt thought to himself, after all, when I get into the real world, they'll be flipping burgers at McDonald's and I'll be on the top of the business world. He grinned at that thought.

Matt's thoughts were interrupted by the bell. Everyone scrambled out of their seats and headed towards the door. Matt slowly packed his things and was the last person to exit the classroom.

Matt walked down the crowded hallway, squeezing between people to make it to his locker. He opened his locked and put his textbooks into his backpack. He dropped one on the floor, and he bent over to pick it up. He heard his locked slam shut from above, and Matt looked up from the floor, annoyed.

"Hey nerd boy," a tall football player said, "Don't you have to get to the Physics Club or something?"

Matt stood up and rolled his eyes. It was Shane Radcliffe, one of the leading linebackers on the school's football team. He was standing there, wearing his letterman jacket and surrounded by his football buddies.

"Hey jock," Matt replied, "Don't you have to get to the idiot's convention or something?"

Shane pushed Matt against his locker, a furious look on his face. His friends were shouting "oooh!" at Matt's comeback.

"What did you say, Carter?" Shane asked, staring at Matt angrily.

"You heard me," Matt said, grinning, "Get on over to the idiot's convention. It starts right now on the football field."

Shane raised his fist and swung it at Matt's face. Just before Shane could hit Matt, Matt ducked out of the way. Shane's fist slammed into Matt's locker, and Shane winced in pain.

Matt grabbed his backpack and crossed his arms, grinning and looking at Shane. Shane glared at Matt, angrier than before.

"We'll settle this later," Shane said menacingly, "After practice."

"Right," Matt said, confidently.

"I'll have some help, too," Shane said, grabbing one of his friends and pushing him forward, "Right, Kyle?"

Kyle Smith grinned and nodded his head.

"That's right," Kyle agreed.

Matt looked at Kyle, a little nervous. He could take Shane on any day, but Kyle was a lot smarter than Shane was. Also, Kyle overall seemed like a nicer guy. Ever since last year when he helped Kyle with tutoring, Matt saw a different side of Kyle: one that wasn't afraid to stand up for himself and prove himself to anyone.

"That Kyle is obviously gone now," Matt mumbled as the football players walked away.

Matt slung his backpack over his shoulder and walked out of the empty hallway. He walked out of the school and started making his way back home. He looked ahead and turned, walking right past the football field. Shane and his friends were running plays, preparing for their next game. Matt watched through the fence while he continued walking. He rolled his eyes at them, watching them tackle each other.

What a stupid sport, Matt said to himself, why would anyone want to be pushed over a million times and get bruises all over them?

Matt shook his head and shuffled through his papers. He read over his homework and walked towards the east side of Chicago. This was the nicer side of Chicago: there were high apartment buildings and beautiful businesses lining the streets. Matt smiled, thinking of how lucky he was to live over here.

Suddenly, Matt heard thunder. He looked overhead and saw small streaks of lighting flashing across the sky. Matt hurried into the building where he lived to take cover from the storm. One of the most important things he had ever learned was from the Physics Club: lightning is very dangerous and deadly.

Matt took the elevator up to his apartment. He walked down the hallway and opened the door. He stepped inside and put his backpack down in his room.

Matt's apartment was nice. It had a kitchen, a living room, and two bedrooms: one for him, and one for his mom. The kitchen was spacious, and the living room came equipped with a flat-screen television.

"Hello?" Matt said, stepping out of his room, "Anyone home?"

He looked around the apartment to find that it was deserted. Matt shrugged and headed for the door again.

"Mom must still be at work," he concluded.

Matt walked back to the elevator and took it down to the main floor. He exited the building and walked back down the street. Whenever his mom wasn't home, Matt was always supposed to meet her at work.

Matt lived alone with his mom in their small apartment. His older sister was currently at Harvard, studying to become a lawyer. His mom worked for Chemco Labs, the leading chemical company for Chicago. She had been working there for many years and had become a successful chemist. With his sister at college, his mom was all Matt had as family right now.

Matt heard thunder again and looked up at the sky. The thunder was getting louder, and the streaks were coming closer to the city.

"I'd better hurry," Matt said, "Lord knows how dangerous it is to be outside in a storm this terrible."

The wind picked up and was gusting across the city. Matt squinted and walked faster across the town. He hugged his coat tightly around him, trying to prevent the wind from slowing him down anymore.

Matt had finally made it and was almost to the west side of town. He sighed in relief that he had almost reached his destination, but not at the fact that he had to walk through the west side of town.

The west side of Chicago was the bad part of the city. This was where the gangs of Chicago nested and crime infested every corner.

Matt shuddered, not only because of the cold wind thrusting upon him, but because of the chill he received every time he walked through the west side. Why his mom's work was located in the bad part of town he will never know.

Thunder struck again overhead, and it was louder than ever before. Matt looked up as he saw lightning almost strike the building beside him. He walked faster down the street. He knew he was almost to Chemco Labs, and he needed to get out of this storm.

Suddenly, thunder boomed and Matt screamed in shock. He felt a sharp pain go through him, then escape him quickly. He fell to the ground, moaning in pain.

***

After a few minutes, Matt opened his eyes weakly. He lifted his head up and saw that it had started to rain. He was sopping wet, and he lifted himself up. He held his head, which still hurt from what had happened only moments before.

Matt looked around, trying to remember what had happened. All he saw was one man, looking at him with his eyes wide open in surprise.

As Matt walked towards the man, he trembled even more.

"Did you see what happened to me?" Matt asked him.

The man nodded his head quickly in fear.

"You, you, you-" the man said with a foreign accent, pointing back to where he was lying before.

"What is it?" Matt asked.

"The lightning-" the man said, pointing to the sky.

Matt's eyes went wide now, shocked. He looked back to where he was standing before, and the concrete sidewalk had a large hole in it, black in color. There was smoke coming out of the hole, and it looked as if it had just been lit on fire.

"I was struck by lightning," Matt said, amazed.

The foreign man nodded, still fearful.

"And I'm still alive," Matt continued.

He looked around. Apparently, the rain had stopped. He then looked at himself. His clothes smelled of ash, and it looked as if he was lucky to be alive. Matt's eyes widened as he saw his hands. He started breathing heavily in fear, shaking. There were two streaks of lightning shaped into his hands, one in the center of each palm of his hand. Matt stepped back, not knowing what to make of this.

All of a sudden, Matt heard a loud scream. His gaze went from his hands to the direction of the scream. Matt's eyes looked behind him, trying to think of where the sound could have come from. He closed his eyes, and he could feel himself actually visualizing the location of the scream.

Matt opened his eyes, and he looked around him. He was in a completely different part of the west side than he was just a moment ago. His view darted all around him, frightened and confused as to what had just happened.

"What's happening to me?" Matt whispered, afraid.

Matt heard another scream, and he turned to his right. It was coming from the building right next to him. He rushed towards it.

Matt burst through the door and saw a man sobbing, lying on the floor next to a pool of what looked like a glowing solution. He ran over to the man, and the man looked up, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"What happened?" Matt asked sternly.

"I'll tell you what happened," the man said, wailing, "I just killed my son!"

Matt walked around the man and looked into the pool, not believing what he had just heard. There was a boy in the pool about his age, lying face down. He reached in, and the man helped Matt pull the boy out.

Matt turned the boy right side up, and he gasped at what he saw.

"Kyle," Matt whispered, shocked.

[Corneac]

Good one Loosy! I've waited for your next instalment eagerly, and overall it was great. You have knack for making it suspenseful...so I actually want to read more. I also liked how you establish characters, their families, their backgrounds, and their personalities. I enjoyed the comparative nature of your two chapters, in reference to the two main characters.

What a stupid sport, Matt said to himself, why would anyone want to be pushed over a million times and get bruises all over them?

"I'd better hurry," Matt said, "Lord knows how dangerous it is to be outside in a storm this terrible."

I thought Matt seemed to talk to himself an awful lot. You could probably get away with the first one. But the second then he's kind of verging on crazy. If you replaced "Matt said" to something, to something like "Matt thought to himself" etc. but anyway...that just a suggestion.

I also noticed that you used "Matt" and awful lot, when you have established a character (especially a main one) it's probably better to refer to him as "he" or something like "the A+ student." It would probably make it less disorienting...but it's your piece, and that might just be your style of writing. Again, I really enjoyed this...thanks. Can't wait for the next chapter...

[Bluejay]

This was a good next chapter. One thing I liked about it was the flow. The writing style was quite easy to read. I found myself ripping right through it; the words were put together in a clean, natural way.

Given that it has been a little while since I read the first part, it was refreshing coming back at the end to the scene of the first chapter. It was neatly tied together.

I liked the character and plot development.

Requisite nit-picky stuff:

A few moments later, Matt opened his eyes weakly.

Was it really a few moments later? Had he perhaps been knocked out a bit longer, seeing as how it had started to rain?

He looked around. Apparently, the rain had stopped.

I would lose "Apparently".

Two typos:

One of the most important things he had ever learned was from the Physics Club: lightning is very dangerous and deadly.

Suddenly, Matt heard thunder.

Nicely done! Looking forward to the next installment...

[Kitzwa]

Great second chapter. From a writers point of view, I'm glad that you didnt resolve the cliff hanger from the first chapter at the very beginning of the second. It made the suspense from ch. 1 carry over to the second, and even as you read you cant help but wonder what happens. From a readers point of view, however, I thought that it was a sick, evil, and sadistic thing to do, but I'm still glad you did. It made all that much better.

[Odanion]

I did enjoy reading this story...at first I was wondering what happened to the story in the first place...the name didn't hit me at first so the story seemed like a new one completely...but at the end it finally hit me and I enjoyed the whole thing

[Seamless]

This one was pretty good, better than the first chapter I like how you've tied the characters together so far. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this story!

[Supa Boi]

X-L-lent follow up. Im really diggin da story. And its named after my favorite hip-hop group. Ima read da next 2 chapters.

[crackdaddy]

My spidey senses are tingling...

As far as I can tell this is turning into another cliche super-hero story. It fairly reeks of ideas that have been used 30 times before. Freak lab accident, high school nerd getting powers before the "stupid jocks" beat him up, cool marks showing up randomly that become the insignia for that particular do-gooder, remarks like "what's happening to me"; it's been used before, and not what this genre needs.

sorry to be a negative nancy here, but someone's gotta point it out. You're a pretty good writer, don't waste that talent on this rubbish.

[timtornado3721]

Crackdaddy is right, try not to get too cliched or people might not find this as a very interesting story to follow. I can't stress this enough but the one key to success is origionality. Take away every conept that every other hero style story uses and make up some origional material for your own. Be as different as possible, thats what will make your story unique and special. On a better note though, the suspense kept me going. The thunderbolts on his palms were awesome but I couldn't tell if those were scars or burnt marks. Telling the story through the eyes of several different "heroes to be" reminds me of Heroes the TV series on NBC.