[Elvisceration]

Synopsis: If high school is a pressure cooker, this is what's on the menu. There might be an allegory in here, but it's buried under a lot of junk...


Every time he played the drums, Rachael could hear things that other people couldn't. He played deliberately and skilfully, but never with a lot of ornamentation or pretentious indulgence. All anyone but Rachael ever heard were steady, consummate 4/4 rhythms.

But she could hear more; the infinite, compelling nuances buried in the beat's weird constancy. The slides and thumps implored her, the subtle tap of a cymbal, the hollow boom of a bass drum.

It was like the drums he was playing were speaking to her, giving her the most reasonable, rational, authoritative commands she had ever received in her life.

Except that they weren't rational.

As her hair moved like swaying snakes while she danced to his playing, part of her knew that the commands were not rational, but the rest of her made her not care.

Her wild red curls didn't need to think to move, the rest of her body didn't need to think to move, and she didn't need to think as she tore off her clothes and threw them around the room where they fell randomly, like crumpled islands on the carpet.

A heavy set boy with hair so gelled, it looked like grease had been poured on his head, moved toward her discarded white flowered, slightly urine-stained panties, but he was shoved violently back into his seat by another boy.

The girls laughed and called her a slut and some who were more friendly toward her asked what the fuck she was doing. Rachael kept on dancing, though never salaciously, now and again pointing inexplicably to the window where the sky was cerulean, the sun was shining and the clouds were few.

The music teacher wanted to cover her with a coat, but two of the bigger boys stood in front of him. He implored then, almost crying. 'I just want to cover her, she's obviously not well'.

'We know,' one of the boys replied, 'we're not gonna let you'.

Rachael danced until the drummer was too tired to play anymore. She had danced for hours. When the drumming stopped, so did she - mid dance, like she had had an epiphany.

Then she smiled to the rest of the class and walked out of the room, naked.

[JirQUEST]

well, that was rather odd, and kinda unsettling too. there are so many questions unanswered. why is the teacher so powerless? is the drummer special in any supernatural way? what exactly made rachael take off her clothes and dance? i think if u brought these questions to the front, it would have made the story seem more justifiable.

[Elvisceration]

The teacher is powerless because he is based on my high school music teacher who was a scrawny weed of a man, subsisting on lentil teas and whatnot. Rachael dances because she is an anthropomorphic personification of a pagan spirit and that's what pagans do. I know! I've seen the Wicker Man! It's more of a prose poem than a story, I was thinking of Jim Morrison's surreal rants in the End by the Doors when I was imagining the narrative voice.

[aube]

i agree, the story is rather unsettling, but i love it because its so.. so different from all the other stories i normally read!
i kept on looking for answers while reading this, but i couldnt find them. but now that i read your answer on jirquest's comment i understand.
i like the way you write, your vocabulary is so rich! i really love the part where you describe the way rachael hears the drums. i actually wondered whether there was something unnatural going on, or whether she had just taken some XTC pills :p i didnt understand she was the personification of a pagan spirit.. but anyway, now i do and i must say that its bloody well writen. ^^

[DarkPower]

I can understand why she is dancing, I can understand why the teacher is so powerless, yet I can not understand why the drummer keeps drumming.

[peter_pyne]

The story is unsettling, especially because I experience with schizophrenic people. This is a good, plausible, description of how easy it can be to take advantage of the mentally ill. Not to dismiss Elvisceration's description, and add even more seriousness to the story - but what if the drummer was just a radio at a backyard kegger.

[Elvisceration]

Wow! I wouldn't normally use such a crap word (especially given my 'rich vocabulary' -thank you Aube, though I could probably think of a better word than 'crap'...) but I am totally blown away by the response to the story. Thank you all so much- Aube I love your work, thankyou for your comments and Peter's interpretation is fascinating; it's so much fun to hear a radically different reading of your work to the one you intended. I've been ill for the past week so I haven't been on the site and I have to go to work soon, but I'm gonna do some posting on Monday. Again, thanks!

[Total-Blam-Blam]

Wow, this is quite a powerful piece! I love how you tell it so that it leaves many of the details up to the reader's imagination. So anyone can read it and still like it, and all for completely different reasons. For instance, there could be hundreds of reason for her hearing the music that way, and why she reacts to it like that, ordinary or otherwise. Wonderful work!

[x_lovely09]

Hmm. I have to admit, this was a little odd. But I liked it, nonetheless. I like how it shows how people are taken advantage of so much, though I hate the fact that it's true.

[J. M. Hutson]

Yes it was strange, very strange. It sure wasnt dull though, that for sure. lol. Only thing I dont
understand, is why it's called Drums of "Reason" the "reason" in the title puzzles me.

[Randomgold]

An interesting story to say the least. Many open ended situations left for interpretation in so many different ways. The reasons you gave earlier aren't what most people would think of, so if the pagan spirit aspect is what your really going for, then maybe you should give us something that shows this. If it doesn't really matter all that much, then it's good as is.

[RENA HANDS]

Odd to say the least. Promise, this story shows much potential for something more. Though I suppose it too would destroy your original point.

a question, do boys wear 'panties?' I think something more masculine.

It’s peculiar and I APPLUAD it! A rating of 4/5!

[crackdaddy]

I really liked this. I was sorry to see that it ended so soon though. I was hungry for more!
Very original idea too; it's not often I come across such a unique concept. This could go alot further.

Oh and rena, the panties were from the mentally ill pagan girl