[Truth A. Reader]

Extra Extra-The Real Me

All I want is to be understood from people who don't and confident that the people who do actually do. The problem is that people who don't understand me think I'm perfect and a "goody-two-shoes." Maybe I am a "goody-two-shoes," I'm not exactly sure because I don't precisely know what a "goody-two-shoes" is in their eyes. I know I'm not obsessive over grades and I don't care if I get dirty and I don't think I'm better than everyone else. People in history look at me when Mr. B. reads the perfect score from the reading quiz. Sometimes its me and I'm embarrassed, even though a good grade is NOT something a normal person would be embarrassed about. If Collin or someone got it they'd jokingly say, "That was me!" or whatever and nobody'd think TWICE about it. But if I tried to do that to draw attention away from it they'd think I was being uppity or something.

And I'm definitely not perfect. They think I have an easy, perfect life (which in comparison to some of them mine is better...but still not perfect!). Of course they don't realize I'm not half as rich as some of them, that my parents separated last April and I am so, so, so glad they got together again and that I'm not a perfect angel. I get really jealous, and I'm jealous of almost everyone even though nobody knows this. I'm even jealous of my best friend, for crying out loud!

Then, my friends, who are supposed to know me, don't really knowme. I told no one when my parents separated, although I'm sure they would have listened, and I almost did several times. My friends know everything about not being a "goody-two-shoes" and that I'm not perfect (although, again, they don't know I'm really jealous) but they don't know about the perfect life part. I'm sure they know I don't have it perfect like some people think, but they don't really know why.

I just read "Bronx Masquerade" which was really good. I wish my school (check that: my OLD school) did what they did in the book. That would be really cool and I think, like in the book, people would get to know each other a lot more.

This year has brought reality crashing down a lot faster than I think now I would have preferred. I never knew people in my own school cut themselves. But four people at least did. I didn't know Courtney could be so nice sometimes. I didn't know things about half my friends that were really important. I didn't know I could have a crush on a guy like I do and my friends have one on him, too. (They don't even know.)

I just think: how many other people are this secretive? How many other people feel the way I do? How many other people are really people underneath the look they put on? I wish I could post this in a classroom with others like it from other people. I wonder...I wonder if people could guess who wrote this? I doubt they could. Nobody knows this stuff about me. Except me.

[DarkPower]

Perhaps you want to put this into your journal. I dont see how it makes a story.

[Truth A. Reader]

Hey-
yeah maybe i will...but i put it as a story because it is; its just different. its a story about me...telling truths about myself. its just rlly short.
thx
~*Truth*~

[DarkPower]

it isnt a story its a narrative. A narrative about you. I can put it into the real life section. but it isnt a story, stories have plots.

[Truth A. Reader]

omg...i'm so stupid. !! i meant this to be in the real-life section...!!! oops. hehe. yeah i'll put it in the real life section...or the essays or poem maybe. thx
*Truth*

[Truth A. Reader]

uh actually i dunno how hehe im new here....

[BookWhale***]

Your not alone... That's for sure... I feel cought up in this too. No one really know's the real me. They all have different opinions about me. Sometimes I don't think I even know the real me...

Keep writing.

[Epsilonist]

*sigh* It's so true. I'm a full-fledged independent adult (though still a student), and I often think that people know more about me here at Storiesmania than some of my friends and most of my family do in real life. Perhaps it is that under the condition of anonymity, I can be more myself. Why is that?

[Rhetorikal]

Yeah, it is true. I think no matter how well you can know someone, they're always holding back. People who I speak with in passing conversation find me shy. I'm not actually shy, I just like to listen until I know the person. Good friends know me, and think they know me very well, to some extent they do. Then again, I too hold things back. It's human nature, we're all afraid of letting go and 'wearing out hearts on our sleave' Nobody can ever know everything about anyone, even for the simple fact that we're always changing. So don't worry about it, everyone holds back.

[desiraejones333]

I have to agree with everyone, all of us have some of our true identity held inside us...no matter what. I guess thats what makes us, us. If everyone knew who we truely were, then, we wouldn't truely be who we are. There's a part of everyone that is better left for only us to know. Like take me for example...im 14 years old...and have many good friends, but there is something that none of them know about me. Id trust them with my life, but I couldn't even tell my mother that. And your family is supposed to know who you truely are. Anyways, thats just my little theory.

[BookWhale***]

Man, Iwonder what holds us back from bringing our real selves out for the world to see. I really want to show my true colors and all... But like 18catz said, we hid ourselves so we do not get hurt... But sometimes I swear like I am hurting myself hiding everything...

Truth - you may have the joy of knowing that you are not the only one jealous of your good friends...

[Storiesmaniac]

What holds you back is fear. Fear of being rejected. May not seem like much but once you have fear it can control everything you do. I learnt once long ago that to be myself is the most freeing thing possible, and at every opportunity i get i will speak my mind and i will do crazy things because i want to, i get strange looks and insults all the time, but to me that just makes it more fun. Any one can be free as soo as they let go of fear.

[desiraejones333]

hehe I agree, I get strange looks and insults ALL the time, but thats because I am strange, and I love being strange...hehe!

[quote]
i really like this story it sounds like me......................

[Zoidberg]

OMFG! Sorry for the language, but the first paragraph describes me EXACTLY. That's really creepy.

Good Story. It really makes you think. Nice One.

[WorldWarCheese]

The problem is that people who don't understand me think I'm perfect and a "goody-two-shoes." Maybe I am a "goody-two-shoes," I'm not exactly sure because I don't precisely know what a "goody-two-shoes" is in their eyes

You said "goody-two-shoes" a lot and it made it a little awkward to read. Messed the flow a little bit.

I just read "Bronx Masquerade" which was really good. I wish my school (check that: my OLD school) did what they did in the book. That would be really cool and I think, like in the book, people would get to know each other a lot more.

Okay, wait what? What just happened? Weren't we just talking about your friends and jealousy? I have never read that book and now I'm confused as all fuck.

I didn't know Courtney could be so nice sometimes

Who's she? What's her relation to the narrator?

Except me.

Now I know it too. And Knowledge is Power!

Anyhoo, that was a quickie, not bad but not really anything more than a quick journal entry about how the world never "gets" you. Why not write a story about a character similar to this one but flesh it out, make it a little more reader friendly.

I can tell this was an act of self-therapy, which is fine, but if you want people to read your stuff you gotta make it interesting and compelling. Flesh out the characters, who's the girl? Who's the best friend? Cite specific events in the life that exemplify what you're trying to say.

It wasn't bad, but it also wasn't geared to be read.

Oh, and about the "World Getting Who Is WorldWarCheese" thing that the rest are all chit-chatting about: I'm pretty disinterested, but I never pass up a chance to voice opinions:
None of you know me. I am currently an entity called "Cheese" with a weed-smoking chipmunk for a face. For all you know I could be a sixty year old woman who is bedridden and thus stays up-to-date via a television and a morphine drip. So I may post personal matters here that I would not tell someone I am REALLY (as in IRL) close to because you can't hurt me, touch me, or affect me in any significant manner emotionally.

My friends in the real world know who I am because I can't be anyone else but me when I am standing in front of you. I may act one way or another but I am who I am and that affects the manner in which I do things, say things, or react to certain situations.

That's why psychologists are popular. You basically pay for an online session because you can say whatever you want because in the end this "Doc" is little more than hired help who never slept in your room, ate your food, kicked your ass or dealt with you in any capacity on a day to day business.

I have two solutions if this is an actual "cry for help" writing:
Therapy or write more (but for the love of Shiva, write in a compelling manner, even if it is nonfiction)

[Eva Marie]

I know what you mean, Truth. I feel that way a lot.

[Debaser]

Ok...this is what I find interesting about this thread. A lot of people seem to identify with the idea that they (we ) are misunderstood by the general population. Well, the truth is, no one really knows us. I mean NOBODY. We don't even completely know ourselves. This is because, unless you believe in God (and maybe even if you do), nothing is absolute. I don't mean to bring religion into it, but, what I mean is, everyone has their own perspective. And unleess you belive that some higher power is looking down and seeing the REAL TRUTH, then who is to say what the real truth is?

In other words, everyone sees us from a certain subjective angle. If you don't get high in math class, your math teacher might see you as straight-edged. On the other hand, your smokin' buddies might think you are a pot-head who can't add or subtract... Your dad might think you have an aptitude for math while your mother might think you are bad with numbers. And the fact is, they are all right... unless you believe there is an absolute truth.

(I say nothing is absolute because unless you believe in a higher power that knows what the REAL truth is), the fact is that there are thousands of truths. We all see little snippets of the people around us and we form an opinion. Who knows what is TRUTH? We have our own truths. One person finds you sexy..another thinks you are ugly...what is the truth?

I say, be sexy. Make your own truth. But don't expect that the world will believe it just beacause you do...

[Corneac]

Santa knows if I've been a good boy or not..

[WorldWarCheese]

So do I.

[Eva Marie]

uh oh... this can't be good.