[Keplaz]

Synopsis: How a young couple living together deal with a few problems they face.

"Kev can you go pick your clothes from the floor please!" she says, her voice already beginning to rise.

I pretend as if I can't hear her, and continue twiddling with the Playstation controller in my hands.

"Kevin!" she says, "I know you can hear me, I've just tidied up the bedroom and your clothes aren't really meant to be on the floor, we do, believe it or not, actually have a wardrobe."

Her voice is already reaching dangerous decibel levels and I know from experience that I can't really get away with ignoring her for much longer.

"But I picked them up a few minutes ago" I protest weakly, my eyes still locked on the TV screen.

"Honestly Kev, all you did was move them to the other side of the floor and that's really not putting them away. Do I have to do everything for you? I clean, I cook and I do the dishes but do you ever appreciate anything I do? As if things aren't hard enough already"

I turn away from the Playstation finally, her voice didn't sound angry anymore, she sounded upset and I know that within minutes she might start crying again. Her big brown eyes are teary and wet and her small round face looks forlorn and lost. She is half-sitting and half lying on the black leather couch. The Playstation and the hundreds of games I've been collecting for 6 years are on the other side of the room, close to the TV so I stand up and walk towards her. She looks away as I sit beside her.

"I'm sorry honey", I say as I lie beside her on the couch before putting my arms around her.

She says nothing and instead looks at the TV which isn't really doing anything right now, she's sulking.

I kiss her neck softly and rub her swollen belly gently.

"I'm sorry Jess, I'll go pick up the clothes and you know I appreciate you don't you babe?" I whisper in her ear.

She says nothing. She's still sulking.

I get up and go turn off the Playstation and switch the TV back to the normal programmes before heading to the bedroom. I pick up the clothes that are strewn in an untidy heap on one side of the floor and dump them in the washing basket. I take the car keys from my coat pocket and head for the door.

"I'll be back in a minute" I say as I open the door, Jess is in the other room and I know she can hear me but today she's sulking more than usual and pretends as if she can't and doesn't say anything.

"I'm back." I say ten minutes later.

I don't really wait for a response and walk into the tiny living room with the bunch of pink roses I have in my hand. Her eyes light up as she sees the flowers, she tries to keep sulking but she somehow she can't keep up the charade. She gets up and takes the flowers from me before heading into the kitchen to hunt down a vase.

"Don't think you are off the hook, yet." She says with a smile as she glides past me.

"Will these help?" I ask as I pull out the jar of pickles I also bought from the supermarket.

Pickles are not the most romantic thing I could have bought her but I know she has been craving them lately and she hasn't really had the strength to leave the house. They are not chocolates but for my girl, they are better.

She takes the pickles without a word and when she returns from her forage in the kitchen, she places the vase of flowers on the table, along with her pickles and kisses me fondly on cheek.

"Hey!" I protest, "Is that all? I bought you pickles woman!"

She laughs and kisses me tenderly on the lips. I give her a huge hug, and we lie on the sofa together and begin watching TV. The storm has blown over.

*******

Jess has gone to the maternity clinic with her mother for a check up and I am alone in the flat. I usually go with her but today her mother wanted to take her shopping afterwards so I was forced to relent. The bedroom is untidier than usual and there are so many clothes on the floor it looks like some sort of patchwork carpet. Jess has been feeling more tired than normal and hasn't been able to do much housework for the past two days but with her being eight months pregnant, I can't really blame her. I'm off from work on Fridays so I can drive Jess for her check up but since I didn't have to take her, I contemplate sleeping until midday or even getting up to play videogames until she returns. I step out of bed and after using the toilet, decide to go downstairs and have some cereal. I try and find a bowl in the cupboard but after finding it empty, realise it's buried somewhere in the tower of dirty dishes that is ascending steadily from the sink.

I don't know how I get the idea in my head but I decide to surprise Jess and clean the house for the first time since we moved in together. As I begin to tackle the mountain of washing up that doesn't seem to be getting any smaller despite me having been working at it for almost forty five minutes now, I realise just how much work Jess has to do everyday. I'm too busy with my job to help her, I tell myself but I know it's not true, I could do a little more to help instead of playing videogames after work. After almost two hours all the dishes have been washed, dried and put away and I sweep the floor after cleaning the cooker. I am tempted to stop but I tidy the living room before proceeding to pick up all the clothes on the bedroom floor and hang them neatly in the wardrobe. I grimace inwardly when I realise that everything on the floor is mine, I had never realised how much of a slob I was or how much Jessica really picked up after me.

By the time I finish cleaning the house it's almost three o'clock and Jess is due back home any minute. I have one more errand to run before she gets home and I rush out the door with one of the most painful decisions I had ever made. After spending a day in my girlfriend's shoes I have realised just how much work she does and I know as the baby gets closer to coming, she'll need more help round the house than I can give her. Money has been tight for a while but with my new job we are coping very well. We had only just moved in together when Jessie got pregnant and even though we hadn't been expecting it, it was the best news we could have ever had. I return home and find Jessie planted on the sofa, watching TV. She looks exhausted.

"Kev, what happened to the house?" she says, smiling.

"I don't know. Just woke up and found it clean. Babe, I never realised just how much work you have to do. You really should have told me, I would have helped a little more."

She could easily have pointed out that she's been telling me to help more for the past eight months but because she's her, she doesn't burst my bubble.

"I know how busy you get with work and everything. Thanks for being so helpful Kev, what would I do without you?" she asks as she kisses me.

After we finally pull away, we lie on the sofa in our usual positions as we watch Home and Away.

"Jessie, I know you won't be able to do as much around the house for a while so I hired someone to help you with the cleaning. She'll be coming for any hour everyday for the next 6 months, all you'll have to do now is cook and even then I'll try and help you with that."

She sits up abruptly and looks at me in shock.

"We can't afford any cleaning help right now Kev, with the baby coming. You know that, how are we going to afford it? I know you were trying to be helpful but honestly Kevin."

"It's ok," I say, "We can afford it. You've been making sacrifices for so long; I decided to make one of my own. I've already paid the cleaner sweetie, so don't worry about that. I never knew how much you had to do."

"What are you talking about?" she says, with a puzzled look on her face.

She turns around and looks towards the TV and it suddenly dawns on her,
"Kevin what happened to your Playstation and all those games?"

I can't look her in the eye.

"I sold it." I say.

"But you loved that machine. And all those games! We can go back and get them, I'll be fine Kev. I don't really need any help."

She looks sincere and because she's her, I know she means it.

"I can always get another one after the baby comes" I say nonchalantly.

She's staring me straight in the eye and she knows how much the sacrifice hurt. She gives me a huge hug.

"Thanks" she says simply and we stay like this for a while, happy, that it is until I leave my clothes on the floor again.

[Phonoho]

I'm assuming that was not a PS3. My wife loves pickle juice snowcones.
Nice sentiments, adequately expressed, yet it doesn't pop. Great lesson in giving and sacrifice, yet could use a little zest, or a hook.

[Keplaz]

Thanks for the comment. I sort of know what you mean but there was no artistic embellishment in this one or much imagination, just sort of lifted a typical day (except for selling the PS2) from my best friend and her fiance's life. Was going to spice it up a bit but I sort of liked it the way it turned out. Thanks for the feedback.

[Phonoho]

Originally Posted by Keplaz

Thanks for the comment. I sort of know what you mean but there was no artistic embellishment in this one or much imagination, just sort of lifted a typical day (except for selling the PS2) from my best friend and her fiance's life. Was going to spice it up a bit but I sort of liked it the way it turned out. Thanks for the feedback.

I suppose what I mean to say is that, to be a good romance, your story needs to encapsulate more than just Sunday school sentiments and examples of caring behavior. It only takes a little fire to send your story right over the top.

[Keplaz]

That depends on what you personally consider to be a good Romance. This is like a picture, a mere snapshot of a relationship and even though I have noted your advice, I'm still happy with it. If I do decide to change it, I'll take your advice on board. Thanks.

[Odanion]

This story was quite nice to read, it did not hold a huge amount of thrill or dazzle it did manage to hook me into reading further, and I think it is mainly because you were able to capture a real couple so well, I guess some may say that it isn't very hard to capture that feeling, but I disagree you really gave me the feeling that I was looking straight through your story into the life of two people...I say great job and I cant wait for a new story

[Bluejay]

What I liked about this is that, in the beginning, it sounds more like a mother and son than two people in an adult relationship. It seems to me that through the progression of the story, he gradually leaves (some of) his old ways behind, stepping up to being more of an adult. At first, I thought selling the game unit was extreme, without strong prior support. But it could be seen as a definitive step toward his new role (and life) as a father.

Not sure if you meant it that way, but that's what came across to me.

Nicely done!

[spinx]

It was ok but it seem to be missing something.

[LullabyHearts]

The beginning to me was slightly unappealing. I think you need a little bit of a more woah beginning. Also the title is a little awkward.

[katofmystery]

that was really a great story. . . it touched my heart and warmed it significantly. . . all the sacrafices made. . . i don't have a game station either though because i gave it to my lil bro and he loves it so it was all good. . . now i know how Kev feels eh?

amazing
Kat

[WorldWarCheese]

Good story, I really liked how one small moment can lead to momentous decisions.

Just one point (Otherwise it was a good story) but:
As I was reading the part where the wife gets home you write

we lie on the sofa in our usual positions as we watch Home and Awa

. Instead of taking it for what it was I sort of just stopped and thought "Well, what IS the usual position?" and was taken out of the moment a bit.

[jback]

I think you need to maybe spice the beginning up and bit to keep the reader interested to finish the story. I like the title and chose to read your story becuase the title was so intriguing, I had to find out what it was about.

[Zoidberg]

I thought your story was pretty good. It captured one of the the subtle, sweet moments in a relationship. I do agree with Bluejay that it seemed like selling the PS2 was a move into his new role in life. I really liked it.

Also, it seemed very realistic. It was a part of the average couple's life. Good Work.