[Axeclash]

Synopsis: Your fate cannot be escaped.


The easily audible sound of twigs snapping echoed off the trees. He ran through the dark forest, not noticing the sharp pains when the rocks and sticks lacerated his bare feet. The man was running to escape the inevitable.

He ran through a break in the forest and into a mossy clearing; he ceased his sprint. The damp and squishy moss felt soothing against his torn feet. He fell to his knees and pressed his hands into the moss, weeping.

"Why me?" he shouted, glancing at the sky. The thin clouds revealed the milky outline of a circle. The man screamed and returned his gaze to the comforting moss.

"I don't want to hurt anyone." he whispered to himself. His tears trickled down his cheeks and landed on the green carpet.

He dared another upward glance. The clouds were moving, revealing the glowing white moon. The moonlight revealed moist trenches of tears staining the man's face. His eyes grew wide with a mixture of fright and anticipation; it was happening.

He felt his innards churn and the skin all over his body rapidly became itchy. He made a guttural noise as his ribcage grew. He screamed as his nose and jaw suddenly protruded from his skull; the scream sounded oddly inhuman.

The man started scratching madly at his itchy skin. Hair began to sprout from the pores where he was scratching. His body was soon covered in coarse brown hair. He screamed again; it was a strangely bestial scream. The man's nails grew to sharp points; he stopped scratching when he began to bleed.

The pain became too intense for him. A puppy's whimper escaped his maw and he collapsed heavily on the soft, moist ground. He lay there breathing; he knew what would eventually come, but he feared and abhorred it more than anything.

The last thing he remembered seeing before the comforting unconsciousness took him was a pale white orb in the sky.

****************************** ******************************

The two lovers sat on the park bench, kissing. It was a wonderfully romantic night; the moon was full. They had heard a wolf's howl five minutes before and had thought it romantic -- the woman adored wolves.

So they continued kissing, caught in the romance of each other's presence, not knowing that they would soon meet their end.

****************************** ******************************

He sat on his haunches in the woods, watching the couple on the park bench. He didn't want to kill them, but the moon had made it's demands; it had called him.

He took one last look at the evil white orb in the sky, the orb that had plagued his dreams for years, and leapt toward his prey

[Project Blue]

nice. i appreciate your talent in making a good story short, as i can't even attempt doing it. and if there's one thing that always gives me a chill, it's the thought of being near a forest with a werewolf in it. you described the change from man to monster very well, i think. more people should reply to your stuff.

[Lubesh]

great piece, makes you feel for the doomed couple. I would have written 'the blood didn't deter him from itching' more gory -for example - just a thought. but i enjoyed reading this. very descriptive

[Axeclash]

I thank you for the reviews-- and for your suggestion, lubesh. You keep readin' 'em (and reviewin), and I'll keep writing.

[Peppy]

Now I know how some people feel when they read my one story.

First off, you're like me. When we start something, we don't finish it. How the werewolf feels for example, you just give a little dose of his pain. That's what I got from this story anyways.

[Evrviglnt]

Well done. Pithy and descriptive both, which is tough to do, but can result in a powerful little ditty if it is done right.

One question - once a man turns into a werewolf I thought they were near completely animal, how can he retain some of the human qualities of sympathy? I always felt that that was the most frightening thing about a werewolf, the idea that being one, you could kill someone you cared deeply about without ever realizing it, until the morning comes and you notice your wife a grisly mess on the kitchen floor....

[rosetheruler]

The changing into a werewolf, I thought was well written. Makes you want to go make some popcorn and read some more

[osofoaddo]

Nice writing and you held my attention until the following line...

"He took one last look at the evil white orb in the sky, the orb that had plagued his dreams for years, and leapt toward his prey "

Well what happened?????I WAS READY FOR MORE.....
A good sign of a good and creative writing...Thank you I enjoyed your story..Peter Addo

[adrenalyn]

Well written short piece but not enough info on the white orb, you should carry on with this it has potential.

[Vincentii]

A finely crafted story, perhaps lengthen the two last parts a bit. You could mention scents, as we are talking about werewolves here.

[Ambrose]

Yeah, I totally wanted to find out what happened after he attacked the couple. You can't just end it there! The drescription of his transformation was spot on, nothing really to critique. At first I didn't realize it was going to be a story about werewolves. The title was well chosen in my opinion, because it came as a surprise and a bit of a shock when I realized you were talking about the moon. Most stories give too much away in their titles. Anyways good job.

[superbum]

Very good description of what was happening to him from the werewolves point of veiw, you can really feel it.

[Gigle]

Nice job! A lot packed into few words..

In my taste, you should have described the morbid and violent killings of the couple :-)

[Syrah]

There is a lot of sentences starting with He. He this.... He that... Nice read but switching up your sentences would help the overall quality.

For a quick read I enjoyed this. This subject matter has been done almost to death, but I think you've done a good job. Not wholly original, but some descriptions are really cool as this is what it mainly is, a description of the change he goes through. I diodn't feel the need to ask for more, it's good enough as it is, i'm happy with no backstory and just this rather good little story.

The man started scratching madly at his itchy skin.

The fact that his skin is itching goes with out saying since you mentioned he is scratching it.
(was the only thing I didn't like).

Overall, well written Axeclash, good job.

[S.Coristine]

Just a quick point which I think took away a little from the story as a whole.

In certain paragraphs you continually use the pronoun 'He' to start your sentences. I realize that the focus of the moment is squarely on the man changing, but I think that mixing it up a little bit would help the flow and also the imagery.

Second, (and this is a really petty thing), you state that the man 'glances' at the sky, and then you go into a detailed description followed by him returning his gaze away. I felt that this was a bit of a contradiction/mis-match in lengths of action. As I said, it's a bit of an anal comment.

[Vorcla]

Nice description, but way too short.

Couple of quibbles: once the guy changes to a werewolf, I would think he wouldn't care about whether or not he hurt anyone. I don't have a problem with him retaining his human memories (after all, there aren't any werewolf experts out there who can tell you what goes on in their minds after they change - so your interpretation is as valid as the next guy's); however, even if he retains the memories, I think the bestiality of his nature will drive him to kill no matter what (that's MY interpretation).

Also, the sound of a wolf howl nearby would drive me to leave the area IMMEDIATELY, whether I liked woves or not - even if I was getting it on with a babe! What if the animal's rabid? I recently read a news story where a man managed to kill a rabid coyote that attacked him, and he got chewed up pretty badly - and coyotes are a good deal less dangerous than wolves.

Lots of potential here, but needs more development. If this was one of my student's stories, it'd get a "B" from me for "good effort."

BTW, I'm encouraged by comments that some readers are making that they wouldn't mind seeing a little gore. I have some werewolf stories that I intend to submit (probably starting tonight) that DO show a good deal of torn throats and glistening viscera. We'll see what develops!

[PaperAnchor]

The story's too short, man. But it was good nonetheless. I liked the way you described the transformation...

[Axeclash]

Thank you, I may expand

[crackdaddy]

I'd like to differfrom these other opinions a little in that i liked the way he still had human emotions after he changed. It does more to evoke your sympathy for the guy, who is the main character anyway. If I had gone down that road I personally would have gone to more lengths to describe how he was sort of...sitting back in his mind and watching all these events in horror, kinda like watching a movie, while the creature had total control over his movements. sort of like a mind struggle or something.
but anyway great piece and great descriptions.

[smoky_wiky]

It's a nice piece , go ahead. You can extend it with the curse befalling him and how some changes come up in his life , some agents , some sparks or may be the influence of any girl or some past incidents of his life that turn him back to the person he was.

[RENA HANDS]

Love the little photo or what that thing is by your name…

You missed a period with the last sentence.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” He whispered to himself.

“Why me?” He shouted, glancing at the sky.

I think I'm right about that correction, but please don't hold it against me if I'm wrong. lol

What about…The damp and squishy moss felt soothing against his open, bleeding abrasions.
This short write could be expanded into something more horrific, but for its simplicity it provokes leaving the reader wanting more. So well done.

[J. M. Hutson]

Nice dark and gloomy tale. Took the classic werewolf and gave him a darker more human edge.
I feel sorry for the couple making out though lol. Ending leaves a lot to the imagination. Overall I liked it, although it was a little too short for my taste.