[Brandeno41]

Synopsis: The Easter Bunny Fights Santa

In the year 2041, Gangster Santa and the Evil Easter Bunny got into a tense fight over who had the better holiday of the year. They fought on Easter Island on May 1st and ended on Christmas Eve, 2041. The Easter Bunny's army of evil bunnies fought Santa's army of elves.

As soon as the rabbits saw the reindeer, they ordered the archers to start shooting them down one by one. They tried to dodge the jagged arrows, but they weren’t fast enough. The first one they shot was Rudolph. The bunnies watched as Rudolph fell from the sky, an arrow sticking out of his nose. Then, they aimed at the ropes and reins connecting the reindeer, causing the sleigh full of elves to fall from the sky. Then they shot the rest down. Santa’s army jumped out of his sleigh with their parachutes and their Uzis. They started shooting at the rabbits. As soon as the first ten elves landed, the landmines that the bunnies had set blew them up. Those where the rabbit's last landmines. Then the war began in earnest.

Santa was still in the sleigh at the time, looking for any surviving reindeer. He came across ten bunnies while looking for Prancer. Quickly, he pulled out his lightsaber and sliced all of their heads off. Wait a minute? Lightsaber? What the heck is going on here? Uhh… How about a really sharp candy cane? That’s better. Yeah, he pulled out a really sharp candy cane and started slicing them all up. Poor Bunnies…

Anyway, over on the other side of the island, the Evil Easter Bunny was sitting in his evil tower of candy goodness, watching the battle with his chocolate binoculars. Wait a minute? How could binoculars, let alone binoculars made of chocolate, see to the other side of the island? How about some scouts came and told him? Yeah, that makes more sense.

“Sir, we are winning the battle!” the bunny pilot said as he hopped out of his airplane.

“Eggcellent,” the Evil Easter Bunny sneered. Eggcellent? What a stupid pun! “Keep up the good work.”

After killing those little bunnies Gagster Santa found Prancer and Dancer. He noticed that there was blood on their mouths. He asked them why there was blood on their mouths. “Survival of the Fittest,” they said. Santa noticed Rudolph’s disfigured carcass next to some rocks.

“You were only here for like two minutes,” Santa said. The two reindeer looked at each other, embarrassed.

Across the island, the bunny troops were depleting rapidly. A scout approached the Evil Easter Bunny. “Sir, we can’t continue, our forces are dropping rabittly.” Rabbitly? That’s not even a word! God, I hate these puns. Anyway…

The Easter Bunny sneered smugly, “Fine, then I guess I will have to take care of this myself. But first, I need some Energy.” The Easter Bunny glared down at the scout menacingly.

“No!” the scout screamed, “Not me!”

"Yes, you!" the Easter Bunny screamed. "Quickly, turn him into a chocolate bunny!” he shouted to one of his guards. Man, kids are going to be disgusted when Easter comes.

One meal later, the Easter Bunny Hippity-Hoppited his way to the battlefield. Why do I think of these puns? He was stomping everything in his way, elf and bunny alike.

An Elf scout alerted Santa to the current situation. “I’ll take care of him,” he said.

The Easter Bunny and Santa met in the middle of the field, alone. Why? Because the mean ol’ Easter Bunny stomped out everyone else. The Easter Bunny, with his egg grenades strapped to his chest and one waiting in his hand, confronted Santa, who had nothing but a handgun.

The Easter Bunny quickly pulled the pin out of a grenade and was about to throw it when Santa quickly shot it in the Easter Bunny’s hand. The explosion instantly turned the Easter Bunny’s arm to chocolate. The Easter Bunny, being the fat fool he was, ate his own hand without a second thought.

While the Easter Bunny was feasting away, Santa shot the Grenades strapped to his chest, killing the Easter Bunny.

As the Giant Chocolate Bunny hit the ground, Santa walked over to where it lay. He quickly and mercilessly pulled out a sharp candy cane and put it through his head.

“That ends that,” Santa whispered while walking off into the sunset, Dancer and Prancer beside him.

[Gurdit]

Well, to be honest, I'm not quite sure how to review this.

I'll have to give credit to your characters to quite an extent. Your originality is certainly interesting though.

However, this felt like it was a bunch of semi-random ideas strung together. But then again, it IS a very random story, so maybe that helps it, eh?

[Brandeno41]

Some of it i did make up as i went along

[RENA HANDS]

I think you need not to capitalize ‘Hippity-Hoppited.’

Also, ‘Grenades,’ here…Santa shot the grenades strapped to his chest,

This story is so absurd, but catching at the same time. I think there is a lot of action/details missing from this story. Or much more details and action that could be incorporated into this story. So, for the original idea, I will give 2/5!

[Brandeno41]

Is it pretty good for my first story?

[Gurdit]

Yes it is. It's good for a first story. You can certainly improve, so don't give up.
Remember the golden rule : The more you read others' work, the better you get. It's true.

[RENA HANDS]

Yes, I thought the story was extremely captivating.

[Zoidberg]

Nice one, B. As Rena said, it was a very original idea.

Yeah, he pulled out a really sharp candy cane and started slicing them all up. Poor Bunnies…

That was my favorite part.

A little more detail would have been nice, but this is such a random story that I don't think you could of added anything else. Good Work.

[beverent]

I like your characterization. Very original... But your plot missed things and i don't know what really is going on between santa and bunny. If you revise this, i guess it'll be better

[Perscription]

Pretty original. Things seemed to just happen though at times, for no reason! Its a bit off the wall, but hey, I guess thats a good thing. There were some parts that brough a smile to my face, if you can do that much you've succeeded. I look forward to reading more of your work in future.

[Brandeno41]

cool thanks

[Jimbalaya]

Well, you definately have the origonality down. For your first story it wasn't bad. I'd like to see you work on the plot a little more. Also, this is more of a focused event. There really is no beginning, nothing leading up to the war, which kills the suspense. And then nothing of an aftermath, what happened aftwards, is it just that santa walks off into the sunset and that's it? Emotion, emotion, emotion. It is a good thing to try to inject your story with emotion as much as you can, emotion along with sensory descriptions, (sight, smell, taste, touch) can make a story truly great.

Again, not bad for your first attempt. Keep working at it and read alot and before you know it you'll be up there with the best of them!

[Coadmaster]

XD maked me laugh. I like it, though emotional is definitely not what I'd call it. an the lightsaber woulda been WAY cooler! ^ ^

[timtornado3721]

As a writer of complete and total randomness as well even if it doesn't make sense this was pretty good for a first write. If you revised the flow of the story more it would move so much better. Try adding to the plot a little more like writing about how Santa insulted the Easter bunny or a couple bunnies ate a couple elves one day. Just something to give reason to the season.

My favorite part was how Prancer and Dancer ate Rudolf.