[foxblade]

This is a really REALLY gorey story. If you are weak of heart or stomach, I advise that you don't read it. It's a fun, sick and twisted story, but be careful... don't throw up on your keyboard...

I had my way with them.... Several times. In the cool damp basement of stone they lay blindfolded and bound. As I finished with them, I knew what had to come next. Their crying and soft whimpers lead me to believe they knew what was next as well. The three of them sat naked on the cold floor. Just out of reach of one another. Just out of reach of any comfort. And after the days of being down here, they'd begun to become sick. I sat and watched them for hours without them knowing that I was there. I ran the dagger along my fingers not hard enough to draw blood. The time had come. I slowly stood and crept towards them. I put the dagger to one of the whores necks. She immediatly froze. I could smell the sweat... that sweet aroma of pure fear.

She asked me if I was going to kill her. I didn't answer. I unknotted and slid the blondfolds from their sweat ridden flesh so they could have the pleasure of watching eachother fall unto my fate. The moment they had the priveledge to finally see eachother, I cut ones throat. I watched her bleed and struggle as she garggled her last dying breath through her neck. The tainted blood of the lustful whore spilled onto the floor, spidering its way to her friends. The others gasped and screamed in sheer horror, scrambling to free themselves from my punishing hands. But their efforts were in vain. Then I left them for a moment to retrieve the death of the next sinner. Their eyes swelled and widened with tears when they saw my new weapon. They begged for my mercy, pleading for their lives as the blade of the axe shone with the light of a swinging bulb.

But I was being merciful... I was freeing them.

I lifted the axe over my head and came down with a swift lop. the second sinners' arf fell to the floor with a playful slap... then the next limb... and the next.

Their screams were music to my ears.

The butchered torso lay before me. Legless, armless, and headless. I looked at the last girl. She had spatters of blood all over her. I threw the axe to the ground with a merciful ping. I drew my dagger and slowly walked towards her. I saw the death in her eyes, but her fear dissipated. I smiled, knowing that she would hold still. I knelt beside her and put my hand to her cheek. I looked into her eyes and she returned the gaze.

With my other hand I thrust the dagger into her soft stomach. She held the gaze, but her expression had slipped to a state of mortification. I pulled the dagger out slowly and broke the gaze to adore the wound. She slumped over and lay dying. On her back is where she bled from the stomach. I slipped my hand into the wound and grabbed a handful of intestines. the blood spattered in my direction as the snapped and cracked away from her diaphragm. Tears streamed down her face as I disembowled her. My heart fluttered with pleasure. Then she seemed dead, but her chest continued to rise and fall. I stood looking over the carnage. I walked to the corner of the basement and opened a hatch in the floor. I proceeded in dragging the bodies and all their parts down the hatch... With the others.

After their judgement was passed, I returned upstairs to wash myself of the blood. I rewarded my days work as I ate dinner and watched Family Guy.

[DarkPower]

now that fox is sick....where the hell did you get that from..lol...oh god that was funny though..lol maybe I am just crazy but I thought it was kinda good..though reading it..I was wondering if I should feel sorry for the girls..I mean yes they are being raped and tortured and then killed but hey I dont know enough about them..its just human nature to feel sorry for an animal or human being treated like that

[Tbob418]

Nice...i love stories like this one...

[zophoria4421]

very demented and twisted.... i enjoyed reading it

[rjd_39]

extremely sick, i love it. You are so sick, how do you write so well?

[rjd_39]

total funny

[ryder]

Blood churning stuff!!! I loved it!!! Its so gory! A bit sickening though!

Very cool stuff. I'm impreesed.

Awesome!!!

[Peppy]

Very cool stuff. I'm impreesed.

Awesome!!!

[Sith Lord Jim]

Firstly gory not gorey. Secondly that was awful. I dont see the point in it. I dont mind so much gore if there is a point to it, but we are not given a story. I am sorry if this sounds critical, but i think that you should add a story line into it. Like maybe explain more of the character or something. I suppose i just dont find rape amusing or funny and you have to be careful or you will really offend people with things like this. Also a bunch of grammatical errors. Keep trying.
Yours Truly Jimmy

As i got to the slaughtering part of the story, especially the disembowling part, i thought "hey, that sound fun!!!" i really want to hurt someone. thanks for the ideas!!! An awe-inspiring story.

Originally Posted by jimthestampede

Firstly gory not gorey. Secondly that was awful. I dont see the point in it. I dont mind so much gore if there is a point to it, but we are not given a story. I am sorry if this sounds critical, but i think that you should add a story line into it. Like maybe explain more of the character or something. I suppose i just dont find rape amusing or funny and you have to be careful or you will really offend people with things like this. Also a bunch of grammatical errors. Keep trying.
Yours Truly Jimmy

Firstly, I dont think that when they wrote it that were concerned with grammatical errors in their piece. Secondly, its just a fun piece of work with an imaginative side to it. Try to see the positve instead of being analytical. But i like the fact that you are trying to help them out.
Yours Truly,
Dark Mistress

[Maud]

This seems like an exerpt from a book by Jeff Lindsay called Darkly Dreaming Dexter if you do like this story and the humor Lindsay id the author for you. But The Carnage wasn't supposed to be encourging it as-a-matter-of-fact not only does he warn you ( the reader beware) it's a story. Nothing more just words on a screen.

[Verbatim]

I must admit, I did not spend much time perusing your exercise of describing gore. (I'm taking it as nothing more than an exercise.) Nonetheless, you have a good command of the English language. You should know, though, that you must have a point to your story. Your story is floating out in the void pleading for someone to take it and give it context. Writing well is important but it is less than 10 percent of what makes a good writer. What makes a good writer is content and context. Obviously this is my opinion so take it however you please.

[Wordsmyth]

Very interesting indeed!!! I liked what I read. The gore and rape didn't bother me and was really an important insight to the mind of the character. There is always something that will offend someone, we all have different views. If we wrote everything trying to please everyone stories would be really boring. I can see though were the others are coming from about the story. There really needs to be more. It seemed like it was just a portion of the story. Why was he like this, what happened in this guys life to make him this demented and enjoy it so much, where they actually "whores" or is this just the way he saw them? If they were whores, why ? Why not one legged, red-headed midgets or gap-toothed overweight waitress's from out of the way truckstops? ......I want more. Good job. Keep it up!!!!

[foxblade]

Thanks for the comments everyone!

Jim, this was just a "reaction" kind of story. i posted it here to see what people thought of the writing style and the way it was put together. i didn't want to add more story to it or else, as other said, it would lose its flavor and become nothing more than just another run-of-the-mill story.

Verbatum... I MUST have a point? that's odd... Charles manson brainwashed lots of people to kill for him... there was no point in that. Bush decided that it would be fun to invade Iraq to get revenge for daddy... no point. Spending 5 bucks to go on a rollercoaster ride... you get it... right?

Unregistered #11 dude... Are you ok?

[foxblade]

sorry, make that "#10" dude

[Sith Lord Jim]

Verbatum is right. Also what does Charles Manson, Bush, and a rollercoaster have to do with writing a story? Not to mention the fact that there is a point to each of them. Manson i know nothing about. George wanted oil and a rollercoaster we pay five bucks to go on because they are fun and it is a rush.
Yours Truly Jimmy

[JirQUEST]

fiction is always different from real life. in fiction, u need to have a point. it can be a moral standpoint, though i wont advise it. it can make the reader feel like u are talking down to them.

[Verbatim]

"Verbatum... I MUST have a point? that's odd... Charles manson brainwashed lots of people to kill for him... there was no point in that. Bush decided that it would be fun to invade Iraq to get revenge for daddy... no point. Spending 5 bucks to go on a rollercoaster ride... you get it... right?"

Charles brainwashed people to kill for him BECAUSE he wanted to start a race war and believed that by killing prominent white people he would somehow blame it on the Black Panthers. That is a point. Bush went to war with Iraq because of oil, alhtough, according to him it was to eliminate harbors for terror. That is a point. Your story could have a point if you said something about your character having to kill in order to eat his chereos or that he needed to kill because his mama told him to. You see? Nonetheless, it is your story and if it is your motto to not have a point, then that's the way it is. I'm not saying it's wrong; I'm just saying I think it would be better if it had a point rather than just pointed objects.

All the best,
Verbatim

Jimmathy, they all have nothing to do with each other, other than the fact that they have no true logical point.

Charles Manson was an endoctricating psychopath who had more than the recommended dosage of loose screws. Bush likes to see the population of young people go down while his income skyrockets, and rollercoasters gobble up money just for people to get off them... or possibly fly off the rails and crash into innocent bystanders and unsuspecting padestrians. No true point.

but then again, Verbatum may be right, everything does have a point... or do people just make excuses so that it sounds like they have a point... anyway, like I said before, this was just a fun story, something that i could get reactions from. Looks like i got plenty of them by the comments i'm getting.

JirQuest, it'll only sound like i'm talking down to them if they choose to think that way. Even so, how does it make them feel inferior in any way? I can definately see it in my oppinion on streaking, but not here.

[Notime4awatch]

Thanks for the warning. You were right this tale is sick and twisted...still I couldn't keep myself from reading it. After losing my lunch...I gave it two thumbs up!