[jback]

Synopsis: A Teacher falls in love with his student, who becomes pregnant.

REDEMPTION:

“Never have I loved someone more than I have loved my wife, and I cannot reiterate more that til’ the day I die she will always be my soul mate the one I hold dear. And as I write this entry from this dimly lighted room, I will always declare that I was caught in extreme circumstances not under my control. With that being said, my name, not only as an educator but as a man has been tainted and my character as a human being has been unfairly judged. What I did was out of love, and an emotion so strong can take over and rule your mind. We as living creatures all have temptations and all make mistakes and everybody deserves redemption”.


The bell chimed at three as everyone quickly stampeded out the room like a herd of cattle. Nicole James, an intelligent, shy senior stayed behind collecting her papers and books. Mr. Harris who was a history school teacher at West-Forest High School continued typing up his daily class notes. Nicole politely interrupted his typing and asked if he had any time to discuss the day's lesson. He lifted his head above his laptop to see the beautiful, young Nicole standing innocently beside him.

Harris who always thought his student was special, with her above average academics and confident good looks, abruptly and eagerly obliged and went over the day's class with her. While Mr. Harris thoroughly explained everything to Nicole, he kept getting distracted by her half open blouse. After each word he spoke he would slyly shift his eyes for a better view. The man, who was 35 years old and a teacher for 7 years knew that it was against school policies for teachers to have relationships with their students. He kept trying to repeat that it was wrong to have those feelings, but could not help himself. Nicole was not completely innocent since she did have a school girl crush on the much older superior. She would every once in a while gently caress his arm and act coy about it like nothing had happened. Just when things were about to take a more mature turn they were interrupted by Lana Harris, a fellow teacher who happened to be Mr. Harris’s wife. Nicole, knowing the fun was over, thanked him for the help and slipped out of the classroom.

“As Thoreau said “There is no remedy for love but to love more”, and this is how I feel. A mighty temptation by the name of Nicole has come into my life. My wife I adore, she has given me a child and I will always cherish her, but there is lust in my heart. I feel alive when I am in Nicole’s presence and she makes me feel needed. I see her staring at me out of the corner of my eye and I know her feelings are true. Nicole is not like most of the teens I teach. She is more mature, academically advanced and has the look of a college student. I know it is said to be wrong but how can a love so pure be considered evil? Many thoughts have entered my mind and only time will tell.”

She knocked on the door and patiently waited until a familiar voice greeted her and extended the invitation to enter. Nicole, dressed in a rose color tight tank top and short black skirt, walked into the room and intentionally closed the door behind her. She reminded Harris that he had requested her to stay after school to discuss the enriched academic program that Nicole had been working on. The history teacher went to his desk and sat down then motioned for the anxious girl to sit down beside him. The teacher’s eyes peeked over at Nicole and he knew it was time. He could see the passion burning like embers in her eyes. He oh so suavely placed his hand on her exposed knee and he knew it was time.


“I now know what it means to be complete. For I have done what I feel I needed to do instead of what was right. I insist that I have done nothing wrong. Love cannot be wrong, love is pure, and I have loved. Nicole had given me herself and I have taken her in full. My wife who is my partner never has to know and as long as it stays hidden nobody has to get hurt ”.


She quietly and discreetly snuck into the pharmacy with her hood pulled over her long blonde locks. This was unlike anything the bashful, yet quick witted, straight “A” student had ever done. She went down two different aisles scanning the many products until she spotted her item. She crept to the cash register where luckily for her nobody else was there, and set her product on the scanner. The store clerk looked at the teen who had just turned 18 and gave her a disappointing glare, then rang her up. Nicole grabbed the pregnancy test, put it into her purse and abruptly left for home.

“I’m pregnant and feel so alone. I‘m afraid what my parents will do and say. I fear that they will disown me and throw me out. It then comes into my mind that the child’s father, who is also a married teacher will not abandon me and will decide to make a life with me and his baby. Maybe not all hope is lost”.

It was the first time that she had been in his home. It was very nice and clean and she knew he was well off financially. His wife and infant daughter had gone out so the overly excited teacher invited his new muse over. As soon as he saw her face he knew something was wrong. Where a bright, exuberant smile usually laid, a crooked, sobbing frown now appeared. It wasn’t long until Nicole exposed the pregnancy news. She was relieved once he knew but the relief soon turned to heartbreak. The teacher who had not thought of the consequences of his actions now realized what was going to happen. He looked at the picture of his wife and daughter that hung on the wall and knew he could not give that up. He explained to Nicole that it was all a mistake and just because they had a physical relationship once before it had to end and she must have an abortion.

Nicole, after coming to the realization that the man she desired rejected her and wanted their unborn child never to exist, began to cry in hysterics. The older man tried to comfort the distraught girl but she pushed him off. She did not want his condolence and said that she was going to tell everyone what had happened. She sobbed, and threatened to expose the secret. Alex Harris who was not normally a violent man, in a fit of rage caused by the love for his wife and child put his large hands around the girls neck and started to squeeze.


“Love is a very strong emotion, and can make you do things you never thought you could do. Lust had blinded my perception of love and taken over my body. I betrayed my wife who I chose to devote myself to, because of a simple urge. In the end I had to pay for my sins, but do not regret what I did to her. Nicole was going to destroy my family. Now as I lay on my cot in my cell all I can think is my redemption will free me”.

[Gurdit]

Hey jback,
Your story itself is not particularly astounding or something amazingly innovatively new, but what I liked a lot was that you took a simple setting and wrote it pretty well. The journal entries were honest and forthright. I particularly liked how the teacher defends his actions, and his thoughts.

[suresh15]

The story looks bit morally wrong as fora teacher's profession. Anyway love is blind. The teacher's justification does not sound good, but again he is a victim of circumstances and lust. Good narration!

[Jimbalaya]

Interesting story. You here more and more about this kind of thing in the news these days. I think you did a good job at expressing the feelings of the characters, but the story moved a little to fast for me. By that, I don't mean that the pace was off, it wasn't, but the holes in the time frame. The relationship rockets, then she's pregnant, then he kills her to save his family. In the end, he tore his family apart anyway. But what happened in between it all? Would like to see more in this. The writing was great and I think you did a good job with a difficult subject. Keep up the good work.

[Augra]

I liked it. Very well written and nice bit of suspense as you go along. Perhaps a bit too much exposition on the "Mr. Harris who was a West Forest High School Teacher" and other areas like that. In the sentence before that, you already mentioned Nicole was a Senior so it would be assumed that Mr. Harris was the teacher. Overall good narrative, but make exposition a little more blended into the writing. : )

[RENA HANDS]

Never had I loved someone more than I have loved my wife, and I cannot reiterate more (than) that til’ the day I die she will always be my soul mate, the one I hold dear. (Possible rewrite for the original is awkward).

What I did was out of love, an (removing the original ‘and) emotion so strong (that) can take over and rule your mind. (Another possible modification to your ‘synopsis.’).

Maybe put ‘special’ obviously in quotes to separate her from the other students.

You seem to just ‘narrate’ this telling.

Is Lana Harris, Mrs. Harris or Ms. Harris?

I would suggest putting…‘her feelings are true,’ I mean lets face it, she’s a teenager.

How ‘permanent’ are her emotions?

Shouldn’t it be…

the History teacher?

It should be

…around the girl’s (girls) neck and started to squeeze.

Love is a very (powerful) emotion, it can (drive) you do things you never thought (before). Another possible revision.

Much, much details/actions are missing from this story...

1. Give more features (physical/emotional/mental) of Mr. Harris.
2. Give more features (physical/emotional/mental) of Mrs. Harris.
3. What problems are the Harris’ experiencing?
4. Who is this Nicole James (physically/emotional/mentally)?
5. Nicole is ‘special’ because?
6. What other experience/situation had Mr. Harris with Ms. James?
7. How else did Ms. James flirt with Mr. Harris?
8. Mrs. Harris never thought her husband a cheat?
9. What is the Harris’ home like (physically/emotionally/mentally)? I mean do they present one face to the public and another only to each other?

You could show more dialogue between all the characters. Show more of Ms. James’ experience at the pharmacy (physically/emotionally/mentally). Show me more about this ‘fight’ with Ms. James and Mr. Harris. Illustrate me more of Mr. Harris’ frantic thoughts of his ‘family.’ What was Mr. Harris’ prison term? Has he found God while in search for ‘redemption?’

Just for my personal thought…any teacher ‘involved’ or who chooses to become ‘involved’ with a student, he/she deserves prison time and more!

You have an idea here, not necessarily innovative, but I think the delivery fell short. So for the idea I will give 2/5!

[thelma&louise]

Well-written, but needs editting. I just want to mention something:

I know it is said to be wrong but how can a love so pure...

To tell you the truth, it didn't seem like love at all to me. He seemed like a perverted teacher, and her a hormonal teenager. I didn't see the love factor at all. Maybe you should add some examples to suggest that in the story instead of just the flirting/caressing parts. Maybe even, possibly, show some kind of resistance on the teacher's part. But that obviously comes back to you.

And I agree with Rena...teachers like that deserve any punishment they're given, no matter how cruel. They need to keep their hormones/emotions/whatever in check. We can't have every other teacher running around and having affairs, there are hundreds of young girls in every high school. But this isn't a debate forum so I'll cut it short. Hmm, it's a great subject to start a debate on, though....-grins evilly-

And may I just say...add a dash in between school teacher (school-teacher). I got a little confused there. =)

-Chris.

[marty2shorty]

Wow, once again, I had a story just like this in my head, and you've gone and written it. But a lot better than I could've done.

I don't think Mr. Harris should have choked her, I mean, he loves her, and he's willing to look her in the eyes and squeeze the air out of her, to save a marriage that isn't very good to begin with. But I guess it's for that kid he has with Mrs. Harris. He should have done it some other way.

In the end, it gets a bravo.



... (or maybe he was just done with her, nothing BUT lust)