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Old 26-10-2006, 07:31 PM
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Kheldar Balren The Assassin: Part 1 (Intro)

Synopsis: This is the intro to a story about a man named Kheldar Balren, who is a legend among his world. It tells about one of his many adventures.


Stumbling across the deck of a ship, a man collapses at the tip of two black boots. The owner of those boots looks down upon the man, deep disgust in his face. He kicks him in the ribs, the man falls on his side and breathes frantically.

Captain Shelton Barrymore, son of the great Tomas Barrymore, was the title with which the black booted man pronounced himself. He was large and wore, to match his boots, a large faded black jacket which draped at his feet.

It was a grim sight which was unfolding of the coast of Melodeon. For you see Barrymore was a pirate, and his ship, the 'Eagle Claw', had just caught yet another trading freight that belonged to the Royal Navy, which meant it was carrying, if not pure gold, weapons and drugs.

The Eagle Claw had been haunting the coast of Melodeon for about two weeks now, this is to be the last ship they capture before making sail, for Barrymore knew the danger in lingering so close to a highly guarded Navy Port Town for too long.

Barrymore assessed the grim faces that stood in front of him. The crew of the trading freight were all tied up and lined across the edge of their ship. The captain was laying on the ground his ribs sore from where he had been kicked.

"Shoot'em all!"

Barrymore shouted to the horror of the trading fleet.

At his words the crew of the Eagle Claw pulled out their pistols and ended what was inevitably, the end to the grave situation.

The red sails of the Eagle Claw blew in the wind, at a distance a fiery blaze stood. If it had been half an hour ago, that fiery blaze would've read the words 'Belen Royal Navy Freight 22'.

And so the legacy of Captain Shelton Barrymore was to move to different waters. But who knew that these waters were to be so close to home.


In an inn a party was going on, it was the wedding day of two of the most famous people in the town of Celerod. The governor's daughter, Rebecca Silverton, and the son of the towns bank manager, Tom Livener.

It had been a long day for the small trading town, a town that usually bustled with honest sailors and hardworking merchants. But today it had been full of drinking and dancing.

In fact, never had he made so much profit in one day, the inn keeper thought to himself.

Today they partied, but as the elderly folk in the higher parts of the town hoped life would return to normal tomorrow.

Or would it, for unknown to anyone a figure rode his horse into the small town.

A figure in a large red cloak, and brown steel capped boots, at his side rested two steel coated pistols, with the engraving 'Phoenix Breath' etched upon the sides. His long straight black hair blew in the wind underneath the ragged brown hat he wore, a hat that resembled the type they wore in the western world. And covering his mouth he wore a black bandana.

Random some may have called his visit, but needed was such a hero in these parts. For unknown even to our mysterious hero, a ship was making its way towards them. Red sails bellowing in the wind...

To be continued...




Written By Nil

Hey guys this is the intro to the story of the legendry Kheldar Balren.
It is kind of just a taster to what's coming up if you guys want me to keep writing this story.
It kind of sets the story up.

This is my first post so go easy on me...
Thanks for reading my story guys...and I would greatly appreciate comments on what you guys think of it...
xxx Cya xxx

Last edited by JirQUEST; 28-10-2006 at 12:55 PM.
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Old 28-10-2006, 01:50 AM
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Re: Kheldar Balren The Assassin: Part 1 (Intro)

Very interesting idea. I was wondering when someone do pirate(if the are some I missed them). Anyways, it's short. Yeah, I guess it should be since it is a intro. HEE HEE HEE
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Old 28-10-2006, 08:01 PM
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Re: Kheldar Balren The Assassin: Part 1 (Intro)

Yea this is just a lead up to the story. Just kind of introducing a few of the characters to you guys and setting up a plot.
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Old 30-10-2006, 06:07 AM
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Re: Kheldar Balren The Assassin: Part 1 (Intro)

Hmm. The description of the person riding on the horse...kinda reminded me of a character in FFVII named Vincent. Do you know of him? Any inspiration? or is it just a coincidence?
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Old 30-10-2006, 07:42 AM
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Re: Kheldar Balren The Assassin: Part 1 (Intro)

Ive heard that comment before, i havent actually played that game.
Its acutally a character ive had for quite a while, ive written him in many of my stories, ive got to get FFVII and see for myself.
Also a lot of people describe him similar to Jack Sparrow, yet i wrote Kheldar a long time ago, well before the movies were released, but i have to say Jack does sometimes show through. haha and mayb a bit of vincents in him too...
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Old 30-10-2006, 07:54 AM
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Re: Kheldar Balren The Assassin: Part 1 (Intro)

just the appearance. Red, with a face hidden behind a bandana. Steel capped boots, long black hair...

http://rpgamma.free.fr/index/images/...f7/vincent.gif
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Old 31-10-2006, 12:18 PM
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Re: Kheldar Balren The Assassin: Part 1 (Intro)

wow O.o
yea i see wat u mean, it kind of is like kheldar, apart from kheldar has a more...half western-half medevil look to him..where as vincent is very futuristic. Thats appreance wise though...
but altogether they are very similar.
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