[Ambrose]

Synopsis: Spencer is just an ordinary boy from a small town. When he and his friends decide to take a trip into the wilderness, things quickly go awry and Spencer is forced to re-examine everything that he once knew and loved.


The radio blared noisily inside the silver 1984 Chevy Suburban as it bounded up the craggy, mountain road. The occupants shook violently each time the car went through a rut, and were thrown to one side when the vehicle turned. The driver, who seemed oblivious to the others' dismay, was jamming out to an iPod despite the overwhelming vindictive voice of 50 cent from the radio. A tall and slender girl with red hair leaned up over the driver's seat and prodded the driver stiffly in the shoulder.

"Spencer. Hey, SPENCER!" the girl with red hair yelled, her voice battling against the speakers.

The driver turned around. He had shaggy brown hair and a prominent nose. He gave the girl a nonchalant nod.

"How far is it to the cabin?" she asked anxiously.

"About fourty miles, why?" Spencer said.

"I have to go pee," the girl informed him, making a grimace.

The SUV slid over to the side of the road, coming to a halt. Spencer hadn't seen another car for miles, so this action resulted more out of habit than anything else. The front and rear doors of the truck burst open, and the occupants clambered out into fresh air. There was a short, muscular boy with curly brown hair and behind him, a taller boy with blonde hair. Both proceeded to shuffle around to the backside of the car, with the shorter boy stretching his hands towards the sky with a "god, I hate road trips" sigh. He leaned against a tree. The blonde-haired boy produced a cigarette from his jean pocket and lit it. Spencer strolled around to the back of the car to chat with the other two guys as the girl with red hair disappeared behind a tree.

One person remained in the car. The boy was lanky, and had wavy dark hair. His head was leaned up against the window.

"Aren'cha gonna wake up Orion?" Spencer asked the other two boys.

The blonde-haired boy shrugged, taking a long drag from his cigarette. The shorter boy got up from his spot by the tree, walked over to the car, and began to rap the window which the sleeping boy lay against. The boy inside woke up with a start, shot a disparaging glance at his aggravator through the window and began shaking his head to dispel what seemed abundant grogginess. After a moment, the sleeping boy was outside standing with the others.

"Jesus Orion, you guzzle a NyQuil before we came up?" the short boy said sardonically and then added, "You look like shit."

"Yeah Ricky, you got me. I just can't get enough of the stuff," Orion said wearily.

Ricky laughed shrilly. Then he said, "Fuck, what time is it?"

"I don't have a watch," Spencer said uselessly.

"I do," the blonde-haired boy announced, shifting the cigarette to the corner of his mouth, "it's a quarter past eight."

"Which means-" Orion started, still looking only half awake.

"-that you're a fag," Ricky finished, and then was taken briefly by a seizure of laughter.

Orion glared at him from beneath his wavy dark hair. He had soft brown eyes, and light skin that was perforated with freckles.

"I'm not amused," Orion said finally.

"I am," Ricky replied. Then, recomposing himself, he said, "But seriously, this sucks."

"Why?" The other boys asked together.

"Well, see, my uncle likes to go to bed early," Ricky explained, then seeing the blank looks on the others' faces, he continued, "Which means we'll have to wait."

"Wait?" Spencer said.

"Yeah, last time I was up here, I didn't get to the lake until well after nine. So I knocked on the door to my uncle's cabin at least a dozen times, but he had already gone to sleep. And my uncle, god love him, sleeps like a rock."

"So wha'd ya do?" Spencer asked.

"Well, I had to crash in my car," Ricky said.

"Fuck that!" the blonde-haired boy exclaimed, tossing his cigarette to the ground. "We are not fucking sleeping in the truck."

The boy's exclamation was punctuated by the green and brown army fatigue he wore. The jacket, which belonged to his brother, seemed to give him a false sense of authority. Still, it made him look more official than the rest of them; Spencer had a faded hand-me-down t-shirt on, Ricky wore his football jacket with the school mascot (a burly-looking jackrabbit) emblazoned on it, and Orion wore a wife beater.

"It wasn't all that bad," Ricky encouraged. "And I was able to get him in the morning. And as it turned out, the weather wasn't half bad, so we went fishing out on Laurelwood Lake."

The others were all ignoring Ricky at this point. Spencer was popping open his cell phone and dialing a number. Orion peered over his shoulder.

"Who?" Orion asked.

"Kate," Spencer replied, and then the person on the other end picked up, so he said, "Yo Kate, it's me Spence, just callin' ya to say that we might not make it up in time to stay with Rick's uncle so I was wonderin' if it's still alright that we crash at your place."

Spencer stared absentmindedly at the trees for a moment while listening to Kate's reply.

After a moment, he said, "Sweet, you're awesome Kate, we'll see you in a few then." Then he snapped the phone shut.

"Kate has a place up here?" Orion asked eagerly.

"Yeah, it's her dad's place actually. She was talkin' bout it 'fore graduation, and she mentioned it to me when we left," Spencer grinned. "So anyways, she told me we could all stay there incase we couldn't get in with Ricky's uncle. She's coming up for the weekend also."

"How far is the place?" Orion asked.

Spencer furrowed his brow. "'Bout thirty miles from the Ricky's, I think. It's right by a lake."

"Kate's so fucking hot," the blonde-haired boy added, smirking.

Ricky looked slightly distraught.

"So we're not staying with my uncle then?" He asked, appearing as if he had won something and then had the prize taken away from him.

"Fuck your uncle," was the blonde-haired boy's reply.

"Fuck you, Dave," Ricky said in a dissident tone. "My uncle's pretty cool, you know."

Ricky shoved his hands in his pockets and let loose another sigh. The red-haired girl emerged from behind the tree and was now trudging back to the car. After a minute or two, all five of them clambered back into the Chevy. The vehicle came alive with a low rumble and pulled out into the road, continuing its trek up the mountain.

The boys were all friends from high school, out on a weekend excursion to celebrate the completion of their "twelve-year brain fuck", as Dave so eloquently put it. They had all graduated from Canterbury High; the school was a namesake for the small and unimportant town of East Canterbury. Its total enrollment barely exceeded two hundred and Spencer's graduating class consisted of him and sixteen other boys who he knew all too well. Most of the kids who graduated from Canterbury would never leave town. They would go on to lead mundane and unexciting lives as grungy cattle farmers, greasy mechanics or beady-eyed waitresses who wore too much mascara. And when those few select people left Canterbury to go onto their bright futures at out-of-state colleges, Canterbury High would become just another hick school in some forgettable Podunk town.

Spencer was one of the lucky ones; he had managed to get a scholarship, which basically amounted to a ticket out of the shit hole that was Canterbury. It was he who suggested they take a trip outside of town, to relax and get away from it all, and when the time came, he would break the news to his friends that he would soon be going away for good. At graduation, Spencer had talked to his friend Ricky, and Ricky had told him he was planning to pay a visit to his retired uncle, who spent the majority of his time in a cabin out in the mountains. Ricky had picked up on Spencer's want to leave and had told him straight up that he would welcome the company. Spencer found the idea of spending the weekend out in the woods, or at least away from Canterbury, particularly enticing, so he and a couple of his buddies decided to hit Ricky up on his offer.

Dave and Orion had graduated along with Spencer, and Orion and Spencer had been best friends for quite awhile. The two were neighbors and had spent a large majority of their childhood together, racing their bikes down the dirt road behind their houses and hanging out around the local junkyard past curfew. All of them were now fully grown teenagers, and both Dave and Orion were happy to gain free passage away from their homes for the weekend, as if the time spent away from their parents was the inauguration of their prospective carefree summers.

After only an hour journey, the silver Chevy made another pit stop. Ahead of it, there lay a junction. To the right, the road became gravel and rose beyond view. To the left, it continued on, encroached on either side by a wall of shade soaked evergreens. The rear door of the truck opened and Ricky stepped out.

"You sure about this?" Spencer called from inside the truck.

"Yeah, just want to say 'hi' to my uncle and then I'll catch up with you guys," Ricky said.

"M'kay, so you have the directions to Kate's?"

"Yep."

"Remember, you take a left when you hit the crossroad."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it."

With that, Ricky took off at a trot up the gravel road, his squat muscular body assuming an athletic rhythm. Spencer knew that Ricky had played football in high school but he had to hand it to the kid for being willing to jog seven miles out of the way just to say hi to some kooky relative.

The SUV sped away, leaving the junction in relative isolation. It followed the road to the left, descending into a valley of shadowy woods. The sunlight was now fading from the sky, entrenching the road in even more gloom. The van's front headlights turned on, cutting the darkness in front of it and smearing it against the side of the road.

The drive to Kate's place took longer than Spencer had anticipated. It took a half hour just to reach the crossroad, which by that time only kind of resembled a crossroad, because the road which intersected the one they were on appeared invisible in the deepening night. They would have missed it too, had Orion not spotted the sign in the passenger side mirror. It read "Bentley Lake - 12 miles" and had an oblong white arrow painted beneath it, pointing off to the right (or left in the mirror). Orion had exceptionally good eyes. On the way up, he had taken the liberty to inform them of all the native birds he could discern in the surrounding wilderness, much to Ricky Wilhouser's dismay.

What appeared only a patch of impassable woods when they drove past was actually a narrow dirt road, which presumably would take them to the lake and to Kate's place. The road was bumpy, and Spencer eyed the ruts and intersecting tire tracks engrained in the mud with unease. This was the first time he had driven off road in the Chevy, which was his parents' car that he had borrowed for the weekend. He was accustomed to cruising the streets of Canterbury in his fixed-up Toyota hatchback, but now he had to negotiate the clutch as he bounced precariously along the curvy backwoods trail. To make things worse, the night had sunken in now, limiting his visibility to the twenty-foot stretch of dirt and forest in his headlights. His dad's ill-tempered voice crept up from the back of his mind, making him spin the leather upholstered steering wheel with caution. The last thing he wanted was to careen off the path and end their vacation before it started.

Soon the trees parted, revealing a grassy nook in the middle of the woods. At the center, there stood a pleasant-looking log cabin of reasonable size. It had an expansive porch, and was decked out with windows. The steady white light that poured from the windows indicated that the place had electricity. Above the porch, there sat a balcony, which overlooked the front. Spencer figured that the place must have cost a fortune, probably custom built. Kate's father was considerably rich after all. Then, as they pulled up to the entrance, Spencer caught a glimpse of the lake through the trees. Its surface looked serene and was speckled with moonlight.

"This weekend is gonna rock," Spencer said to himself, with a smug grin.

The others stirred in the back. Dave shook restlessly in his seat. Judging by his contorted facial expression, he looked displeased and he was about to let everyone know about it.

"Fuck. That was some bumpy shit, Spence. Where did you learn how to drive, the Kentucky derby?"

Spencer only pointed to the cabin and said, "Look."

The others' eyes moved slowly to the shadowy abode, and then widened when they caught sight of the lake.

"Oh my god, I can't wait to get in. I bet the water's real nice." The red-headed girl announced desperately.

"You know, it's real dark, Christina," Dave grinned at her from the seat behind hers, "I bet nobody would know if you went in naked."

Christina shot him a peevish glance before opening the rear door to the Chevy and bolting out. Dave and Orion followed suit. Outside, they all meandered around the perimeter of the truck, taking in the fresh forest air and admiring the beautiful scenery. The light from cabin cast a fair distance into the woods, illuminating the forest canopy. The trees here, with their lustrous chartreuse fronds, rose majestically toward the night sky, which was vast and covered in shimmering stars. The smell of pine permeated the air. There was a light breeze.

After a moment of gawking at their surroundings, the travelers were alerted to someone else's presence. The front door to the cabin crept open and a shapely girl slid out onto the porch. From the backlight, they could see she wore faded denim jeans and a low-cut tank top. She had curly black hair, which crested her shoulders. Her eyes were seductively focused and unflinchingly. For a moment, she stood with her hands folded across her chest, beaming at Spencer and the rest of them on the front lawn. Then a smile burst onto her face.

"Hey Spence," Kate greeted him exuberantly. "You guys made it."

Spencer approached the porch, wearing a toothy grin. He hugged Kate, kissing her softly on the cheek as he did so. Behind him, Dave's attention was pricked.

"It's good to see you, Kate," Spencer said cheerily, standing beside her. He then made an extended gaze at the sprawling cabin. "And this place, I gotta say, is incredible."

"Well, c'mon in, I don't mean to keep you guys standing out here," Kate urged, beckoning them all inside.

They all moseyed eagerly in through the front door. Inside the cabin, it was cozy and warm. Past the entranceway, they discovered a spacious living room. The room was furnished with a comfortable looking futon, along with an ornate rocking chair. On the floor, there was a fur rug and ablaze in a gigantic brick hearth beside it, a crackling fire. The ceiling was high, and lay draped in shadow. There were stairs along the wall, leading up to the second story. The landing ran parallel to the fireplace and overlooked the living room area. On the far wall, there had been mounted a large set of antlers.

Kate took them through the living room and into the kitchen, which was in the back of the cabin. Here, their eyes fell on an enormous stainless steel refrigerator. The modern looking appliance seemed extremely out of place in its wooden surroundings. The door came open, exposing an assortment of food but most notably at least a dozen cases of beer. Being the polite hostess, she took out a case and began handing out the shiny aluminum cans to her guests. There was a series of cracks as everyone opened their beer cans, taking turns sipping at the frothy beverage with concealed delight. They were all underage.

"So, let's hear them," Kate said eagerly, admiring her guests. "Names."

Kate should have recognized all of their faces immediately. Heck, practically everyone knew everyone else at their school. It was that small. But Kate happened to be one of the popular girls, which gave her the privilege of not having to know the names of the majority of the crowd at Canterbury High.

"Ah, yeah," Spencer said, just finishing a swig of beer. "Introductions." He swiveled on the spot, directing his attention as well as his gaze to his friends who stood by the counter, cinching their drinks. He pointed to Dave first and introduced him. Dave nodded agreeably. Then he turned to Orion, who stared shyly at the tiled floor.

"And this is-"

"-Hey, I know you," Kate broke out, before Spencer could finish. "You were in my Trig class, you were like the smartest kid there. I remember you use to ace all the tests. It's Orion, right?"

Orion blushed. "Yeah," he said simply, giving her a self-conscious glance. Then his eyes roamed over her, hovering momentarily on her ample breasts. The low neck line on her tank top revealed a lot of cleavage.

"And then there's Ricky, but he had to pay a visit to his uncle," Spencer continued.

"Ricky?" Kate said, thinking aloud. "He's the jock, right?"

"Yeah, that's him... oh and this one," Spencer started indicating Christina, "is nobody really."

"Oh, shut up," Christina said in a humorous voice, punching Spencer in the arm. She walked over to Kate and put her arm around her. "Us girls are going to lay the law down for this weekend, ain't that right, Kate?"

Kate nodded in agreement. "That's right, Christina, and not even your brother here will get in our way!" She shot a feisty smile at Spencer.

Kate and Christina had been good friends throughout high school. Spencer had come to know Kate through his sister. Kate, though a year older than she was, was comparably mature. More than once, Spencer had gotten the feeling that Kate secretly liked him but neither of them had done anything about it. In any case, the two of them quickly developed a bond and he would often hang out with her and his sister at parties while they tried to hook him up with one of their drunken girl friends.

"So, Kate," Dave broke in, admiring the roomy kitchen. "You get this whole place to yourself?"

"Yeah, well, my dad used to take me up here with my mom. We used to go hunting and fishing in the lake and stuff. It was tons of fun, but that was a long time ago. After the divorce, he just stopped coming up here. He was going to sell the place, but I told him it would be awesome for me if I ever wanted to have a party or something. So he kept it." Kate explained wistfully.

"Ah damn, that's a shame."

"Yea, I was pretty bummed for awhile when my parents split."

"No, I mean, it's a shame he was going to sell the place."

Spencer punched Dave hard in the shoulder. Dave cowered, giving him a "what did I say?" look.

For the next hour, they stood around the kitchen, talking about the past school year as well as their plans for the summer. Spencer then thought about his plans to leave Canterbury and go to college, but resisted the urge to tell his friends. He decided it best to wait till after their weekend outing. He didn't want to ruin the others' enjoyment by telling them he would soon be leaving town for good. After all, it was their last summer as friends, and as teenagers, before they all would have to take that first daring step towards their adult lives.

Spencer was on his fourth beer when Christina nudged him in the shoulder. "Hey, did you ever do anything with that Charles girl?"

"Jenny Lynn Charles," Spencer recalled with a bit of nostalgia in his voice. "She was great."

"I always thought you'd lose your virginity to her," Christina said thoughtfully.

Spencer took another sip of his beer, relishing the light buzz. "Nah, we never did anything like that. I kissed her a couple times, is all."

Kate threw Spencer an ambiguous smile at the mention of kissing. "So, was she a good kisser?"

Spencer shrugged. "I s'pose."

At a quarter till midnight, when everyone was well on their way to getting drunk (or in Dave's case, already there), Kate announced that she was tired. She requested that everyone follow her into the living room where they would decide on sleeping arrangements.

"There are two rooms upstairs," Kate explained to them, waiving her hand airily towards the landing. "My dad's room and the guest room. My dad's bed is a king so two people can crash up there. Also, two more can sleep on the futon."

As if on command, Dave dropped his beer can and marched upstairs, his blonde head hung low in a drunken stupor. The empty beer can rolled around the floor briefly before coming to a stand still.

"Well, that's settled then," Kate laughed. "Anyone want to go with him and make sure he sleeps face down tonight?"

"I got it," Orion said and disappeared up the stairs.

"I'll take the guest bedroom then," Spencer suggested sleepily, retiring his beer can on the mantelpiece. "And you girls can have the futon."

Christina nodded in agreement. Spencer turned and began shuffling to the stairs.

"Wait," Kate said, grabbing hold of Spencer's shoulder. "The guest room is far more comfortable than the futon. You should really let your sister have it, Spence."

Spencer gave her a questioning look before saying, "Uh, sure."

With that, Christina disappeared upstairs, leaving the two of them alone by the fireplace. Spencer had had too many beers to know exactly what Kate's intentions were by having him sleep downstairs on the futon with her. The buzz in his head had grown into a euphoric sensation, making it difficult for him to think. He did, however, feel very relaxed and soon, his eyelids grew heavy.

He was brought awake when Kate wrapped her arms around him and kissed him firmly on the lips. His stomach tightened.

"Uh, Kate?" he only managed to mutter. He felt confused, and wasn't sure what was happening. Kate's face danced in the firelight, her sharp brown eyes now filled with enormous intensity.

"C'mon Spence, you know I've had a crush on you since Freshman year," Kate's low voice crept into his head. She kissed him again. This time, a tingling sensation swept over him, making his head spin. He felt something move in his jeans.

Spencer was at the mercy of Kate's delicious lips. He could taste her cherry-flavored lip gloss as she plunged her slippery tongue into his throat. Then she began to remove her shirt.

"Oh man," Spencer moaned ecstatically, shutting his eyes. He had never had sex before and his mind seemed to be doing back flips in anticipation. His only sexual experience had come from when he lay awake at night, after his parents had gone to bed, and taken to pleasuring himself. But masturbating in his room, with a nudie magazine held firmly in his sweaty palm, was nothing like this. No, this felt so much better.

"Kate," Spencer whispered in exaltation. He opened his eyes.

Kate had removed her bra and placed Spencer's hand onto her firm breast. It felt warm beneath his fingers, and he had the sudden urge to squeeze it. She then coupled with him once more and the two embraced each other passionately. Then finally, they fell in a heap onto the futon.

* * *

Spencer awoke to the light shining in through the cabin window. He felt something warm on his chest, and looked down to discover Kate's arm was wrapped around him. Her nude body was snuggled against his beneath a soft wool blanket. They were lying together on the futon. Spencer gazed curiously at her face. Her eyes were shut, and her features motionless. Looking around the room, he made note of the shadows still looming on the ceiling and figured it was pretty early.

There was a creaking sound from above, and Spencer could hear footsteps. Then the sound of water became audible as the bathroom sink turned on. He got to his feet, careful not to wake the girl sleeping next to him. Quickly pulling on his clothes, he left the futon and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. His throat was dry and he felt horribly thirsty. When he came back into the living room, Christina was coming down the stairs. She saw Kate sleeping on the futon and then gave Spencer a curious look.

"No, we didn't," Spencer lied. Christina was the only person in the world he could lie to and it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Christina smirked, saying "I'm sure" with her eyes, before disappearing into the kitchen. Spencer followed her, this time in search of something to eat. He found some cereal in a cupboard and poured himself a bowl. He sat down at the kitchen table to eat. His sister was fixing a cup of tea. When she finished, she joined him at the table. After a few minutes, Kate woke and wandered into the kitchen. She was now in her underwear. She cast a flirtatious glance at Spencer, whose face was buried at the moment in a bowl of corn flakes, before turning to the fridge and releasing a moan.

"God, I hate hangovers," Kate said.

"Have a glass of water. It's the best thing for them," Christina instructed wisely from the table.

Kate poured herself a glass of water and sat down with them. The three of them engaged in casual morning conversation, but Spencer had trouble making eye contact with Kate. Every time he did, he thought about kissing her and about what they had done last night.

At eleven o'clock, there was a knock on the front door. That's when Spencer remembered that Ricky hadn't shown up the previous night. Sure enough, Ricky Wilhouser was standing outside the front door, frantically rubbing his arms.

"God damn. It's cold out here," he exclaimed when Kate answered the door. Then he said, "Oh, hi. I'm Ricky."

Any other guy would have been transfixed by Kate's skimpy attire, but Ricky had an odd way about him when he was around girls. He was always remarkably polite and reserved. To him, Kate might have just as well been wearing a parka and snow pants.

"Kate," Kate said, gesturing for him to step inside. He did so, and followed her into the kitchen. Ricky was still wearing his football jacket which was now soaked in sweat.

"Jesus. Did you run here?" Spencer asked, astounded. He figured Ricky would get a ride from his Uncle or something. It was at least thirty miles from the cabin to Ricky's uncle's place.

"Yeah," Ricky said casually, oblivious to Spencer's surprise, as if running marathon distance was something people did everyday. He wiped his brow which was sweating profusely and then said, "So where's everyone else?"

"Orion and Dave are still sleeping," Christina said, brushing her long red hair out of her eyes.

Spencer gulped the last of his corn flakes, and then said, "So how's your uncle doing?"

Ricky pulled up a chair and leaned back into it. For a minute, his face looked blank as he thought about the question. Then he said, "Oh, he's doing pretty good."

Kate and Christina decided it would be fun to make breakfast for the guys. The two of them busied themselves at the kitchen counter, cracking about a dozen eggs over the stove and carving off slices of a delectable honeyed ham Kate had produced from the refrigerator. They also peeled several potatoes, cutting them up into fine pieces, which they then poured along with the slices of ham onto a skillet. Spencer and Ricky listened with watering mouths to the sizzle as the ham and potatoes cooked along with the eggs. Within a few minutes, a wonderful food smell had engulfed the kitchen.

Like dogs picking up a scent, Dave and Orion made their way downstairs and into the kitchen, still dressed in the same clothes they had had on the day before. In fact none of them had changed their clothes, despite having brought up clean shirts and underwear, as well as their swim trunks, which remained in the car. Nobody seemed to mind that Kate was still in her underwear, her voluptuous body exposed for all to see. Spencer kind of wished she would put on some clothes, as though to hide the evidence of their midnight affair.

When Kate and Christina finished preparing breakfast, they brought out four plates and set them on the kitchen table. One of them was piled with strips of bacon; its wonderful scent was strong enough to attract the carnivorous gaze of the four hungry boys. The other three were filled with an assortment of eggs, hash browns, and slices of golden-brown ham. Along with the food, Kate had procured a pitcher of fresh-squeezed orange juice and set it carefully beside the food. The six of them sat down, Kate returning to the counter momentarily to retrieve extra plates and glasses, and they all began to help themselves to the meal.

"Fantastic!" Ricky exclaimed after he had gobbled up a plate of bacon, and was helping himself to some eggs. "Really, you girls know how to cook."

Kate and Christina exchanged a playful glance. Kate then said cheerily, "I'm glad you guys like it."

Dave was gulping down a glass of orange juice. When he finished, he smacked his lips delightedly.

Spencer savored the flavor of the honeyed ham, which was rich and succulent and had been cooked to perfection. After he was done, he wiped his mouth with his forearm.

"Hey, thanks a bunch for breakfast," Spencer said graciously.

Kate smiled at him and he felt himself blush. "Anytime, Spence."

Christina turned to Kate and changed the topic. "Hey, let's go swimming today."

They all agreed and after breakfast, they went to the Chevy to get their swimming suits. Spencer, Ricky and Orion all changed in the car. Dave, who had never played sports in high school and was unaccustomed to seeing other boys naked, feigned illness and went and changed in the cabin. Ricky found him in the bathroom upstairs. He knocked on the door.

"Hey Dave, you feeling alright?" Spencer said through the door, which was locked. Dave had a habit of locking the door when he used the john ever since Spencer and Robert Larson burst in on him in the boy's bathroom in the third grade. He had made the mistake of using the stall closest to the urinal, and everyone knew that that particular stall was equipped with a broken lock. They had done it as a practical joke, but Dave, who had been planted on the toilet with his pants pulled down and his bony white legs showing, had been traumatized. Spencer still remembered the look of horror and embarrassment that had come across Dave's face as the two of them stumbled into the bathroom stall, clutching their stomachs while they howled with laughter.

"Yeah, it's just a hangover," Dave groaned from inside. But Spencer knew the truth: Dave was really self-conscious about his body, which was not nearly as toned as the other boys'. Dave had developed a practiced bravado and coolness to cover up his insecurities. Inside, Spencer felt he was still that same pale, trembling kid from third grade.

"Alright. We'll see you down by the lake. OK?" Spencer said and began heading down the stairs.

Outside, the air was hot and there was a swift breeze. The day had warmed up dramatically and the sun was now visible over the towering trees - a brilliant white ball in the cloudless sky. Spencer strolled across the porch in his bright orange swim shorts. He left the cabin, traversing the front lawn which was overgrown with a prickly grass, and followed the trail to the lake.

Ricky and Orion were already there, sitting on the sandy shore with their feet in the water. Ricky was wearing a speedo, presumably to show off his surplus muscle. Orion was wearing a pair of green swim trunks which looked too small for him. Both sat admiring Christina and Kate in their bathing suits. Kate had taken up a resting place on a nearby dock which protruded out into the lake. Her curvaceous young body glistened under a coat of tanning oil. She lay with her back on a towel, half dozing beneath a pair of black sunglasses.

Beside the dock, there was a row boat, along with two oars which were slung haphazardly over the sides, dipping into the black water. Spencer assumed it was the boat Kate and her dad used to go fishing in.

Christina was already in the lake, swimming around. Her slender white legs would flash for a moment on the surface after she came up for air, then she would dive back down, leaving behind a splash and some ripples. After a little while, she popped her head up out of the water.

"Hey," Christina called out to her sun-basking audience. "Are guys coming in or what?"

Ricky and Spencer looked at each other and then waded casually into the lake. Orion eyed the water suspiciously for a minute, and then followed them in. He stopped when the water reached his waistline.

"Hey Orion, c'mon," Spencer called out.

"Nah, I can't swim," Orion said dejectedly.

The two boys left Orion standing hopelessly by the shore and joined Christina in the lake. The three of them played in the water, Ricky and Spencer taking turns dunking a laughing Christina while Kate watched them from her perch on the dock.

After awhile, they were joined by Dave, who emerged from the trees in a long yellow swim trunks, clutching his shoulders. Dave had always had a gaunt figure, his skinny arms and legs poking awkwardly out from his bony torso. His skin was starkly white, and his smudge of blonde hair now became a spot of mustard on a white table cloth. Without his army fatigue, or his t-shirt and jeans, the kid looked pathetically weak.

Ricky and Spencer suppressed their laughter and beckoned for Dave to join them. Dave did so, stepping carefully over the sandy embankment and slipping cautiously into the cool black water. Once in, his face became a cheery red and he looked immensely pleased with himself.

After awhile, Orion told the others he was going to the bathroom and left. Now Kate was alone on the shore.

"Hey Katie girl," Christina sang sweetly from the tepid black water. "Come on in."

Kate looked over the four of them in the water for a moment and then stood up from her towel. She strutted to the end of the dock, peering bravely into the lake. Then she lifted her arms above her head, straightening her back. With her body poised, her gaze rose above the glassy surface until she was staring straight ahead. Her face looked stoic, like a hero readying himself for battle. Then all of a sudden, she sprang forward, her legs following a delicate arc behind her. The four of them watched in awe as she dove headfirst into the lake.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Ricky asked her when she came back up.

"My dad taught me," Kate said, running a hand through her sleek, wet hair.

Ricky, Spencer, Dave and Christina were lucky. They were all natural swimmers. Canterbury High was a small school and as such, it did not have a swimming pool. The town itself lacked the fortune of having a public swimming pool, though there had been plans in the past to erect one due to the fact that the summers in Canterbury got up to a hundred degrees. Most of the kids from Canterbury, having never been to the ocean and being situated miles away from the nearest lake, didn't even know how to swim, let alone perform an Olympic quality dive.

Kate dove back into the water, coming up directly behind Spencer. She planted her hands on his shoulders. Somehow Spencer could tell she was smiling even though he couldn't see her face.

"Hey you," Kate whispered in his ear.

The five of them decided to play Marco Polo in the lake. Christina was "it" first, and Ricky, Spencer, Dave and Kate were all swimming frantically away from her.

They continued playing long into the afternoon, until the sun hovered low in the sky. The warm air evaporated, replaced by a strong chilly breeze. The trees surrounding the lake loomed in the late summer glow, casting long undulating shadows onto the black surface. Their fronds rustled quietly, jittering against the wind. Clumps of needles fell off, swirling helplessly to their watery graves below.

* * *

The killer watched with growing anticipation. He was stooping low behind a tree, his sinuous arms clutching at its massive bulk. Its leaves drenched him in shadow. His head was cocked to the side to give him a view of the lake. Eyes motionless, tongue lolling idly behind his teeth, he followed the bare flesh of the swimmer's bodies, taking a special interest in the girls. His eyes were all but vacuous, though they contained a small glint in their corners. It was this tiny reflection of light that suggested a fleeting sentience, transforming the killer's eyes into something primal and wolf-like.

"Yes," the killer intoned, his eyes now devouring the girl with black hair.

He continued to watch the lake, his arms still fixed to the tree trunk, unmoving. After a short time, the swimmers decided to end their bathing. Slowly, they emerged from the water and proceeded to dry themselves off with towels. Two of the boys and a girl with red hair marched off towards the woods, following an enclosed trail to a cabin beyond. The girl with black hair and the other boy stood together. This boy had particularly shaggy hair. When the others had gone, he whispered something to the girl and the girl kissed him. The two of them made out for awhile on the shore, their supple interlocking bodies reflected in the lake. Then they broke apart and the boy followed the same path as the others. The girl with black hair was now alone. She was of average height and shapely. She regarded her surroundings briefly, throwing a cursory glance across the lake. Then she bent over to finish drying off her legs. The killer stared hungrily at her wet buttocks.

* * *

Kate finished drying herself off by the lake and was about to head back to the cabin when she heard something. The sound seemed to be coming from the other side of the lake and was barely audible. She listened closely, and discovered with much alarm that it was a person. He was saying "help me".

Without a second thought, Kate began to sprint, following the perimeter of the lake, towards the source of the sound. As she became farther and farther away from the dock, the sand that lined the shore receded, exposing sharp wet rocks. Her feet gave protest, pleading with her to turn back as the skin padding her heel and ball became increasingly sore with each step. The sound of the voice was growing louder and more urgent somewhere ahead of her. It almost sounded like a high-pitched squealing. Had she not heard the voice distinctly call out "help me", she would have thought she was chasing down a wounded pig. Pushing past the brush that encroached upon the water's edge, she moved away from the lake and into the shadowy woods. The voice was coming from somewhere just beyond her position. Finally, she came upon a clearing, brimming with chest high reeds and webbed with thorn bush. The bushes scratched and tore at her bare flesh, as she made her way deeper into the hollow. The voice was so loud now, and carried in it the obnoxious pitch of a dying animal. She had to ignore the impulse to cover her ears.

How could a person sound like this? Kate thought. She stopped, the voice was right on top of her, its owner hidden somewhere in the tall grass. Her heart was pounding hard now from the run, and a cool sweat was accumulating on her forehead. She leaned over, planting her hands on her knees to catch her breath, when the voice said loud and distinctly "please hurry". It didn't sound like a real person anymore, more like someone playacting. The quality of the voice would have almost seemed humorous had it not been for its sharp pitch and its urgency. She started running again, when she noticed the ground beneath her was wet. She was running through a marsh, her feet now trudging with some difficulty through at least a foot of mud. Then she heard something that made her stop in her tracks.

"You're mine," a voice croaked from somewhere nearby.

Did she hear it right? Was that the same voice she had heard all along? It sounded so different; it was deeper and raspy. Her heart was now beating furiously inside her chest. All of sudden, she became immediately aware of her surroundings. She was standing in a foot of mud, in the middle of a swamp, totally alone. A wall of evergreens encircled her, drenching the area in an inescapable gloom. She couldn't see past their shadowy trunks anymore. She couldn't see anything beyond the swamp. Darkness began to descend around her as the sun was eclipsed by the trees. She wished now that she hadn't run all the way out here. Why the fuck did she come all this way? Slowly, with one foot rising out of the slick mud, she began to creep back towards the lake.

* * *

The killer wasted no time in doing his work. His eyes pierced the darkness with ease, honing in on the unsuspecting girl, now trapped helpless in the mud. Finally, he lunged at her, grabbing her by the waist and sending her toppling to the ground. She struggled fiercely against his firm clutch, her legs kicking wilding in the mud. He covered her mouth with his hand to keep her from screaming. His left arm slithered around her back until it was cinched tightly around her throat. With her hands, the girl desperately tried to avert his killing grasp but it only became tighter and tighter. After a minute, her legs stopped flailing and her body became limp. The two of them lay motionless on the ground, the predator wrapped tightly around its prey. The girl's pounding heart had stopped in her chest and the killer smiled in satisfaction. He stood up, now hovering over his victim. The girl's face was half obscured by her curly black hair, which was covered in mud. Her bathing suit top had come undone in the struggle, exposing her large white breasts. A lifeless face, with two vacant yet piercing eyes, stared up at him out of the mud. The killer saw himself reflected in her eyes.

[JirQUEST]

i am critiquing this as i edit, so bear with the non-fluidity of my post.

made to turn - turned.

Hey, SPENCER!" The girl with... - i noticed this a few times. whenever u ended a dialogue sentence with ! or ?, u tend to put a caps after the quote. that's not necessary. it works the same way as with a comma.

i think your intro's really bad. here's why:

Ease up on physical appearance of the characters, or at least, insert it in an almost nonchalant way. What's with all the hair description?! "A tall and slender girl with red hair...". Try something like... "Her red hair fell against Spencer's shoulders and he looked at her...". It's kinda obvious that you were trying to give us an outline with the first description. Not that it's bad, but it could have been more subtle.

oh man, your conversations have to have the most number of adverbs i've ever seen anywhere. go easy!

here's what you can do:

give them names right from the start. cut down on the number of characters right at the beginning. why? i see so many hair descriptions, i dont even want to know who's who. if u had put names, it wouldnt have been so bad, but it would have been confusing still. go easy on the dialogue. if it's obvious who's speaking, then remove the dialogue attribution.

going back to the adverbs, stop using so much of it. very lazy.

what does the breakfast scene have to do with anything in the story? i thought it was kinda redundant. u go on a huge trip about the food, but what about the character development? i thought the dave bit was kinda good, and havent read the 3rd part, i like the foreshadowing.

there was one part where i read "due to the fact". i like to think that this should be used more in essays, even though i personally dislike using it at all. try changing the phrasing. it jars the tone of the story... like u're moving from a normal tone to a sudden formal one.

so here's what i really think. if this were a book, i'd feel inclined to stop. i felt like there were many unnecessary parts, and the story could have gone light years in terms of speed. u definitely need more backstory. your characters felt very empty. like they have a shell, but without the meat to complement it. try lesser circumstance. the whole story moves very slowly (no thanks to the breakfast scene and the long conversations). it's only when u mentioned the killer that my attention came to life. and that's the part when the tension really built.

[Peppy]

Man, that was long. Really long. Its pace was too slow for my taste but I'm going to read all of it soon. Well, at least it didn't feel you cheated me on the descriptions.

As for the ending...for now...it was bad ass. Hell, I didn't even think that would happen. She's like one of those stupid people in horror movies that investigates what "out there"

[GermanRose21]

The intro is probably the hardest thing in the world to write. It is for me anyway, the idea for a great story is there, now the problem is putting it into words and hooking a reader to make them stick around to know whats going to happen. I like your story, but as JirQUEST said, the first part of it is incredibly confusing, you have so many characters and it needs to be a bit more clear as to who is who and how they know each other. In my opinion your story got better the longer it continued. The last part with the killer was great! I would just suggest re-writing the first part and making it a bit clearer and easier for your readers to follow. Great job though!

[RENA HANDS]

What about saying…His head was (propped) up against the window.(?)

Should this not be ‘used,’ here…I remember that you (used) use to ace all the tests.(?)

Wouldn’t it just be…who emerged from the trees in long yellow swim trunks,(?) Without the ‘a?’

Sweet! I am so ready to read more, alas my dying eyes are telling me another story. I will return to Part 2 and possibly 3 tomorrow.

Until then, I will rate Part 1…5/5.

[Vorcla]

"About fourty miles, why?" Spencer said.

Forty.

Nitpick. ^_^

You must have worked on the intro somewhat since this was first written/posted, because I thought it was pretty effective. Didn't notice it dragging. Personally, I often jump right in with an action sequence and then go back and fill in some of the details afterwards. You hook your reader and then they're receptive to exposition.

You have a very readable style, and this flows along quite well. Always a pleasure to read your stuff.

[Storiesmaniac]

I really enjoyed that story, it was very well written. I will say though, i think sometimes it went overboard in description. i would skim read whole paragraphs because there it was moving too slowly. The characters were great. Well done.

[Jimbalaya]

Awesome story so far, Ambrose! For me, I didn't have an issue with the pace of the story, I thought it was just right.

Your characters are so life-like that it's really easy to identify with them, I felt like I got to know them very quickly. I didn't get hung up over the details either, I think the more details you can put into a story the better the story will be, and this is a prime example of that. You handled it really well and brought me into it effortlessly.

I did have one nit pick: When they wake up and have breakfast, spencer is chowing down on a bowl of Corn Flakes...would he really cram a plate full of what the girls cooked into his maw too? I'm not so sure. Maybe you could work the Corn Flakes out of it and leave it at breakfast from the girls. Maybe add in some sexual tension between Kate and Spencer in it's place.

I was actually pissed when you killed off Kate. I loved her. That is a sign of great writing, when you can actually evoke a physical reaction from your reader. With all due respect, I wanted to punch you. Very, very fine work!

Excellent first chapter, Bro. I printed out the other two (I'm at work) and will read them when time allows, but I can't wait! You tell a pretty good yarn and I always look forward to your writing! Moving on!

[Storiesmaniac]

I forgot to mention...i'll be reading the next parts!! hahaha

[Bluejay]

Wow, I feel like I'm watching a slasher movie. The setup is there, all the teenage kids, booze, sex... and isn't there a rule that the ones that have sex die first?

(I'm going to just go for it critically here, mainly because I've seen the stuff you've written more recently, and not only have you improved, but I think you should be able to handle it. )

I think you have a good setup here, but it didn't really start to move until the killer appeared - and then that made it worthwhile. Otherwise, it might be hard to go to the next piece (which I will). It was functional but a bit plodding.

The opening for me was confusing with all the characters. I know it's hard to find niches in a reader's mind for all those involved. I think you tried to create mnemonics through description, which is good. I just would have introduced the names a little sooner. It was interesting that we sort of discovered their names as they were revealed by conversation. But it was easy for me to miss. Then you had a bit of back story inserted where you name all the characters - but just the ones met so far. And I'm thinking, "What is the girl's name?" And it bothered me enough, that little bit of mystery (probably not the suspense you were looking for), that I actually scanned ahead to find out what her name was.

There were some spots that were adverb heavy; the ones that got me though were the adverb/adjective pairs. For me, some wanted to be different:

Quote:

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